


You Make Me Begin

by Squishy_Hopemon



Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Age Switch, Also my first time on ao3, Angst, BTS are one big family, Depression, Gen, Got7 are in there if you squint, Hoseok is older than Yoongi lol, I really don't know anymore, I wish I could love myself, Joonie is a big clumsy child like always, Just kidding they're kinda a big part? Idk, Rape, Seokjin is lonely, Tags will be added as the fic progresses, chanyeol is MUCH older than Taehyung, first time writing a fanfic, please take care of me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 17:13:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 38,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11628132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishy_Hopemon/pseuds/Squishy_Hopemon
Summary: This is the story of how seven boys met and learned that they had no one to count on except for each other.This is a story of how they became a family.I suk @ dis plz read





	1. Even so, I want to struggle

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my first time on ao3 and I'm honestly very excited to share my books here! I hope everyone loves reading this as much as I love writing it <3 also the first few chapters are going to be short, just to give you a feel of how the boy's lives are!! Enjoy!
> 
> Ps. There's an age switch between Hoseok and Yoongi.

Seokjin never was one to give up easily, so when his parents kicked him out of the house, he kept going. Even though it was cold, he was starving and had nowhere to sleep..he kept going. He slept on Park benches, in alleyways and in underground metros.

He worked almost everything you could think of, a waiter, a cashier, a mailman and even a janitor.

A year ago, he was studying in college to become a doctor. Seokjin was brilliant at his studies and one of the top in his class. His hometown no longer felt like..well his home, so he moved to the big city..Seoul. 

There, he found a hospital that hired him. He was living a stable life with good money. All he was missing was the company of others.

He was always too busy or too tired to go out and interact with humans.

So for his twenty fifth birthday, he wished for some company.


	2. I don't give a sh!t, I don't give a f***

Yoongi's POV 

I readjusted my bag and ran a hand through my hair. Walking through the streets of Seoul really gives you a weird feeling. Everyone there looks so detached, cold and tired. 

But who am I to judge? I probably look worse. 

After I left my parent's house in Daegu, I got my sh*t and went to Seoul. 

I'm still trying to decide if it's the best decision I've made or the worst. See my dream is to make music and my parents didn't exactly like it, so here I am. 

I'm not giving up on my dream for anyone. 

Yeah I may have said some stuff to them before I left...something along the lines of ' I don't give a f**k what you think ' and yeah I may have been lying. 

Nothing hurts more than not getting support from the two most important people in your life. 

My father said I wouldn't make it and that I would come crawling back, crying to mom. 

I just wish they could accept me.


	3. You Can Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poor baby :(

~~~~Jung Hoseok's only problem was that he favored people's happiness on his own. He was made for making everyone happy. He was supposed to be a sunshine, a bright person that brought joy into people's life.

 

So why couldn't he bring happiness into his own life? Why wasn't he genuinely smiling like everyone else? Even his own parents thought that he was happy. They support him and love him, and Hoseok couldn't bring himself to worry them with his own problems.

 

Seeing as it was in his nature to help and since he wanted anyone he met to smile ( if only for a short period of time ) he works at a hospital in Seoul as a nurse.

Of coarse, he was known as 'the guy who's always laughing' If only they knew.

 

 

Hoseok wished for just one person..to see him for who he really is.


	4. Tell Me That Everything Gonna Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poor baby x2 :(

Namjoon's POV

 

I feel like my head is going to explode. The bright lights and the loud music weren't helping at all.Maybe choosing to be a DJ as a career was a stupid idea like my mom said. Maybe I'm stupid. Actually that can never be true, I have an IQ of 148 mind you. 

 

Yes that rhymed, I'm not a rapper for nothing.

 

The club I work at is called 'Hard carry' and it's one of the most famous clubs in Seoul -if not the most famous- sometimes the lines are so long, the club closes before the line even reaches the middle. The owner is a good friend of mine called Jackson, hence me having the job in the first place.

Of coarse it's %99 talent, but I have to admit..he could've chosen anyone else beside me. Gotta thank his loyalty right?

On some days when I feel like it, I go up stage and rap some songs I've written, but most days I'm just the DJ.

I'm really thankful for the life I have okay? I have decent pay and I'm living happily, however...sometimes it all gets a little too much.

Sometimes I just want to fill my bathtub and drown in it, I just...

I wish I could love myself.


	5. Busan Prince

Park Jimin had it all. 

The looks, the money and the status anyone would dream of. 

He was like a fairytale prince. A Busan prince. 

However, he let it all go to pursue his dreams. He wanted to open up a dance studio and teach people how to dance. After all, it was his passion. 

His parents supported him fully, they loved their son with all of their being. He was a perfect angel ever since he was born, so they thought they could reward him with opening his studio for him. 

Jimin yet again, surprised them. He told them the day they offered to give him the money for his studio, "Eomma, Appa...I really appreciate your offer and I couldn't be more lucky to have parents like you, but...I want to work for my dream. I don't want it to be handed to me on a silver plate. I want to move to Seoul, find a job and open my studio with the money I worked for" 

It was safe to say they were both shocked into silence. 

So he did move to Seoul, and boy did he regret it.   
The moment he stepped out of the train, he was met with cold looking faces. Nothing like the people from Busan...

In his hometown, everyone was friendly. People smiled at each other even if they didn't know one another. It was what made Jimin such a kind hearted person. A prince fit to rule a kingdom. 

He took a small loan from his parents ( that he swore he'll give back ) just enough so he can find a place to spend the night, and in the morning he'll start bright and early to look for a job. 

Jimin had high hopes and nothing will crush them, not even the detached people of Seoul.


	6. why did you do that to me back then?

If you asked his family about him, they would answer you in one word.

Troublesome. 

That was why, Kim Taehyung was sent off to live with his uncle in Seoul. He had bad attitude, short temper and could get into a fight in a matter of seconds. 

The only two things that could calm his temper down were drawing and taking pictures. He was damn good at it too. His art was widely known. 

His uncle says that he's a good kid, and that's probably why Taehyung likes him the most out of his whole family. 

The boy knows he shouldn't have so much anger issues, he just doesn't know how to voice his feelings, which gets him frustrated to no end. 

He tried telling that to his parents once, he didn't do a very good job, leading to them saying they didn't get it. You can probably guess what happened next.

Really, it was a never ending cycle. 

Taehyung wished he was normal, he really did.

Or at least...he wished someone would make him feel normal.


	7. Golden Jeon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol Jungkook is going to be emo

Jeon Jungkook is a twenty year old college kid.

 

Now, he wasn't your regular college student, oh no. He was special, he was unique, he was the golden boy of his family.

 

At family gatherings all you could hear was, "Jungkook is so polite" , "Aish you lazy brat! Why can't you be like Jungkook? He does sports!" , "Ah Jungkookie what a smart boy, I'm sure you'll make your parents proud"

It was always Jungkook this, Jungkook that. Even his cousins hated him because they were always nagged at for not being as great as Jungkook.

 

He got sick of it. They didn't know how stressed he was because of their words. Everyday he has to get up and make sure he's perfect at everything he does. He knows he has to make zero mistakes. But it's so, so hard.

He feels pressured all the time, for fu**'s sake the boy didn't get to live his teenage years like all teenagers do.

Instead, he was stuck in his room, studying to get the best grades. Training in gyms to have a fit body. Cutting on junk food to have the perfect health. He didn't have any hobbies..he only knew studying. He didn't have any friends, since everyone at school thought he was a teacher's pet and a nerd.

His youth was snatched away right from his grasp.

Currently he was in Seoul studying in the most prestigious college there was

( courtesy of his loving parents that wanted the best for their son )

 

His only wish was to relive his teenage years, even if it was impossible..he wanted to try and he was _going to_ try.


	8. Don't Worry

Seokjin's POV

"Code gray, code gray report to bed three immediately" I groaned and slammed my head on the table in front of me. 

Can't a guy catch a break here? 

I got up and walked out of the break room, feeling the headache that was starting to fade, come back. 

"Dr.Kim! Thank God you're here" Dr.Park said and I furrowed my eyebrows. What do they expect me to do? Stop the patient from going berserk? Jeez. 

"What's wrong?" She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a bed that was surrounded by security. 

Must be bed three. 

"This" I saw a young looking boy, thrashing around the bed, screaming and cursing ( some of these words I've actually never heard before ). 

"Son please calm down! You're going to hurt yourself even more" Two male nurses were trying to hold him down, but the boy panicked even more. The heart monitor was beeping like crazy. 

"DONT TOUCH(u) ME" He screamed and I noticed tears streaming down his face. 

For some reason, my heart ached for him. 

"Shouldn't we sedate him?!" One of the nurses yelled and the other quickly shouted, "No!" 

"Can't afford the needle going somewhere it doesn't belong" The one who I decided was smart said. 

I walked over to his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down...we won't hurt you" 

"Don't fu**ing touch me" He yelled and I sighed. 

"Fine, let go of him" I said and they stared at me like I was crazy. 

"Just trust me!" I looked at them expectedly and they hesitatingly let go of him. The boy immediately made a move to stand up, but since he was passed out for the whole day he almost fell face forward. 

I caught him though...I didn't need more injuries to treat. 

"You okay now?" I asked and he shoved me off. He was swaying and looked like he was about to throw up at any second. 

"Please calm down. You're tired and putting up a fight won't help you at all" He looked so terrified, like he was waiting for us to hurt him. 

Why?

The boy wiped at his eyes frantically as if to stop the tears and looked down. 

"C-can I please go?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, but a man brought you in, said that you were passed out on the sidewalk. Do you remember that?" I said and his eyes widened in what I assumed was realization. 

"Yeah..." 

"How did you feel before that happened?" I asked and he looked at his feet.

"I....I remember feeling really dizzy and nauseous. My heart was beating really fast and..uh I couldn't breathe properly" 

"When was the last time you had a glass of water?" I said and he furrowed his eyebrows. I waited for about a minute and sighed.

"That's not good If it takes you that long to remember" I crossed my arms and glanced at the smart nurse.

"You're Jung Hoseok right?" I asked and he smiled then nodded. 

Woah, everyone was right about his smile. It was like the sun came up in the middle of the night.

"Well, I need you to prepare a urine test for Mr.grumpy here and could you please check his blood pressure for me?" I asked and he nodded with the same smile.

"Of coarse! Well you heard him folks, please leave so I can do my work" Dr.Park and the other doctor who was doing a very sh!tty job, along with the other nurse stepped back so Hoseok could move around freely. 

"Wait! I'm o-okay...I don't need anything" The blond haired boy seemed about two seconds away from having a panic attack and I sighed for the millionth time today. 

"You're probably severely dehydrated. That's really dangerous kid, so please after Hoseok-ah checks your blood pressure, don't struggle and take a urine test. Okay?" I said and I think I saw the hint of a blush on his pale cheeks. 

"Okay"

^^^^^^^^

Unfortunately for Yoongi ( his name that I learned after checking the health files ) he has to stay for two more days. His body is so dry I'm surprised he isn't dead yet. I'm not even exaggerating. I mean...how do you forget to drink water? 

His blood pressure was low and his urine sample was darker than usual. 

"So it's just dehydration? And I have to stay for two more days?" He asked and I nodded.

"But I'm fine now! I'll just drink lots of water" 

"Ah you can't do that...your body isn't used to getting plenty of water like it normally should. If you take excessive amounts of water suddenly, your body will reject it and you'll end up throwing it all up" I explained and he groaned then fell on the pillows placed behind him. 

"This sucks" He mumbled and I laughed.

"Don't worry, you'll have me and Hoseok-ah as company. We're not that bad are we?" I said with a bright smile and could see a blush coating his cheeks. 

"I guess..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what happened to Yoongs :'( poor soul. Idek guys are you liking this? I just uploaded 8 chapters in the same day..I think I'm crazy. Anyways, I will continue to upload once I see some comments! I wanna make sure peeps are reading this lol. Oh and by the way, from this point forward the chapters are going to get longer! I hope you like it :D.


	9. Paint me a flower path

JungKook's POV

"Good morning everyone" Mr.Kim our principle walked into our lecture room and I furrowed my eyebrows.

What happened now? Did someone die at our college? God I hope so, that way we can at least get a day or two to rest..

"I was told that you guys have been working nonstop, so I decided to give you a little reward" People around me cheered and I couldn't stop the small smile from making it's way onto my face. Hey look, he's being nice for a change! Ah I wonder what happened to him today? Maybe his wife gave him head for the first time in forever?

"Today you won't have any classes" Another round of applause, "But..the class you were supposed to have right now is going to be changed to something else" the applause and claps turned to groans, making me roll my eyes. Sheesh they can't be pleased.

"Oh cut your whining, you'll have the rest of the day to yourselves. Anyways, today we brought someone very special, he's a great artist and a great photographer. He's going to present to you some of his artwork and he's going to share his story with all of you. Please welcome..V" My jaw fell open and the whole room erupted in cheers.

Oh God, he doesn't mean V as in the V right? Because if he did I'm going to faint.

one  ~~the only thing actually~~ of the things I got into when I moved to Seoul was art, especially V's. I admit I'm a bit of a fanboy. You can't blame me though, his photographs and paintings are mind blowing.

The door opened and in walked V.

He had a bandana wrapped around his forehead, probably to keep his brown bangs out of his eyes.

He faced us, smiled then bowed.

"Hello, how is everyone today?" To say I was surprised would be an understatement. His voice was deeper than the Pacific Ocean's deepest point.

I'm shook. ~~or JuNgsHoOk..hehe~~

People murmured responses and to be honest I found it weird that he asked that in the first place. What if nobody answered him? That would've been embarrassing right? Speaking of embarrassing things, I remember I once tripped in class and everyone laughed. I did too. ~~I had tears streaming down my face though,~~ my eyes were sweaty for some reason. 

"So today, I came here to share a little story with you, now trust me I'm not going to tell you never to give up on your dream or whatever cliché stuff you hear these days. I'm going to tell you a story about how my parents actually got sick of me and sent me to my Uncle's" He smiled and managed to get a few chuckles from the people in the room.

I was intrigued already, but it may be due to the fact that I'm his fanboy.

"When little V was born into this world, his parents thought he was the most precious baby their eyes ever landed on. They loved him with every ounce of their being, however as he got older..their love for him faded until it ceased to exist. You're probably wondering what's the reason for that right?" We hummed and nodded eagerly for him to continue.

I don't get how anyone wouldn't love him or at least like him.

Also he's hot.

"Well, when I was a baby I couldn't talk.....obviously" They laughed and I rolled my eyes. Is this his attempt at humor?

"As I grew up, I started to get moody. Everyone thought it was puberty, hell! Even I thought I was going through puberty. Turns out that it wasn't. My attitude kept getting worse and I got angrier by each second, leading to my parents sending me away to live with my uncle"

This is so stupid! Who would send their own kid away just because they couldn't control their anger?!

"To be honest with you...I can't explain my feelings or talk about them and that made me feel really angry and upset. Every time I tried to put what I'm feeling into words, someone would get offended. I would say something very stupid that I would regret saying later on, so I resorted to the only thing I'm good at. Drawing. When I felt like I was on the verge of breaking someone's neck, I would go to my room without uttering a single world, grab my sketchbook and draw. I would keep drawing until I felt calm again. Another thing that calmed me down was photography. Something about capturing the most beautiful moments in life in a picture mesmerized me, you know? So I had these two things to count on whenever my patience started running out. And to be honest? I'm grateful that my parents sent me away because if they didn't, I wouldn't have become who I am today" As he finished his speech people got up -including me- and clapped for him.

If he wasn't inspiring then I don't know what inspiration is anymore.

"Guys I appreciate it, but why are you clapping? We haven't reached the moral of the story yet!" The whole lecture room burst out in laughter and V had the cutest boxy smile I've ever seen in my entire life.

"Okay...so who can tell me the moral of the story? Or whatever it is you felt after you heard my story"

"That we should find hobbies and make careers out of it" One girl said and V laughed before nodding to her.

"Okay good, what else?"

"That the greatest artists are the ones who suffered the most" Some guy yelled causing V to nod with an impressed face.

"That should actually be a quote, I like it" I smiled before raising my hand shyly. I think I can feel my heart trying to break out of my chest.

Wait, what happened to Jeon that doesn't give a fu**? I thought I'm in that phase now..

His eyes landed on me and he smiled brightly, "Yes?"

"Umm...I think, what you wanted us to get through your story is that..we should find the things that calm us down and make us feel at ease and hold onto it, so that when we need comfort, we can find it through these things" With each word I said his smile got bigger and bigger.

"What's your name kid?" He asked and I felt my cheeks get hotter. Code red, code fu**ing red. Jungkook, get ahold of yourself! You don't give a f*** remember? Okay, it's just your name! You just talked for a minute and didn't mess up! You can't mess up your own name right? Right

"J-Jeon Jungkook" But you can stutter like an idiot.

"Well, Jungkook-ah..I'm glad you got what I've been trying to say" My eyes widened and for once in my life I was glad for the ' golden boy ' superpower.

Classmates started whispering around me and I resisted the urge to groan.

"He's so full of himself"

Just like you're full of sh!t.

"Does he need to suck up to everyone?"

Lord help me before I cut a b!tch up in here.

"Like your brilliant classmate said, you should find the things or the people or even the places that calm you. Whenever you're going through hard times, you should have something that'll make you forget about your problems if only for a short time. Cause trust me, nothing feels greater than having something to turn to when you're down...that is if you're like me and can't express your feelings for shi- uhh I mean...yup never mind" I smiled as he looked at the ground with red cheeks. Ha, he's cute.

"So! Who wants to see some art?" Everyone started cheering and his boxy smile returned.

"Come with me then"

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

The room we walked into had various paintings and pictures hung on the walls and if we were in cartoons my jaw would be on the floor right now.

How can a twenty two year old guy be this amazing? My cousin is twenty two and he's a disgusting sh!t that

V stood in the center of the room and observed the students who were chatting excitedly about the paintings.

Well, a certain group of girls were talking about how ' hot ' he is and how they would ' tots bang '

I just shook my head and walked further away from them.

"Hi" I looked behind me and saw V smiling at me.

To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

"H-hi" My favorite artist in the world is talking to me.

Is this a dream?

"Would you like to grab coffee after this? My treat"

Oh man, holy s*it.

"Huh? Really?" I asked and he nodded with a laugh.

"Yeah really"

"Okay yeah sure!"

What I didn't know is that by agreeing, my wish to relive my teenage years was going to come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'wait for comments' my ass, I'm too excited for this fic lolol. Anyways, be my friend on twitter! It's @squishy_hopemon I'll wait for ya :3. Thx for reading this shittu story~


	10. Give me your hand and save me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy found his eyes wandering to Hoseok's hands. They looked soft, big, comforting and Yoongi found himself wanting to hold it for some reason.
> 
> The rapper was surprised at his own thoughts. 
> 
> Wasn't he scared of people touching him? So why does he want to hold Hoseok's hands so bad? 
> 
> "I....um...." 
> 
> "It's okay if you don't want to say it! I understand, I just want to help you is all.." Hoseok admits he was worried about the young boy. The glint in his eyes was the same glint Hoseok had when no one was looking. 
> 
> That glint that begged someone to be noticed. 
> 
> The glint that screamed 'SAVE ME'

 

"Good morning Yoongi-yah" The door opened and in walked cheerful Hoseok. 

 

"Mhmm" Yoongi glanced at his smiling face and wondered...how could someone be this happy? 

"I brought you breakfast" He pushed a tray like thingy above Yoongi's bed and the boy furrowed his eyebrows at the...thing that's supposed to be food. One bowl had white gooey substance that Yoongi assumed was oatmeal. Another small plate had two slices of toasted ( burnt actually ) bread, and the final plate had a salad that looked to be two years old. The lettuce was almost black, the cucumber was wrinkled ( Yoongi is thoroughly disgusted, he just had images in his head and they are NOT appetizing ) and the small cut up tomatoes that should've been fresh and red, seemed like someone chewed it and spit it out into his plate. 

"Um...Hoseok-ssi...what is this supposed to be?" He asked and Hoseok laughed loudly. 

 

"Don't worry, I sneaked you a little something..just don't tell anyone okay? It's our secret" He whispered as he pulled various snacks out of his pockets and Yoongi couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. Something about the nurse just made Yoongi comfortable. The usually cold, blank faced Min Yoongi was actually smiling at another human being. 

The younger feels as if he met his soul partner, and yes he knows it's stupid because hell! He didn't talk to Hoseok for more than a day, but sometimes...you just know these things. 

"Ya know...I like your laugh! You should definitely laugh more" Hoseok smiled warmly at the blond haired boy and found himself wondering, why was he so scared when he first woke up? 

"Yoongi-yah can I ask you a question?" Yoongi tensed up, sensing the question that's he's about to be asked. Dreading having to lie to Hoseok. 

And again Yoongi doesn't really know Hoseok, however he felt bad that he had to lie to him. He felt as if the older trusted him even though he doesn't know a thing about Yoongi. 

"You already did" Hoseok giggled ( fu**ing giggled ) and sat down on the chair next to his patients bed. Hoseok rested his elbows on his knees and gazed up at Yoongi in thought. 

"Okay, can I ask you two questions?" 

"Mhmm" 

"Why were you so scared when you woke up? You kept screaming and crying and...it really broke my heart. Did something happen to you?" Yoongi's breath hitched and he avoided looking at Hoseok.  He knew he would be asked this, it always happens. Especially when he has an episode in a public bathroom and someone just happens to enter. 

The boy found his eyes wandering to Hoseok's hands. They looked soft, big, comforting and Yoongi found himself wanting to hold it for some reason.

The rapper was surprised at his own thoughts. 

Wasn't he scared of people touching him? So why does he want to hold Hoseok's hands so bad? 

"I....um...." 

"It's okay if you don't want to say it! I understand, I just want to help you is all.." Hoseok admits he was worried about the young boy. The glint in his eyes was the same glint Hoseok had when no one was looking. 

That glint that begged someone to be noticed. 

The glint that screamed 'SAVE ME' 

Yoongi sighed before shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts.

I can't lie to him...I just can't. 

"I...one day..I was walking back from my job as a barista and...some guy just p-pushed me into an alley a-and he..." The young boy couldn't continue talking. Tears were streaming down his face without him realizing. 

Hoseok felt his heart break ( what was left of it anyways ) 

"Hey it's okay it's okay" The nurse didn't hesitate to grab Yoongi's hand and holding it tightly as if he's never letting him go. The younger just clutched into Hoseok's hands, feeling warmth spread all over him.  
Even though he was struggling to breathe and tears were blurring his vision..Hoseok anchored him. 

It was crazy how attached Yoongi had gotten to Hoseok from just three hours. 

"I-i recognized the guy, he was always flirting with me and I told him multiple times that I was straight and that I wasn't interested b-but he didn't g-get it" Hoseok couldn't believe people like him actually existed. Was he even considered a human? Who would even want to hurt this precious marshmallow? He's so small and adorable, why would you want to hurt him? 

"Do you know his name? That bastard needs to get what he deserves" He watched as the youngest's eyes widened in horror. 

"N-no! What if he comes back again and does something worse hyung?" Hoseok tried to ignore how his heart warmed at the word ' Hyung ' and focused on squeezing Yoongi's hand. The boy whom he swore to protect from this passing moment. 

"Yoongi, I won't let anything happen to you. That's a promise" 

"Where are you living Yoongi?" The older asked and Yoongi sighed, "I live in a motel" 

"Will you move in with me?" Yoongi's eyes widened at Hoseok's offer before he shook his head. 

"But you don't know me! I could be lying to you and I could be a serial kille-"

"Are you?" Hoseok offered a smile and Yoongi's heart monitor started beeping faster than usual. How can a simple smile do this to me? His smile could brighten the world. Hoseok just emitted happiness. It made Yoongi want to stick to his side at all times. 

"No" the blond haired boy mumbled, avoiding to look at the other. 

A warm hand landed on his chest, where his heart was. 

"Your heart is beating like crazy, let me call Dr.Kim-"

"No! It's....um" Yoongi's cheeks flushed red as he realized what he was about to say. What? Should he say 'oh no it's just your smile fu**ed me up'

"What?" Another beautiful smile was directed his way and Yoongi groaned. 

"It's nothing" 

Hoseok laughed before ruffling Yoongi's hair with his free hand. 

"You'll move in with me as soon as you're discharged, sounds good?" 

"Yeah.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok wastes no time lolol. Also poor Yoongi :(. One of my big OTP's in bangtan are Yoonseok/sope. Yoongi just has the softest spot for Hobi and I love it haha. So, today I removed two of my teeth and I don't even know how I got this out...lol I feel drunk ಠ_ಠ. I hope you liked this chapter! I will try to upload another one on Tuesday <3 follow me on my twitter: @Squishy_hopemon


	11. Wanna hear a joke?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brown haired boy looked around and noticed a tall broad shouldered man scanning the different kinds of fish. He looks experienced enough, maybe he should just ask him?
> 
> Well, Jungkook was really shy and doesn't know how to start a conversation with a stranger, scratch that. Anyone for that matter. And what if that dude was a serial killer? What if he was buying fish to choke someone with it?!! or-or maybe beat someone up?!! Won't Jungkook be his next victim?! Oh God he's going to die by a fish. He can already see the headlines!
> 
> College boy dies beaten up by a fish, but that's okay nobody really cared about him.
> 
> Yup, Jungkook doesn't want to die, no thank you. Even if nobody cares, he loves himself and still wants to live. Not even Taehyung's stupid shrimps can drive him to his death.

Jungkook was officially _done_.

 

Taehyung gave him a list of groceries and he was supposed to be back an hour ago, but this place is like a damn maze! See, Jungkookie here made the worst decision ~~not really~~ by moving in with Taehyung.

 

After four months of meeting up, talking and hanging out. The boys got so close, the oldest asked him to move in.Now, Jungkook is being enslaved.

 

_One bag of shrimp_

 

Now how the fu** was Jungkook supposed to know which brand to take? What if Taehyung didn't like the one he chooses and tells him to go back?

Oh why don't you just kill Jungkook already.

The boy miserably walked to the fish aisle and stood in front of the shrimp. The chill from the freezer made him pull his sweater sleeve until it was covering his hands.

There was different kinds of shrimp, from small ones to huge ones. About six or seven brands? There was blue bags, yellow bags and red bags. Jungkook was very confused at this point. Why the hell was there so many brands? Couldn't people be satisfied by just one? God. Everyone's so hard to please these days..

The brown haired boy looked around and noticed a tall broad shouldered man scanning the different kinds of fish. He looks experienced enough, maybe he should just ask him?

Well, Jungkook was really shy and doesn't know how to start a conversation with a stranger, scratch that. Anyone for that matter. And what if that dude was a serial killer? What if he was buying fish to choke someone with it?!! or-or maybe beat someone up?!! Won't Jungkook be his next victim?! Oh God he's going to die by a fish. He can already see the headlines!

> _**College boy dies beaten up by a fish, but that's okay nobody really cared about him.** _

Yup, Jungkook doesn't want to die, no thank you. Even if nobody cares, he loves himself and still wants to live. Not even Taehyung's stupid shrimps can drive him to his death. 

"Um..excuse me? Is something wrong?" The broad shouldered man asked and Jungkook's eyes widened.

He had a deer caught in headlights expression on his face. The other man looked like he was about to burst out in laughter.

"Uhhhh...no? Nothing is wrong? W-why do you ask?" Maybe he should call Taehyung? He'll protect him right? He's used to getting in fights, he knows how to fight. Jungkook is going into panic mode and nobody likes a panicky Jungkook.

"You've been staring at me for the past three minutes?"

Oh. That's why.

Jungkook sheepishly laughed and scratched his neck nervously, "See...um...my friend asked me to buy some groceries and I really don't know which brand of shrimp to get, I thought you might recommend me something good?" Okay just breathe kookie, nothing will happen. He looks nice enough ( and Jungkook means that both ways, the man was handsome )

 

"Ah well, this one here is pretty good. It isn't too big or too small and it tastes really good if you fry it or cook it" The handsome man grabbed a blue bag, offering it to Jungkook, who took it gratefully.

"Wah thank you so much hyung, you saved me" Yet again the blond man smiled at him and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, do you need any help with the rest of your groceries? It looks like you didn't get anything except for the shrimp" Jungkook blushed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Fu** you Kim Taehyung.

"This place is like a damn maze! If I turn into an aisle it's not the one I need. if I go out, surprise I'm in the same one I was in two seconds ago" Jungkook finishes his rant and the man laughs loudly.

Jungkook was very surprised. The man sounded like he was wiping windshield, and no he isn't being mean. His laugh is kinda funny. Makes you wanna laugh too.

"What's your name?" The man asks.

"Jeon Jungkook" The boy bowed respectfully and smiled.

 

"I'm Kim Seokjin, nice to meet you Jungkook-ah" Seokjin bowed and smiled back, before grabbing his own cart, ushering for Jungkook to follow him.

"First, let's see your list"

_A plate of eggs_

_Lettuce_

_One bag of shrimp_

_A bag of rice_

_Sesame oil_

_That snack you like so much for some reason ( it's disgusting Jeon I don't know how you eat it :/ )_

Seokjin laughed at the last part making Jungkook scowl.

"What's the snack he's talking about?"

"If you agree with him after I tell you, I'm leaving" The older laughed yet again and nodded, "I promise I won't offend you or your snack by saying I don't like it" Jungkook cracked a small smile, but still tried to keep up his scowl.

 

"It's honey butter chips-" as soon as the word left Jungkook's mouth, the older gasped.

"Who the hell doesn't like honey butter chips? God...did you try it with Dr.Pepper? It's basically the combination of heaven"

Jungkook was about ready to hug Seokjin until the day he dies. "Yes!! It's the best thing ever, the way- oh just a second" Jungkook's rant was interrupted as his phone started ringing. Bigbang's *If you* filling the entire shop with the soft music.

"Hello? Oh Tae, no thanks to you I had to ask someone for help- what do you mean I'm an idiot? Dude this place is like a maze! Sorry Hyung. Yup, no I won't forget anything, who the fu** do you think I am? You? No, Sorry Hyung. Yes I'm a bad boy.....fu**ing weirdo....hm? No, I didn't say anything. Yes okay, I'll be back before the world ends- aish a**hole" At that point Seokjin was doubled over, tears escaping his eyes from how much he was laughing.

 

"It's not good to laugh at other's misery hyung" Jungkook pouted and crossed his arms. Seokjin wanted to grab the boy and squish him in a hug. He's so cute, almost like a bunny.

 

"No, no I just remembered a joke" The older smirked and continued pushing his cart, throwing various snacks inside.

"That is?"

 

"It's a joke about construction" Jungkook hummed and glanced at Seokjin.

 

"I'm still working on it though" And cue Seokjin's shield wiper laugh. Jungkook stared ahead, face palmed and walked away. 

 

"Hey hey wait, Jungkookie! I have another one" They were walking side by side again, stopping in front of the eggs. Grabbing two packs, one for him and one for Jungkook. He says, "Wanna hear a joke about paper?"

Oh God. Jungkook can see it from a mile away, but who was he to ruin Seokjin's fun?

"What is it Hyung?" The youngest had a smile playing on his face as he put the eggs in the cart.

"Never mind, it's tearable" And again with the laugh, "Oh my God hyung"

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese" This time Jungkook couldn't handle it and he crouched on the floor, his body shaking from laughter. Seokjin's laugh definitely didn't make anything easier. An old lady passed by and gave them disapproving looks, which made the pair laugh even harder.

 

Jungkook has never had this much fun with someone he just met. Usually the people he meets hate him, being the golden boy he is. Ever since childhood, his cousins disliked him, even people at school thought he was a goody-two shoes. To meet someone new and not be hated is weird for Jungkook. He likes it though. He likes Seokjin.

 

"Come on kid, let's get the rest of your stuff so your roommate doesn't kill you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay mom and son finally meet :D!! Btw I'm sorry for this chapter and the dad jokes in it! I just had to ya know? Seokjin isn't Seokjin without his dad jokes XD. Also did u catch the mystic messenger hints in there ;)? Eh? Eh? 
> 
> Hope you liked this everyone! IM OUT ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(•-•)┘


	12. Born Singer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "PARK JI-MIN PARK JI-MIN" As the boy got off stage, hearing people chant his name over and over, happiness was all he could feel. 
> 
> Honestly he was so happy he could cry.

Jimin was nervous, in fact saying that was an understatement. 

Today....he was going to perform in the biggest and most famous club in Seoul, and no! He's not just going to dance, he'll sing. 

For a while now, he's been saving up from his work as a waiter and bought a nice camera and speakers. He went around Seoul, filming himself dancing to other Kpop group songs like EXO and Big Bang, then uploading it to YouTube. 

He was getting a lot of support. 

One day he decided to try singing a cover and uploading it. To his complete and utter surprise, the video blew up. The song he chose was ' We don't talk anymore ' by an American artist. He thought maybe that's why people were so impressed. 

However, when the owner of 'hard carry' club Jackson contacted him and asked him to perform, he realized; I'm actually on the path to make my dream come true. 

The song he was performing tonight is 'Eyes, Nose, Lips'  by Taeyang. Jimin thought he did a good job on the choreography, but he still couldn't feel at ease. 

What if he messed up? His whole career ( if he had one to begin with ) would be over! 

The pink haired boy sighed and decided that sulking around all day wasn't going to help, so he chose his outfit for the performance and hoped for the best. 

Fighting Jimin!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jimin was escorted into the club by a security guard and he honestly felt like an idol. As he walked in, he realized the club lived up to its name. 

Backstage was huge, with wires and switches everywhere! He wondered what it'd be like inside the club. Well...he'll find out in a bit right? 

"Park Jimin?" The boy looked up at a blond man who was holding two mic's in his hands.

"Yes that's me" The other male smiled showing the dimples in his cheeks and Jimin admits he wanted to poke them. 

"I'm Kim Namjoon, or Rap Monster" The pink haired boy widened his eyes and felt the nerves he managed to get rid of, come back ten times worse. 

"Y-you're Rap Monster?" 

"Yes that's me" Rapmon mimicked Jimin and resisted the urge to laugh. Jimin was looking at him like he held the moon in his hands.

"I would love to stand here and chat all day I really would, but how about we do that after your show?" Rapmon offered a warm smile to the younger who just nodded his head. 

"Okay where do I go?" The dancer asked, feeling adrenaline start to rush into him. This was it. He has to make this count, he has to do his best. 

"Follow me" 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"PARK JI-MIN PARK JI-MIN" As the boy got off stage, hearing people chant his name over and over, happiness was all he could feel. 

Honestly he was so happy he could cry. 

"Wow that was quite a show wasn't it?" Rapmon asked the crowd outside who just replied with more screaming. 

"Now hold on we aren't done yet! Tonight we have two more talented rappers. It's up to you to decide who's the best. Please welcome, Agust D and B-Free" Jimin saw a pale boy with bleached hair walk towards the stairs that led to the stage, and he couldn't help but look with awe at him. 

Which one is that? B-Free or Agust D?

Rapmonsted walked off stage and headed towards Jimin with a smile. 

"You were awesome! It's like you were born to be a singer" Jimin could feel his cheeks burn as he glanced at the ground.

"Thank you" A hand ruffled his pink hair making the boy whine. 

His hair was already messy, he didn't need it to be messier! 

"Um Rapmon-ssi who's Agust D and who's B-Free?"  The younger asked. 

"See the short one with blond hair? That's Agust D and the other one is obviously B-free" Jimin hummed. 

"Who do you think'll win?" Rapmon tapped his chin a few times in a thinking manner before snapping his fingers.

"Agust D, have you heard his sh!t? I felt like I was being dissed even though it wasn't about me" Jimin laughed and nodded.

"Oh they're starting! Listen and be impressed Jimin-ssi" 

And impressed Jimin was.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yoongi wished that this so called B-Free was a challenge. Not like all the others who he ended in one round. 

Yoongi sighed as he got off stage, seeing Rap monster and a pink haired boy standing next to him. They both looked like they were witnessing God walk down from stage. 

Well, what could Yoongi say? He's a genius. 

"That was fu**ing fire ( ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ )" Rap monster said and Yoongi nodded at him. 

"T-that was really dope ( ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ )" And yet again Yoongi nodded. 

He just wanted to go home, shower and wait for Hoseok to come back so they can cuddle and watch a movie. 

Yes, Yoongi is very attached to Hoseok. 

Yoongi for once was glad he didn't take care of his health. He met such a caring person with a beautiful soul, and he's never been this grateful. 

"Are you leaving already?" Rap monster asked and Yoongi nodded for the third time. 

"Why don't you stay for a bit? Have some drinks with us" The pink haired boy gave him an eye smile and Yoongi found his lips twitching upwards involuntary. 

"Okay sure" 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was wild. 

The club was packed, bodies were pressed against each other, grinding, dancing. 

Yoongi was just glad he was up in the VIP area and not down there. He would've had a panic attack if he was. 

"I'm Park Jimin" The pink haired boy said, offering another eye smile. 

"Min Yoongi" 

"Here guys" Rapmon placed sets of differently colored drinks that just screamed 'HANGOVER' 

Jimin wasn't sure he should drink it. 

Yoongi grabbed a green one and downed it in one shot. 

"Ooh damn, your turn Jimin-ssi" The dimpled boy smiled innocently at Jimin. He didn't spike the drinks or whatever, they're just really strong and from the looks of the pink haired boy.....let's just say he won't be able to handle it. 

As expected, Jimin grabbed a pink one and tried downing it in one shot. Key word being try. The poor boy ended up choking and coughing till his face turned red. 

All the while, the two idiots who were supposed to help him were laughing their heads off. 

"O-oh my God, y-you didn't have to do it like Yoongi-ssi. Are you okay?" Rapmon said in between laughs and Jimin just stared ahead with blank eyes. Cheeks red from embarrassment. If you ask Jimin though, he'll tell you it's from how much he coughed. Not embarrassed nope, not at all. 

"I thought I was going to die" They were thrown into another laughing fit and Yoongi honestly thinks his drink was spiked. 

Yoongi doesn't laugh this much, he doesn't find people's company pleasant. This is Min Yoongi, not Jung Hoseok who loved interacting with everyone. Who laughs at everything, even Jin's dad jokes. ( yes he told lots of them when he was in the hospital ) 

Hoseok must be really rubbing off on him. 

"How old are you anyways?" Yoongi asked. The boy actually looks very young, but Yoongi doubted they would let him in if he was under twenty right? 

"Twenty two" 

"I'm your Hyung then" 

"Me too" 

Jimin just groaned. 

 

At the end of the night, Jimin walked out with two new numbers saved in his phone. 

Today was a good day. He finally had friends ( fu**ing cool as hell friends ) in this detached city. 

Jimin felt like everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that was shittu? Idk I'm not all too happy with this chapter :/. Hope you enjoyed it. I'm on my way to the dentist  
>  ( fml ) and because I'm super lucky I'm getting two more pulled out :). Don't worry I'll still have enough teeth to look like a normal human being ahahahahahahahahahahhahaha. It's really not funny I'm just miserable. I'm out (^.^)


	13. Wow you're a dork

Today Namjoon decided that he would get up early and head to the coffee shop near his house. He's only visited once or twice, and every time was damn delicious. 

He read somewhere that if you want to feel happier you should change up your routine. So he got up, took a shower, got dressed, opened the windows and headed out. Making sure not to forget his keys or wallet. 

He put his headphones on and hummed along with the music blasting through his ears. When he was listening to music, everything around him disappeared. It was only him and the melodies. It kept him inside a bubble, one where he felt safe. He couldn't hear his dark thoughts, and he couldn't think about how much he wanted to die. 

He sighed as he opened the shop's door and maybe he was too engrossed in his music. Because next thing he knows, he slammed into someone, knocking himself and the person on the floor. 

In any normal situation ( this was pretty normal for the boy, he's Kim Namjoon, nicknamed God of destruction ) he would've helped the stranger up and apologized. 

Right now, Namjoon couldn't concentrate on anything except the heat on his chest, and oh did it hurt. 

It hurt like a b!tch. 

"Oh f**k I'm sorry, here come on" The stranger pulled Namjoon up and pulled him towards the restrooms. 

"It's fine I'm okay-"

"No you're not, this could be a second degree burn. The coffee was scalding hot" Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows at the stranger. How could he assume that? 

"Take your shirt off" 

Okay, now he was officially confused. Do people nowadays go around asking others to take their shirts off? He didn't even know the man! 

"Um what?" 

"I'm a doctor, please take your shirt off so I can see if you're burned?" Namjoon oh'd loudly before slowly taking his shirt off. 

"Aish...I was right, it's definitely a second degree burn. How are you even standing there so calmly?" Upon further inspection, the man was really handsome. Namjoon doesn't think he's seen someone this beautiful before. 

Was he lying? I think he's a model. 

"Are you there?" A hand was waved in front of his face and Namjoon snapped out of his thoughts. 

"I'm sorry what?" 

"Ugh, let's just get you to the hospital. I'm Kim Seokjin by the way" 

Pretty name for a pretty face. 

"Kim Namjoon" 

"Come on, we better hurry" 

Namjoon nodded and started walking out of the bathroom only for a hand to stop him. 

"I'm sorry, but are you drunk?" Seokjin said with a look that said 'unbelievable' 

"What? Why?" The younger asked, feeling somewhat offended. Seokjin's face made it better though. 

"You're shirtless Namjoon-ssi" 

If you asked Namjoon, he would say it was the burn. He was definitely NOT blushing. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The DJ had three things to say. First, he's never ever going outside again. Second, he's never ever drinking coffee again ( he's just lying to himself at this point ) Third, he's going to be more clumsy from now on just to come to the hospital. 

He felt like Seokjin was his mom. He was so kind and nice. Stayed by Namjoon's side through the whole check up. Even when the burn started to register in Namjoon's brain and his eyes teared up from the pain, he held his hand. Safe to say, the younger wanted to befriend the man. 

"Again, I'm really sorry Namjoon-ah" Namjoon shook his head and smiled, dimples and all. 

His motto in life was smile through the pain. 

And God he wanted to cry because of the pain. 

"It's okay, accidents happen..trust me I would know" Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows, but had an amused expression on his face. 

"Hyung can I have your number? I want to buy you another coffee, I still basically ruined your morning-" 

"Oh no that wouldn't be necessary, I burned you" 

"Nope, I insist" Namjoon smiled again and the doctor sighed. 

"Okay, give me your phone" He started patting his pockets and groaned, because of coarse he forgot his phone and brought his iPod instead. 

"Uh..I kinda maybe possibly forgot it?" Seokjin laughed and pulled his phone out, handing it to Namjoon.

"Wow, you're really a dork" 

"Oh trust me, you haven't seen the worst of it yet" Namjoon handed Seokjin his phone back with a bright smile. 

"Well, I have duties to attend to, please be careful on your way back Namjoon-ah" 

"Will do hyung! Make sure you don't burn anyone else" 

"Aish brat"


	14. Why are you crying? You and I are the only ones here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you crying?" Okay, Taehyung admits that wasn't the wisest first thing to say to a stranger, but again blame it on the moon.
> 
> "U-um what? Who are you?" Upon another inspection, the artist noticed that the boy had pink hair. Almost like cotton candy.
> 
> "I'm Kim Taehyung, you?" Since the pink haired boy didn't seem to recognize him, he assumed it was safe to reveal his name. Taehyung hopes he's right for once in his life.
> 
> "P-Park Jimin" Taehyung offered a boxy smile and nodded.
> 
> "How ironic, Park Jimin sitting in a park" Jimin wiped his eyes and let out a chuckle.

Taehyung liked taking walks at dawn, specifically 4 O'Clock. There was a park that would take him approximately fifteen minutes to reach on foot. It was near an apartment complex in a nice neighborhood. He liked it so much because there was this pond that showed him his reflection. Also there's ducks, but ~~that's not important.~~  Actually it is, Taehyung lives just to feed these ducks, he even named them!

He's used to going there basically everyday, so when he sees an unfamiliar boy sitting on a bench hunched over, he was utterly surprised. His first instinct told him to leave, that maybe the boy had a gun or knife because who in their right mind would leave their house at a time like this? Well, except for Taehyung of coarse. His second instinct though (which won over, surprise!) told him to go and talk to the stranger. Blaming it on the moon, Taehyung walks over to the boy and sits next to him, startling him into a sitting position. Upon further inspection, the brown haired boy noticed tears streaming down the other's face. Now, he didn't know why it hurt him so much to see the boy crying, it just did. Maybe it's because he's so cute it's a crime to cry with a face like his, or maybe it's because he looked so sad it made Taehyung sad.

"Why are you crying?" Okay, Taehyung admits that wasn't the wisest first thing to say to a stranger, but again blame it on the moon.

"U-um what? Who are you?" Upon another inspection, the artist noticed that the boy had pink hair. Almost like cotton candy.

"I'm Kim Taehyung, you?" Since the pink haired boy didn't seem to recognize him, he assumed it was safe to reveal his name. Taehyung hopes he's right for once in his life.

"P-Park Jimin" Taehyung offered a boxy smile and nodded.

"How ironic, Park Jimin sitting in a park" Jimin wiped his eyes and let out a chuckle.

"So..why are you crying? Here of all places instead of your own apartment?" Taehyung asked and Jimin sniffed, covering his small hands with his jacket's sleeve. Should he tell him? The kid is still a stranger and Jimin doesn't really like strangers..

"It's okay, you and I are the only ones here" Another smile made Jimin's heart warm and maybe just maybe he felt safe with this so called Taehyung.

"I just...I'm homesick a-and I felt so suffocated in my apartment" The younger oh'd and nodded.

"Where are you from Jimin-ah?" Jimin looked surprised at Taehyung's use of his name, however brushed it off.

"Busan" Jimin said as he ran a hand through his hair, staring ahead at the pond that reflected the moon. Jimin thought moving to Seoul would be easy, he's lived with his parents his whole life so he wouldn't miss them right? Well, he was wrong. He misses his mom's cooking, how she took care of him and woke him up in the morning with a smile. How his dad always taught him all about the world, how they played basketball outside ( Jimin's dad told him never let your height stop you ) and would let Jimin beat him on purpose. He missed his parents.

"Hey now, don't cry...just stop thinking about it..um here let's change the subject! How old are you?" Taehyung noticed how the pink haired boy's eyes seemed to water again and he was panicking. He really didn't want to see Jimin crying. It hurt his very soul to witness it.

"I-I'm twenty two" Jimin jumped slightly as Taehyung clapped excitedly.

"Me too!!! What month?"

"October"

"Ah so you're my hyung! Jiminie hyung!" Jimin smiled at Taehyung's cuteness, before he felt a big hand settle on his much smaller one.

"Oh my God your hand is so small, aw can you get any cuter?" Taehyung assumes it was safe to say, the boy's cheeks were as pink as his hair.

"Aish why do you have to embarrass me" Jimin covered his face with his other hand and shut his eyes tightly. Why did Taehyung grab his hand in the first place? They didn't know each other! Should Jimin make a run for it? But Taehyung looks fast...

"Hey, wanna feed the ducks with me? I'll tell you their names!" Thoughts of running flew out of Jimin's mind as he saw the soft smile the younger gave him. Giving in, both boys got up and walked to the pond, their hands still intertwined.

"Come on, look!" Jimin crouched next to Taehyung and grabbed the seeds he was offered.

"You carry seeds around in your bag?" The older asked with an amused expression.

"Well, duh of coarse! Why wouldn't I?" So Jimin thought he's never met someone as weird as Taehyung.

"See that one's Dave, and this is Bob...that's momma bear! Her name is Sana, that little baby is Woozi and finally we have Kookie! He's a newborn" Jimin had an eye smile by the time Taehyung was finished. God, he's so cute.

"So, how do you tell them apart Tae?" Taehyung smiled at the nickname and put some seeds in his palm.

"They're my kids, anyone can tell the difference between their kids!" Jimin made noises of understanding and nodded.

"Sorry for offending you Taehyung appa" The younger laughed as he extended his hand into the pond.

"Don't worry, happens all the time. Come on, put your hand inside so they can eat!" Jimin copied the brown haired boy, and his eyes widened once they started eating from his palm.

"Oh my God.." He was scared, but amazed at the same time. No animal has eaten straight out of his hand! Well, except for his dog. He doesn't count though.

"Fun, right?" Jimin hummed and found himself leaning against Taehyung. The other didn't seem to mind, too focused on feeding his 'babies' to actually care.

Jimin felt a head rest on top of his and his heart instantly warmed. He wonders what would've happened if Taehyung didn't miraculously showed up. He would've went back home, wouldn't he?

"Thank you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh my vmin heart .°(ಗдಗ。)°.
> 
> So I posted a new fic called ' LOVE YOURSELF ' and tbh I didn't even write chapter one lol, I'm gonna start working on it sometime this week. I have an appointment tomorrow #PRAYFORSQUISHYHOPEMON2K17 so I won't be on here ahahahaha. I hope you liked this chapter <3 and thanks for the love and the kudos it keeps me going! 
> 
> IM OUT ε=ε=ε=┌(•-•)┘


	15. Dancing is my passion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok sighed and got up tiredly. While he loved dancing he still dreaded going. He had to be all cheerful and happy, smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong. 
> 
> To be honest, his whole life is like this. Pretend.

Hoseok awoke to his alarm blaring 'pick me up' and he was so annoyed he was tempted to grab the thing and throw it out the window. Damn Yoongi must've set it up while he was at work. 

Unfortunately he came back home at 8 AM ( courtesy of his job ) and fell asleep only to wake up at 5 PM for his dance class. 

Hoseok sighed and got up tiredly. While he loved dancing he still dreaded going. He had to be all cheerful and happy, smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong. 

To be honest, his whole life is like this. Pretend. 

The brown haired boy put on some clothes suitable for dancing and walked into the living room. 

"Aish, idiot" Hoseok mumbled fondly as he covered Yoongi's sleeping body with a blanket. He's been staying up late again working on his music and  Hoseok doesn't like it, but he can't do anything to stop the rapper. The small boy is as stubborn as it can get.

Yoongi cuddled into the blanket, his eyebrows furrowing slightly making Hoseok smile. He's grumpy even when he's sleeping....

The older went into the kitchen, grabbed a granola bar and headed outside. He plugged his headphones in and started his jog. 

It was really beautiful outside. The temperature was just right, with clouds covering the setting sun. The birds chirping and bees buzzing ( not really, but it sounded nice to say in Hoseok's head ). 

Hoseok pushed open the studio's door, greeted by the cold air of the AC. Sighing softly, he went to his locker, throwing his stuff inside. God, how he wishes today will pass by quickly..just thinking about his night shift makes him want to cry. 

You may wonder why the hell he goes to dance classes instead of sleeping? Well, it's the only thing Hoseok loves in his life. The only thing he knows he's good at. It makes him steady. He loses himself in the rhythm of the music and blocks everything out. Besides, he earns good money for teaching a couple of kids how to move their bodies. It helps that he teaches one class a week.

"Excuse me" Hoseok put a smile on, and turned around to face a brown haired boy.

"Yes? Are you new here?" The boy was unfamiliar to Hoseok, he was sure he would remember a face as cute as his. 

"Y-yeah I am, I'm Jeon Jungkook" The boy smiled. 

"Okay Jungkook-ah! I'm your dance instructor, J-Hope" Jungkook bowed instantly and Hoseok laughed.

"Nice to meet you seonsaengnim please take care of me" Hoseok let out another laugh and nodded, ruffling Jungkook's hair. 

"So, do you consider yourself a good dancer?" 

"I don't know, it was my friend that said I should sign up" Hoseok raised an eyebrow. It was a bold move of this Jungkook kid. Who would join something when they don't know if they're good at it. What if he sucks and embarrasses himself? Hoseok sure would like to see that..

"I'm sure you'll be great! Anyways, come on the class should start about now" The walk to the dance room was quite, both boys engrossed in their own thoughts. Hoseok of how much he wanted to go home and curl into his bed and Jungkook of how much he regrets signing up. Why did he even listen to Taehyung? Who in their right mind would listen to an idiot like him? 

Okay maybe he was being too harsh, but honestly Taehyung is so dense sometimes, it hurts Jungkook to see. 

The older of the two walked into the studio, smiling at his students,"Good afternoon everyone! We have a new student today! His name is Neon Jungkook, treat him well" Hoseok introduced the younger and Jungkook admits he's never been more grateful in his entire life.

"Today, we'll learn a new routine..." 

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

Hoseok was very impressed. 

Jeon Jungkook...he's definitely a work of art. The boy can move so amazingly, Hoseok thinks he's lying about not knowing if he can dance. Sh!t he's almost at Hoseok's level. Key word being 'almost' 

"Good job today Jungkook! You were awesome" Hoseok smiled brightly at the young boy, noticing a blush settle on his cheeks. 

"Thank you seonsaengnim! You're really an amazing dancer, I can see why so many people choose Wednesdays to come here" The dancer admits he felt a little sheepish. Wednesday's were his days at the dance studio. 

"Uh thanks, I gotta head out now. Take care Jungkook-Ah" Hoseok smiled before quickly leaving the studio. Why is he feeling so nervous all of a sudden? Hoseok's been showered with compliments his entire life, what's one more compliment? Coming from a kid no less! Get a grip Hoseok! 

Yoongi perked up like a puppy as he heard the shuffling of keys in front of the door. God, he missed Hobi so much..these days they don't spend enough time together. They were both so busy, Yoongi with his music and Hoseok with his job.

"Oh look at this, sleeping beauty has awoken" Yoongi rolled his eyes with a smile as he pulled the older into a hug. 

"Ugh ew sweat" Yoongi complained making Hoseok laugh. 

"Nobody told you to bear hug me without a warning" 

"You're going to work soon right? I made some food..I can heat it up for you while you get ready if you like" Hoseok swore Yoongi was an angel sent to him from heaven. The boy was staring at the ground in shyness, making the dancer's heart swell with love. What did I do to deserve him? 

"Aww look at my child being all cute-"

"Yup never fu**ing mind. You can heat the food up yourself" Yoongi gave him that famous 'The fu** is wrong with you' look before flopping on the couch.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, please oh great Yoongi forgive me and feed my poor soul?" The younger smirked and ignored Hoseok. Oh really Min Yoongi? The silent treatment? 

"Are you ignoring your sunshine Hyung? I'm hurt" The smirk turned into a smile and the blond finally got up.

"Fine~ ugh the things I do for you, honestly" Yoongi stopped walking when Hoseok back hugged him. The older's breath warm on his neck.

"Thank you" For brightening up my life. 

"Aish it's not a big deal Hyung, no need to get all emotional on me" 

"Shut up"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah my sope heart :'). Btw two updates in one day I must be crazy hahahahahahaahahaha. I'm out ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(•~•)┘


	16. #1 fanboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm Park Jimin, this is Min Yoongi" Jimin smiled and Jungkook suddenly looked the pink haired boy up and down.
> 
> "You're Jimin?"
> 
> Oh.
> 
> Jimin has never been this offended in his entire life. That cute brat just dropped the honorifics like they were childhood friends, and why is he looking at Jimin like that? Like he was trash...
> 
> Jimin is very offended.
> 
> "It's Jimin Hyung you brat"
> 
> "Ha? You've got to be kidding me? You're my Hyung?"
> 
> "What the fu** is that supposed to mean?"
> 
> "You look like a five year old-"
> 
> "Okay shut the fu** up kid and let us in" Yoongi has had enough of this a**hole making fun of Jimin. Also, he really doesn't want to stand all night in the lobby. It's cold, and it beats the purpose of him going out of his house.
> 
> Jungkook rolled his eyes and opened the door wider for the three to step in. As Hoseok passed by he swore he could hear the boy mumbling something along the lines of, "What is it with short people these days"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someoneee pleeaaasseee teach me how to post pictures here, it'll make my life so much easier T^T also sorry I haven't updated in like three centuries. ya girl had a busy schedule ( fml ) anyways I hope you like this chapter! It's actually longer than any of the past chapters I wrote! It makes me super happy!

 

"Jimin you don't understand!! Agust D released a new mixtape how can you not be excited oh my god! Do you realize we're from the same hometown? I was living at the same place Agust D lived in-"

"Taehyung chill! It's 4 O'clock how are you this hyper?" Taehyung looked at Jimin with wide shocked eyes. That's it, this hyung must be crazy!! They were talking about Agust D and he wants him to 'chill'

"Don't you dare 'chill' me while I'm talking about Agust D! He's my fu**ing superhero, I idolize him-"

"Please...stay quite for a minute and let me wake up properly" The artist might've knocked on every house in the neighborhood asking where Jimin lived. It was after the third house, he found him.

"Did you really wake me up just to Fanboy about Agust D? Didn't you have a roommate? Jungkook? Why the hell are you torturing me?" Because I missed you.

The last time Taehyung saw Jimin was three weeks ago. Every time he would show up to the park, Jimin was nowhere to be found. After their first meeting Taehyung was lucky enough to see Jimin two times. They got really close in the younger's opinion, however when the dancer suddenly stopped showing up Taehyung was really sad. He kept coming to their spot though, because maybe..just maybe Jimin would come back.  
So when Agust D dropped his mixtape ( at three in the fu**ing morning ) Taehyung thought it would be a good excuse to disturb the peace in the neighborhood. They were mostly old people so they weren't too mean to him, he just lied that it was an emergency and that shut 'em up.

"Because Kookie sleeps like a rock! Nothing I did woke him up, ugh he would sleep through an earthquake" Jimin rolled his eyes and laid back on the grass.

"Lucky him"

"Say...can I get your number? I'm throwing a birthday party tomorrow and I would like it if you came. You can bring a plus one too.." Jimin hummed softly before nodding. He didn't have anything to do tomorrow, and he knew exactly what gift to bring for Taehyung.

The boy typed his number in, saving the contact as 'ChimChim'

"ChimChim~ I like it" Taehyung said before laying down on the grass next to Jimin.

"So the mighty V has a lot of celebrity friends I assume?" The artist laughed then shrugged.

"I guess"

"So modest"

"Shut up, wanna listen to the mixtape?"

"Sure, wanna know what the hype is about"

Little did Tae know, Jimin knew exactly what the hype was about.

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

Jimin walked into his apartment and saw he had a lot of messages from his 'WHATSDOWN'

Well, that's new.

Upon further inspection Jimin saw half of them were from Taehyung. Laughing at the boy's silliness, he quickly typed a reply.

 

<https://squishyhopemon2.tumblr.com/post/164675555255/vmin-chat> 

  
The other half of messages were from Yoongi, and as he read them he couldn't help the 'aw' that escaped his lips. Yoongi was too cute for his own good. He would never say that out loud though, he's not suicidal.

 

 <https://squishyhopemon2.tumblr.com/post/164677983430>

The dancer flopped on his bed and sighed in content, "I'm sorry we were separated so rudely like today baby, I promise you our quality time won't be interrupted again" He patted the bed softly before he wandered into dreamland.

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

"You mentioned a Fanboy...who's that?" Jimin was making some food while Yoongi was on speaker. Apparently he was very interested in said Fanboy. If you ask him though he'll say he's just 'curious'

"His name is Kim Taehyung"

"Oh...does he know you're my friend?" Jimin laughed and shook his head, even though the rapper couldn't see him.

"Are you kidding? He would have a heart attack if I told him. Oh, can you do me a favor hyung?" Yoongi sighed, already seeing where this was going. The blond also knew he would agree, because who could deny Jimin anything? He was adorable.

"What is it Chim?"

"Can you meet him for his birthday? He'll be really happy" Yoongi thought it was safe to say ' I knew it '

What's the harm though? He could really use an ego boost. ( if you ask anyone else they'd say his ego was already through the roof, and maybe it was...judging from his songs )

"Fine, but you owe me" just because he would agree doesn't mean he doesn't want anything out of it. Yoongi always wants something in return.

"You're the best!! You can bring a plus one if you like"

"But aren't I your plus one? How can a plus one bring a plus one?" The oldest furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Do parties in Seoul work this way? Is this how the young cool kids party? Damn...So he really was a grandpa..

"In my book you can! Bring Hoseok Hyung with you! I want to meet him, so anyways I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8 sharp. Send me your location! Bye" Yoongi sighed as he hung up the phone, wondering if Hoseok would agree on coming with him. It is Saturday tomorrow, so the older is obviously free. Will he agree on going out and partying though?

Speak of the devil and it shall appear. Or should Yoongi say, the angel?

"Hey Yoongs" Hoseok offered a bright smile to Yoongi before heading into the kitchen. Following him, the small rapper sits on a wooden stool.

"Say hyung...you're free tomorrow right?" Hoseok was already suspicious. Yoongi's never asked him that before, always respecting the dancer's choice of staying at home and lazying away the day.

"Um..I am, why?"

"There's a birthday party I'm going to and I was told to bring a plus one" Hoseok hummed as he picked up an ice cream tub, eating straight from it.

"Yoongs, are you asking me out on a date?" Yoongi rolled his eyes and grabbed a towel, throwing it on the older.

"Hyung, will you come or not?" The dancer laughed before walking over to Yoongi, ruffling his blond hair with a smile.

"Anything for you"

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

 

<https://squishyhopemon2.tumblr.com/post/164412902375/party-pics-aye>

Jimin knocked on the apartment's door, with Yoongi and Hoseok behind him.

"Who else do you think is in there?" Yoongi asked and Jimin shrugged.

"Brace yourself though, Kim Taehyung knows a lot of people" The rapper groaned at that and sighed.

"Great"

Just then the door opened revealing a tall brown haired boy, his doe eyes scanning the three faces before recognition shone in them.

"Ah! J-Hope seonsaengnim! I didn't know you were coming!" Yoongi glanced at the boy before directing his gaze to Hoseok. Must be one of his students.

"Oh please Jungkook-ah call me Hoseok, we're not in the studio you know" Jimin's eyes widened at the mention of the name 'Jungkook'

This must be Taehyung's roommate! The one that can sleep through earthquakes.

"I'm Park Jimin, this is Min Yoongi" Jimin smiled and Jungkook suddenly looked the pink haired boy up and down.

"You're Jimin?"

Oh.

Jimin has never been this offended in his entire life. That ~~cute~~ brat just dropped the honorifics like they were childhood friends, and why is he looking at Jimin like that? Like he was trash...

Jimin is very offended.

"It's Jimin Hyung you brat"

"Ha? You've got to be kidding me? You're my Hyung?"

"What the fu** is that supposed to mean?"

"You look like a five year old-"

"Okay shut the fu** up kid and let us in" Yoongi has had enough of this a**hole making fun of Jimin. Also, he really doesn't want to stand all night in the lobby. It's cold, and it beats the purpose of him going out of his house.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and opened the door wider for the three to step in. As Hoseok passed by he swore he could hear the boy mumbling something along the lines of, "What is it with short people these days"

Inside, there were people Hoseok could recognize. Some of them being idols, while others were artists. The party wasn't one of those -You're too annoying I'm calling the cops- kind of parties. The music wasn't too loud nor too low, just perfect if you wanted to dance or simply wanted to chat to someone. On the left was a long table filled with chips, sauce, candy and some very fancy looking deserts. There's even some pastries Hoseok can't name for the life of him. There was also alcohol, differing from old classical wine to beer.

It wasn't too crowded, which Yoongi thanked his lucky stars for. His eyes swept the room, landing on a familiar face.

"Hey...Is that Rapmon?" Yoongi nudged Jimin and the younger nodded.

"I didn't know he was coming!!" The pink haired boy exclaimed excitedly. He's only talked to Rapmon over the phone ever since he went to 'hard carry' and to see him another time got the younger excited.

"Hobi hyung, I want you to meet someone" Yoongi said as he dragged the dancer to where the DJ was. The blond male tapped Namjoon's shoulder to get his attention. He was talking to a broad shouldered man and- wait a second..

"Seokjin Hyung?" Said male stopped talking and looked at Yoongi with surprise.

"Yoongi?! Aw I missed you kid" The eldest pulled him in a hug, which was okay with Yoongi. This man felt like an older brother to him, he made Yoongi feel comfortable back at the hospital so he didn't mind any skinship with him.

"Hobi you're here to-"

"Wait a moment I'm so confused" Jimin said what was on Namjoon's mind. Suddenly everyone knew each other and the boy was startled. How did they know each other? And why does it seem like everyone knew Hoseok? Is he that friendly? Who the hell is Seokjin? And why is he so handsome? His face should be a crime!

"Okay so Hoseok Hyung this is Kim Namjoon or rap monster, I met him at the club I rap at. Namjoon this is Jung Hoseok, my roommate. Jimin this is Kim Seokjin, Seokjin Hyung this is Park Jimin, I also met him at the club. Everyone know each other now?" Yoongi explained and the three boys nodded their heads.

"Wait, but Namjoon. How'd you meet Seokjin hyung?" Yoongi asked and both boys suddenly started laughing.

"Well...I bumped into Seokjin hyung-"

"Typical"

"Shut up shortie-"

"At least I'm not a clumsy giant"

"Boy is that how you talk to your hyung?!"

"Focus on the point Namjoon" Yoongi interrupted Jimin's and Namjoon's bickering with a slap on both of their heads.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted! I bumped into Hyung and he spelt coffee all over me" Hoseok winced before looking at Seokjin who was basically spilling tears of laughter.

"Oh are you okay now? That must've hurt a lot. Ah Seokjin hyung you call yourself a doctor?" Hoseok teased the eldest, earning a blush in return and a weak slap on his arm.

"Considering all the accidents I've been through? It wasn't that bad" Yoongi snored at that before patting Namjoon's back.

"One day you're going to get yourself killed and when you do, what are we supposed to write on your cause of death? Killed himself trying to go down the stairs?" Seokjin yet again slapped Yoongi's arm with a loud laugh.

"Ah don't jinx him Min Yoongi, it just might happen" Meanwhile Namjoon had a pout on his face, mumbling how they're all mean to him.

  
Just as their conversation ceased, someone loudly yelled, "CHIMCHIM" Startling Jimin and making his heart beat a million times per hour.

Taehyung threw his arms around Jimin's neck and squeezed the living sh!t out of him.

"Tae please...I need air" The artist let go only to throw an arm around Jungkook's shoulder who in turn removed the older's arm and walked over to Seokjin. Jungkook didn't want to be in the same proximity as Jimin. Something about the short boy pissed him off. So he calmly stood next to the eldest of the group, pouting without realizing it.

"Who are your friends?" Taehyung asked with a boxy smile. Namjoon couldn't help but smile at the boy's cuteness.

"This is Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin"

"You're the birthday boy?" Yoongi asked and Taehyung nodded happily.

"Did you get me a present?" Jimin face palmed while Yoongi smirked. The rapper glanced at Jimin in a way that said 'Should we tell him?'

The dancer shook his head.

"We did, but we won't give it to you right now"

"Give it to- G-GIVE IT TO ME, FAME FLASHLIGHT! G-GIVE IT TO ME" Taehyung started rapping and Yoongi couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Jimin wasn't lying when he said that he's his fanboy.

"What are you singing?" Hoseok asked with a smile, not knowing he will regret asking. The fanboy's eyes widened and a gasp left him.

"You...you don't know Agust D?" The three boys shared a look. Biting his lip, he shook his head.

"Oh my fu**ing....how are you living? Agust D is the most fu**ing awesome rapper out there! He spits fire ( ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ ) I tell you! He'll burn you up! He's a genius-"

"Okay we get it Taehyung chill" what is it with this Hyung and telling him to chill??!!!! He's crazy!!

"DONT TELL ME TO CHILL WHEN IT COMES TO AGUST D PARK JIMIN I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!" By now Yoongi was crouching, his body shaking from laughter.

"I would give him my blood, sweat and tears ( ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ ) if I could, like you guys don't even get it" Taehyung sighed over exaggeratedly and Namjoon decided to join their conversation.

"What would you do if you met him?" The DJ asked with an amused smile.

"I don't know...cry probably?" Jimin's smile was so wide Hoseok thought his face was going to rip.

"Taehyung you're so lame" Jungkook chimed in and sighed.

"B!tch at least I Fanboy over a real person not some superhero" Jungkook scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Excuse you? Ironman is more real than you'll ever be"

"A**hole he's a fictional-"

"Nope"

"He's made-"

"Nope"

"He's not-"

"Nope"

"Wait...you do know he's not real Kookie right?" Seokjin said and Jungkook blinked.

"He's real! I saw him and took a picture with him too!" Jimin covered his face so the youngest wouldn't see his smile. He has to be joking right?

"Don't play dumb Kookie" Taehyung said and the maknae blinked yet again.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh my God"

"He thinks he's real" Hoseok mumbled in amazement.

"I don't think he's real! He is real"

"Uh...so who wants to break it to him?" Taehyung asked and they all avoided looking at each other.

"I vote Seokjin hyung, since he's the oldest" The blond haired rapper said and Seokjin killed Yoongi three times in his head.

"Kook-ah....Ironman is a fictional character" Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows and glared at Seokjin. What's wrong with these hyungs? If Ironman wasn't real then how come he saw him?! And how is there movies?

"What are you talking about? I literally met him-"

"Jungkook-ah that was a man dressed in an ironman costume.." Namjoon felt as if he was telling a five year old the tooth fairy doesn't exist.

He felt bad.

"You're lying, how come his costume looked so real? It was made of iron and-"

"Kid, look" Jimin showed him a Google page of ironman that says 'fictional character' and the dancer swears he saw tears gather in Jungkook's eyes.

"What the fu**?! Who's the a**hole that thought it was a good idea to lie to people! I'm so done with humanity I swear" They all burst out in laughter, except for Seokjin who honestly felt bad for the kid. He remembers how he felt when his parents told him Santa wasn't real..

He told them he wants all of his cookies back, feeling betrayed that he could've ate them instead of his lying parents.

Parents...wow he almost doesn't remember how they looked like...

"A-are you okay?" Taehyung asked, wiping away the tears that managed to fall from how hard he laughed.

"I'm fine" The maknae sighed before mumbling, "When they ask you how you are and you say that you're fine when you're really not but you just can't get into it"

"What?"

"You'll never understand"

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

It was time.

Jimin and Yoongi decided they should wait for people to leave. Just until there was a couple of Taehyung's close friends, so he wouldn't be too embarrassed if he cried.

"TaeTae" Taehyung turned from his conversation with Mark, cocking his head at Jimin. The older had a smirk on his face and Taehyung thought he was going to be pranked or something.

He didn't like the look on Jimin's face, not one bit.

"Yeah....?"

"Remember the gift I was going to give you?" Taehyung had millions of things pop into his head. Ranging from Gucci ( he lost that thought in zero seconds since Jimin was broke ) to literally an empty box.

"Uh huh"

"Well my gift for you is....Drumroll please" Mark quickly started drumming on a table making Jimin and Taehyung laugh loudly.

"I present to you" In his best MC award show voice, he clears his throat and says, "Agust D"

Yoongi just stood there, doing nothing.

"Haha very funny Jimin"

"I'm one hundred percent serious! Remember when I told you I preformed in hard carry? He did too and we met there" Taehyung looked at Mark as if the eldest could confirm.

"I mean...You can ask Jackson" Mark said and Taehyung felt like air was sucked out of him.

If Jimin was telling the truth....then....

"JACKSON HYUNG" The birthday boy yelled, running around the apartment looking for him. Hoping that the club owner didn't go home yet.

"KOOKIE DID YOU SEE JACKSON?!" Taehyung shook Jungkook's shoulder with wide eyes.

Jungkook wished he could kill Taehyung.

"Indoor voices Kim Taehyung, indoor fu**ing voices" God, Taehyung didn't have time for this! He needs to know if that shortie was Agust D or not. HIS IDOL COULD BE IN THERE!!

The artist walked into the kitchen, spotting Namjoon talking to the blond man.

"JACKSON HYUNG" Said man jumped slightly before glancing at Taehyung.

"Uh..yes?"

"Come with me" He grabbed his hands and dragged him all the way to the living room. Hearing the older complain and whine about people dragging him around everywhere before coming to a stop in front of Yoongi. The rapper looked so uninterested and so done Taehyung almost laughed. Key word being almost.

"Is this Agust D?!" Jackson looked at Yoongi and nodded.

"Yeah why?"

Taehyung felt like he was fully naked and everyone was staring at him. He's so embarrassed he feels like dying. Oh God he fanboyed about Agust D in front of Agust D. What the fu**. Now what? What is he supposed to do? Is it okay if he digs a hole in he carpet and dies in it? Maybe he'll let Jungkook kill him, the kid's been dreaming of it. Should he hug him? Bow to him? Or maybe not touch him at all! Oh sh!t he hates Jimin. Taehyung loathes Jimin.

"Uh..are you okay?" Agust D is talking to him.

Okay, that's why everyone was sharing these stupid looks in the kitchen. THEY ALL KNEW. Nobody thought of stopping his fanboying? Even Hoseok?!! He thought that dude was an angel or something why didn't he stop him? Why does the world hate him? Okay maybe he was over exaggerating and being dramatic but fu** Agust D is right in front of him!!

"Oh my God! HES CRYING!!" Jimin doubled over in laughter while everyone slowly made their way into the living room. Currently it was just Seokjin, Mark, Jackson, Hoseok, Yoongi, Jimin, Namjoon and Jungkook in the apartment. So it wasn't THAT embarrassing. Jimin hopes Taehyung won't hate him so much. Only a little.

"Fu** my life" The brown haired boy crouched and rested his head on his knees, successfully hiding his face from everyone in the room.

"Are you good bruh?" Jungkook wanted to get killed today, Taehyung was sure.

"Do you wanna get decked bruh?" Taehyung answered making everyone start laughing.

"Well, Taehyungie since the great Agust D is standing right in front of you...what do you wanna say?" See the birthday boy was literally still crying. He looked up to Agust D, admired the older rapper. The things he wrote about were so deep and his story legitimately made Taehyung cry.

Agust D is a legend.

So what did he want to say?

"Um....I really look up to you a-and....uh thank you for coming today" By now Yoongi had a small smile on his face. Just witnessing the loud Taehyung he met an hour ago become this shy school boy was amusing.

"Thank you for supporting me" Yoongi ruffled the boy's hair and offered him a gummy smile.

Taehyung couldn't help thinking that this was the best birthday he's ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me some Taegi <3\. Why is jk being a brat? I wonder why .-. lay out  
> ε=ε=┌(•-•)┘


	17. It's not that I'm happy...it's that I'm not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wanna talk about it?"
> 
> Hoseok was contemplating telling Seokjin the whole fat truth. About how he hates himself to bits and how the monsters in his head are growing stronger and stronger each day.
> 
> How he wishes that he could love himself.
> 
> However, what good will come out of it? What'll he get once he tells all of that to Seokjin? What'll he says? Oh I'm sorry, it's okay, it'll get better. He knows it all. All of these meaningless words that won't help Hoseok one bit.

"Hoseok-ah! Good morning" Hoseok looked up and saw Seokjin smiling at him. Offering a smile in return, he opted for waving instead of replying. Scared that the older will pick up on his raspy voice. 

Seokjin cocked his head to the side, noticing how Hoseok's smile wasn't as bright as usual. How the youngest's eyes seemed a little puffy. 

How broken he looked.

His every move seemed forced, like he was so tired and couldn't bring himself to even look like he's happy.

Seokjin didn't want that. Sadness wasn't a good look on a sunshine like Hoseok. The older found himself wondering if..what if Hoseok wasn't really okay? What if all this time everyone's been saying things like ' wow you're never tired are you? ' or ' don't you get upset? ' Hoseok has been suffering? What if the boy was putting up an act?

"Say...wanna get some dinner with me after work? It's on me" Hoseok felt his eyes widen in surprise. He didn't look so happy today, and Seokjin noticed. Hoseok could tell from the look of concern on the older's face(u). He thought if he wasn't his cheerful self people would dislike him, so why didn't Seokjin leave? Why does he want to eat with Hoseok?

And how the fu** does Hoseok decline? Sh!t how will he speak anyways?! Oh God he's done for. Seokjin will know and probably judge him, then tell everyone at the hospital that Hoseok is a fake weak piece of sh!t and fu** he can't breathe. His chest hurts and white was surrounding everything. His thoughts were taken over by words that consumed his whole being. He wanted to die. To shut the voices up for good.

"Hoseok! Calm down!" Seokjin quickly grabbed the nurse as he was about to fall on his knees. Hoseok's hands were shaking violently, there were tears streaming down his face like a waterfall and he was gasping for air.

"It's okay, you're safe with me— try to breathe alright? Calm down" Hoseok couldn't focus on anything but these monsters in his head. How they yelled at him, how it was getting louder and louder. So he gripped his hair and tugged in attempt to shut them up, crying out "Stop" repeatedly.

"No no don't do that darling it's okay, everything will be okay. Here, do it like hyung" Seokjin placed Hoseok's head on his chest and took a deep breath in.

"Come on Hoseok you can do it" The younger was still gasping for air and it seemed that when Seokjin tugged him forward, he snapped out of his daze. Because the boy suddenly gripped Seokjin's coat tightly and sobbed heavily.

"I–I ca—can't"

"Yes you can, you're sunshine hobi you can do it" And Seokjin doesn't get it! He's not a sunshine! Fu** he's not happy can't he see that?

Looking up at the older, he wondered..why was their two of him? Why is Hoseok's vision so blurry? He feels light headed, so dizzy. Maybe if he closed his eyes it'll all end? Maybe-

"Fu** you're gonna pass out Hoseok please try" Seokjin cupped Hoseok's face and stared at him straight in the eye, "You can't leave Yoongi all alone right?" At the mention of his dongsaeng whom he promised to protect, he took a sharp breath and coughed violently.

"That's it, In and out" Seokjin took a deep breath in, before letting it out, Hoseok following along.

"You're doing a good job hobi" Seokjin waited until the nurse's breathing steadied and noticed how he slumped against him. Like all his energy was drained  out of him.

"It's okay, you're okay" A hand started patting Hoseok's hair, making him feel like crying again. His mom used to do that for him when he was a kid and God he missed her so much.

"Let's get you home okay?" Hoseok buried his face in Seokjin's neck, feeling his cheeks get hotter and hotter by the second.

"I'm s-so sorry-" Seokjin rolled his eyes and helped the nurse up. It was so stupid how he thought the older wanted an apology.

"Shut up, come on"

"B-but hyung-"

"No buts"

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

"Excuse me supervisornim, I need a sick leave for nurse Jung Hoseok" Hoseok was sitting on a waiting chair outside of their supervisor's office. His head hurt, his chest hurt and everything just fu**ing hurt. To be honest, Hoseok is immensely grateful for Seokjin's existence. He's the real angel not Hoseok.

"Oh Dr.Kim, may I ask why?" Hoseok almost snored at that. It's called a sick leave for a fu**ing reason. Idiot.

"He's not feeling well"

"Did a doctor check up on him?"  Seokjin raised an eyebrow and tried to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Oh my he has a retarded one here. They need to stop hiring idiots in this hospital! Seokjin wanted to count them on his fingers, but he couldn't! Wanna know why? Because he doesn't have enough of them!

"Supervisornim if you forgot, I'm a doctor and yes I checked up on him and yes he needs to leave" Hoseok smiled slightly at Seokjin's sass, and leaned his head on the chair he was sitting on.

"Well..okay let me print it" The sound of clicking could be heard before the printer made a noise.

"Thank you and sorry for the trouble" Seokjin grabbed the signed paper and walked out of the office.

"Come on Seokie, I'll drive you home"

"Actually hyung..I don't wanna go home" Hoseok mumbled as he looked at the floor in shyness.

"What? Why?"

"Yoongi is there and..I don't want him to know" Seokjin oh'd before nodding in understanding.

"That's fine, let's go to my apartment"

"No no Hyung it would be okay if you just dropped me off at a park, I really just need some fresh air"

"Hoseok I can't just-"

"No it's fine, I'm okay hyung I really am" Seokjin stared uncertainly at Hoseok, studying his frame. The boy looked like he was two seconds away from passing out, Seokjin just can't leave him alone. It would be unprofessional and un-responsible of him.

"I can see it in your eyes that you're not going to listen to me, but you can't just leave the hospital" Hoseok said and sighed. Man, Seokjin was as stubborn as Yoongi and that's saying something.

"Actually, I can! Which park are we going to?" With a bright smile on his face, Seokjin grabs Hoseok's arm and walks out of the hospital.

"Oh boy"

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

Both boys had a cone of ice cream, one strawberry and one chocolate. It was about nine AM now and Seokjin turned his phone completely off.

He'll either get yelled at or fired, but who cares right?

"So.." The older started.

"So?" The younger answered.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Hoseok was contemplating telling Seokjin the whole fat truth. About how he hates himself to bits and how the monsters in his head are growing stronger and stronger each day.

How he wishes that he could love himself.

However, what good will come out of it? What'll he get once he tells all of that to Seokjin? What'll he says? Oh I'm sorry, it's okay, it'll get better. He knows it all. All of these meaningless words that won't help Hoseok one bit.

"I was just overwhelmed" Seokjin hummed before licking his pink ice cream. It was really pretty outside, actually it might rain. There was clouds scattered around the sky, blocking the sun from attacking any poor people.

"Hey Hoseokie, I remember when I moved here..it was really lonely. I didn't have anyone to talk to or hang out with. It seems that ever since Yoongi showed up to the hospital I've been meeting new people. You and I, we got closer after that boy came there too. Now, I have someone to talk to and vent to, so....whenever you feel like breaking down or that it's all too much for you, know that I'm here. Your hyung is a good listener too" Hoseok felt a lump form in his throat and tears threaten to escape his eyes. The nurse felt as if he really had someone to count on, to trust.

But for now, he'll continue pretending.

"Thank you hyung....for everything"

"Don't thank me"

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

It was the moment of truth. The moment where Hoseok's future is decided. Just as soon as he opens that door, either he will be fu**ed, or Yoongi's too much of an idiot to notice. Hoseok hopes for the latter. Putting his key into the keyhole, he unlocked the door and twisted the knob. Stepping inside, the apartment was quite ( as per usual ) so the older took his shoes off and walked into living room.

Yoongi wasn't there.

That's strange, his keys were at the door so he couldn't have left? Unless he forgot it. Which will be very troubling for Hoseok so he wishes and prays the boy didn't.

Hoseok sighed and walked to his room, choosing to change before continuing to look for his dongsaeng. As he opened the door, a lump was in the middle of his bed, with pillows scattered all around it.

"Yoongi?"

"No, I'm the big bad wolf"

Okay something happened and Hoseok isn't sure if he can handle Yoongi's sh!t. Hoseok had so much of it already he could probably plant seven farms.

"What happened?" Now where did Hoseok put his black shirt? He was sure it was around here somewhere...

"Nothing happened hyung, how was your day?" Aha! Found it! Now for his shorts...

"Mhmm, fine" Picking up a pile of clothes, he found the black shorts laying underneath. "I'm gonna go change" Hoseok walked out of the room and into the bathroom, hurriedly taking his work clothes off and putting on his sleeping attire.

He really just wants to crash on his bed for the night.

The boy sighed and ruffled his hair in irritation, then walked into his room for the second time. Yoongi wasn't laying on his bed anymore, instead sitting and looking at him with a quizzical look.

"Are you sad? You look sad.." Wow what a nice observation Min Yoongi! Sherlock couldn't have fu**ing figured that one out!

"No, just tired. Scooch" Yoongi did as he was told so Hoseok could throw himself on the bed groaning once his muscles complained. Oh fu** his life. Today's events have finally caught up to his body and well...

Not after long, small hands started rubbing his shoulders and back and the older slowly relaxed. Every bone in his body cracked as Yoongi tried his best to give his Hyung a massage. The young rapper honestly had no idea what he was doing, but it might cheer the older up right? Besides, Yoongi's never seen Hoseok upset or grumpy before. It was a new world for him that he wanted to explore. Yes, it didn't suit the nurse, but happiness doesn't suit Yoongi yet you don't see him sulking around. ( That's actually a big fat lie, it's basically his part-time job).

"I'm gonna fall asleep if you keep going" Hoseok said only for Yoongi to roll his eyes again.

"That's the point" His Hyung hummed before getting more comfortable on the bed. He was so ready to sleep for the next year.

"Good night" Yoongi whispered after a couple of minutes and made a move to stand up. ( that of course failed due to Hoseok pulling him back on the king sized bed ).

"Stay here"

And who was Yoongi to say no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woaaahh so this happened...I'm an excited bubble for hixtape like you guys don't even understand how excited I am.. Jung Hoseok spare us the wait and drop your masterpiece:'). I hope you liked this chapter and as you can see The boys are getting closer and closer with each chapter! I'm trying to make this as angsty and fluffy as I can lolol. I'm out ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(•-•)┘


	18. lost my always

"TaeTae you don't get it! Rapmon Hyung is so cool like-" This strangely sounds familiar...doesn't it?

"You've said that five times Jungkook, I get it..trust me" Jungkook upon being interrupted, pouted like a three year old who didn't get what he wanted. He really just wants Taehyung to understand how awesome the rapper/DJ was! Cooler than Agust D or Park Jimin could ever be.

"But hyung you need to see him doing his magic, you'll be like..Agust D who? Park Jimin who?" Taehyung rolled his eyes and gave Jungkook a confused look.

"What does Jiminie have to do with this? He's not a rapper" Well shit he got him there.

"I'm giving examples.." Yeah right, examples my ass. Could've chosen any rapper, but he decided to choose Jimin. The dancer Jimin. The singer Jimin.

Jungkook's a toddler full of crap that's what Taehyung thinks. Also, he's really bad at lying, the older feels obligated to teach him.

"Fine, I'll go if Yoongi Hyung is there" The younger groaned and buried his face in his hands. Now how was he supposed to get Yoongi of all people to the club? They're not close, ( kook has a feeling they'll never be too ) Jungkook doesn't have anyone to as- or wait....

Seokjin.

"Have I ever told you how much I love Seokjin? Because I love him a lot"

Taehyung couldn't help but think on why he talked to the younger back in college.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Remember the thing Namjoon read about changing his routine? To become more happy and sh!t? Well let me tell you, he failed big time.

Right now he didn't give two fu**s about anything. He just wanted to sleep, and preferably never wake up. However being the adult he is, he had responsibilities to attend to. Work to do and people to deal with.

The boy couldn't motivate himself to get out of bed though. It seemed that this has been the issue for this past week. Namjoon would wake up, curse his existence and try to be up for work. When he fails, he'll call in sick and Jackson bless his heart would give him three days off. Afterwards since he's too depressed to do anything, he'll stay in bed the whole day until sleep overcomes him again. Then he's off to a dreamland that's filled with hateful faces, screaming at him. Saying how worthless he is, how ugly he is and how he should just end all of this.

His favorite hobby right now was wake up and get excited for when he can sleep again.

Although...he can sleep forever if he wanted to.

Unfortunately, every beautiful thing comes to an end. In Namjoon's case it's his days off. Today he had a stupid diss fight with some no namer ( he really isn't, the fight was all over the Internet ). Namjoon in his state of mind could end any rapper who even looked at him the wrong way.

He actually wrote a song. Called it ' always ' but let's leave that for another time.

As he got up he noticed how his clothes that fit just fine the beginning of the week, now hung on his frame. Passing by the mirror, the boy halted in his place and saw how horrible he looked. He was pale, with bags under his eyes and his face pretty much looks dead. Deciding to take a shower to not smell so bad and look presentable, Namjoon stripped off all of his clothes and opened the shower. He put some music on as if to distract himself and stepped into the tub. The hot stream of water that cascaded down his scalp immediately relaxed him and filled his mind with ease. He could only hear the drops falling to the tub and the loud music blasting from his speakers. His thoughts weren't overwhelmed as per usual, which he was immensely grateful for.

Finishing up, he got out of the shower and grabbed a small white towel and dried himself up. There was still an hour left for the rap battle so he could put something in his system. God knows he doesn't want to collapse in front of everyone. That'll be more embarrassing than his whole being ( and that's saying something ).

He put on some clothes that he deemed good enough and headed to his small cozy kitchen.

"Okay Joon think of something that you won't burn while making....." Pausing for a long second the boy sighed and settled for cereal. Yeah, he's really that bad. Pouring the milk before the cereal because fu** stereotypes, he sat down and quietly chewed on his dinner/breakfast. Well, tried to chew as quietly as he can while eating crunchy cornflakes.

Sometimes the quietness was too much for him. Made him feel so suffocated, like the silence was too noisy. However on days like these, Namjoon welcomed it with open arms. Figuratively of coarse.

With a bowl half full ( yes he's looking at the bright side of things, kinda like look at the full side of the glass? Did it go like that? ) the rapper threw the leftovers in the trash. Chuckling at how his mom would've scolded him if she saw that.

Kids in Africa could've ate it.

Yeah, his mom was one of those people.

See Namjoon's an a$$hole. If you tell him there's a kid starving and he'll die if he doesn't eat, he'll simply tell you he doesn't care. Not his kid, so it isn't his problem. That's a trait nobody knows except for a few unfortunate souls, who just so happened to get on Namjoon's bad side.

Now, that's a side you don't want to be on.

He walked out of the kitchen and grabbed his keys, work ID and backpack. Fuming silently, he opened his apartment's door and slammed it shut behind him. And okay maybe the hinges on the door rattled from the force, but who cares right?

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

  
"Our one and only Rap monster! Please give him a warm welcome" Cheers and claps were heard from the crowd and Jungkook can't lie, he kinda screamed too.

Rapmon is just so cool.

"I can't believe you dragged me here.." Taehyung complained with a pout on his face. He's not even close to 'Rapmon' so why was here? And Jungkook cheated him! He said Yoongi will be here, but the short rapper wasn't. The artist was really hurt, he thought he could see his idol again..

"Shut up and listen!" Jungkook seemed to have forgotten who the hyung was. Too focused on staring at Namjoon with star filled eyes.

"Now, who we have going against him is a new upcoming rapper that took the Internet by storm. Please welcome..BamBam" Cheers erupted yet again and Jungkook bounced on his feet excitedly.

"Watch hyung end him" Jungkook said and Taehyung rolled his eyes.

The music started playing and BamBam was to go first. The boy dissed Namjoon from head to bottom. Ranging from his appearance to the way he was dressed.

Came Rapmon's turn, the whole club was screaming from how easily he hit back.

It was a close match. A very very close one, however Namjoon won by voting of the crowd.

The rapper walked off stage only to be stopped by a tap on his shoulder. "Namjoon-Sunbaenim! I really had fun, you were awesome" The older offered a smile and nodded at the young rapper.

"Thanks, you were cool too BamBam" The boy's cheeks heated up and he beamed up at Namjoon. Kinda like when a mom praises her five year old son.

"So..I'll see you around maybe?" With a nod and a 'sure' from Namjoon, the two parted ways. Honestly Namjoon just wanted to go back home and sleep the events off. He still wasn't out of his phase and his anger was slowly starting to rise up.   
But due to his amazing luck, just as he was about to exist the club a hand stopped him yet again. He wanted to punch whoever it was to be honest.

"Hyung!" The rapper's eyes widened as his gaze landed on non other than Jeon Jungkook. Upon further inspection, Taehyung was there too.

"How in the world did you two get in and why are you here? All by yourselves without an adult! Do you know what could've happened to you? Do you have any idea what kind of fu**ed up a$$holes are here I mean-"

"Hyung, if you haven't noticed...I'm here?" Taehyung interrupted Namjoon's angry rant only to be silenced once a glare was directed at him. Okay, he's never known this before, but Namjoon's scary when he's mad.

"You won't be very useful once you're drugged will you? Just come on" The three walked out of the club with Jungkook as quite as a mouse. The maknae felt upset, he just wanted to see Rapmon perform. He didn't mean to do something bad.

"You okay kook?" Taehyung thread a hand through the younger's hair, noticing how a pout formed on his lips.

"Yeah.."

"Listen kids, I'm sorry I yelled at you but honestly that club is as dangerous as it is famous. If you brought Hoseok or Yoongi hyung I would've let it go. Why were you here anyways? And how the hell did you get in?" Namjoon slowed his pace so he was walking next to the two boys.

"Some girls let us pass before them, and we came to see you perform. Jungkook honestly wouldn't shut up about how cool you are and when he knew there was a live battle he insisted we come" Taehyung said and Jungkook groaned and covered his face with his hands. Taehyung was the reason for his embarrassment. Taehyung was the reason why Jungkook hates his life.

"That's....uh thank you..um I'm sorry Jungkook-ah. If you wanted to come you could've texted me or something" Jungkook mumbled something the older couldn't quite get.

"What was that?"

"Idonthaveyournumber" Another incoherent jumbled words made Namjoon look at Taehyung for help.

"Jungkookie, how about you speak more clearly?"

"I said...I don't have your number" Namjoon laughed once the maknae looked at the ground in shyness. The rapper was baffled by how much Jungkook actually admired him, he's never met someone who's a ' fan ' of him.

"Well let's fix that"

And maybe Namjoon's day wasn't as bad as he thought after all.


	19. Only you and I

Jungkook was mad today. Every little thing ticked him off, not even Taehyung managed to loosen him up.

The day started being sh!tty when his alarm fu**ing failed to do the one job it was supposed to do. So he woke up an hour late for college ( also Taehyung's a very useful roommate as you can see ) skipped breakfast and threw on whatever clothes that were on the ground. Lucky him, it was a hoodie and black jeans. You can imagine how he felt when it was 34° degrees outside.

Jungkook was dying.

He arrived to his lecture when it had ten minutes left and got humiliated in front of his whole class. And really? He's an idiot. He should've skipped that sh!t. Everyone was overjoyed that the golden boy of their class got yelled at. That he screwed up for once in his life. His anger only intensified.

He went to a café near his college and ordered himself ice cold mocha to lessen the heat he was feeling.

It was peaceful for a few moments.

That is.

Until.

A b!tch.

Decided.

To.

Flirt.

With.

Him.

Her group of friends were giggling in the corner of the café and Jungkook assumed it was a dare or whatever. Really he would've took her home and fu**ed her, but the boy was livid. He was so mad, he could see red.

So as kindly as ever he told her to go suck someone else's d!ck. Now let's play the guessing game of what happened next!

(A she giggled   
(B she left   
(C she blushed  
(D she slapped him

 

Ding ding ding! You guessed it right! He got slapped!

He fu**ing got slapped because she was flirting shamelessly with him. To make everything better, some people actually clapped for her. The cashier bless his heart who witnessed it all, gave Jungkook a sympathetic look then told him the drink was on the house.

Jungkook's highlight of his day was getting a free drink after being slapped. What a lucky fella!

The maknae decided that fu** it, he's not up for more human contact and decided to walk back to his and Taehyung's apartment. Yes, he was dreading going home and dealing with Taehyung, but he doesn't have anywhere else to go.

Besides, he could use a best friend right now.

Jungkook headed up the stairs and opened the door to be met with a pair of shoes that don't belong to him or Taehyung. Well, great! They have a guest too, how fun.

Noises were coming from the living room so he followed the voices. Upon seeing who was there his anger intensified tenfold.

Park f**ing Jimin was here.

"Hey Kook! You're back" Taehyung smiled brightly at the younger, but he wasn't having any of that.

"I'm going to bed"

Well, so much for spending time with his friend.

"Yah! Don't be rude, at least say hi or something!" The artist scolded and Jungkook just kept walking to his room.

Once he was in his safe haven, the boy locked the door and flopped on his soft bed. Being finally surrounded by silence, Jungkook's anger turned to sadness.

He's had the worst possible day and not even his best friend could comfort him. Besides, why the hell was Jimin here? Damn if Jungkook's hatred for Jimin was split and given to the entire world he'd still have enough hate left for man.

The younger was jealous okay? Jimin was stealing _his_ Taehyung away from him and well, he doesn't like that. The older didn't even give him much attention now. Ever since he met Jimin he's been glued to his phone with a stupid smile on his face. It was always Jimin this and Jimin that.

Back before satan was in the picture, Taehyung clung to Jungkook and only Jungkook. It was annoying yeah, but he kinda misses that.

Even now, when it was apparent the boy was upset, Taehyung didn't give a sh!t. Jungkook guesses Jimin was more important.

He took a shaky breath once his doe eyes filled up with tears and shut them tight.

He'll just go to sleep and once he wakes up, he'll feel better. Right?

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

Taehyung bounced his leg up and down while looking at the clock. Jungkook's been asleep for seven hours now. Did he even eat? And why the hell was he so pissy today? God, Jimin felt really upset that the maknae hated him that much. Taehyung doesn't even understand how someone can hate Jimin.

Giving up, the older got up and knocked on the boy's door. If he doesn't open up, he swears he'll knock the door down. Not even kidding.

"Jungkook? You awake?"

Truthfully, he's been awake for four hours now. He just didn't want Taehyung to see his puffy red eyes and tear streaked face. Jungkook felt so small and like the whole world was against him. He didn't want to face anyone right now.

"Kookie...please if you're awake open the door for hyung. I'm really worried about you bunny" Jungkook's lips twitched upward involuntarily at the nickname and he got up drowsily. He's slept for three hours and he didn't eat anything today, so his muscles were complaining and his energy was drained.

He unlocked the door (so much for not wanting to face anyone) and opened it tentatively. He couldn't bring himself to look at Taehyung, so he settled for staring at the man's feet.

"Hey..." Taehyung couldn't see the younger's face since the lights were turned off. The living room's light wasn't doing anything to show his face either.

"Hi" His voice sounded hoarse, as if he was screaming all night. Taehyung stared at Jungkook with furrowed eyebrows. Right then, the brown haired boy looked so small and young. Nothing like the tall confident maknae he knew.

"Are..are you okay?" Jungkook groaned and rubbed his face in frustration. Fu** was Taehyung dense.

"I'm perfect, do you need anything else?" The maknae was just tired. This time he's going to sleep for real and he didn't want any interruptions.

"Jungkookie, you know I'm here for you right?" Jungkook, choosing to be quite, merely nodded.

"And you know that you're my world right?" Okay Taehyung is starting to sound gay now and Jungkook doesn't know how to reply to that.

"I know what you're thinking you little sh!t, you're like my baby brother is what I meant" The maknae smiled a bit and nodded again.

"I love you taetae" Arms wrapped around the older's neck making a smile settle on his face. He hugged Jungkook back and coo'd.

"Aw such a cute coconut, taetae loves you too" Jungkook may or may not kicked Taehyung in the shin afterwards, but hush let's keep that between us.

"Will you tell me what's wrong now?" Sighing, Jungkook pulled Taehyung into his room and flicked the lights on.

"It's a long story"

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

"Who the hell's she? Do you want me to send my fangirls at her?" Of coarse Taehyung is going to ignore everything and comment on the girl that slapped him. Jungkook feels the love.

"No hyung, don't send your fangirls at her, so anyways. I skipped my last lecture to come hang out with you and feel better but you had that shortie here and I felt upset...and..." Taehyung had his head tilted to the side and a small smile on his face.

"You're doing that thing again" Jungkook looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"What thing?"

"Where you pout like a five year old who had his toy taken away" Jungkook flattened his lips and rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't pouting"

"Yeah well its more like...hmm...you purse your lips? I don't know you look cute when you do that though" Rolling his eyes became a habit when hanging around Taehyung. His stupidity just forces out the eye roll.

"Back to Jiminie..so you were jealous?" Jungkook scoffed and shook his head. ( lying at its finest ).

"I wasn't jealous! Just upset that, well...okay fine I was jealous. You don't even hang out with me anymore, it's always Jimin Jimin Jim-"

"YOU'RE SO CUTE" Taehyung tackled Jungkook on the bed and started tickling him endlessly.

"H-Hyu-STOP" The maknae had tears of laughter streaming down his face as he tried to wriggle his way out of Taehyung's grip.

"IM GONNA PEE" Taehyung let go of Jungkook with a loud laugh and dropped next to him. The younger was taking deep breaths to make up for all the missing oxygen, cursing Taehyung's existence in his head.

"You know I'll never replace you JK, you're my best friend"

"Hyung...it's you and I against the world right?" Laying on his side so he could face Jungkook, Taehyung smiled.

"Yeah, you and I against the world..but, can we bring Jim-"

"Hyung~" The boy whined and pouted deeply.

Taehyung laughed before pulling Jungkook closer to him. The younger's head was buried in Taehyung's chest while the older threw an arm around Jungkook's neck.

"Only you and I kookie"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day I wrote this I was actually so mad I didn't know what to do with my life, so I grabbed my phone and this happened. Have you ever written something so cute you actually fall in love with it? I've been ' awwing ' the whole time I wrote taekook's interactions lmao. I hope you liked this and sorry for not updating sooner! I'm moving to a new school and the paperwork and back to school shit is messing with me://!! ALSO I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT UPDATE YESTERDAY!' HAPPY LATE NAMJOON DAY!! Our leader deserves the world :') love yourself everyone <3


	20. life is a cup of coffee I never ordered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTS COMEBACK AHHHHHHHH SHDJDJDJDJDJDJJDJ YOU GUYS I CANT EVEN WOW OUR BOYS ARE SO TALENTED!!!!

  
"Hey Namjoonie, I'm heading out for dinner wanna come with me?"

"Ah Seokjin hyung I have a shift today.." In all honestly, Namjoon was lying. He was off work today and he was just laying in bed aimlessly.

"Oh, really? Then when are you free?" Namjoon sighed and blurt out the words before he could stop himself.

"Can you come over?"

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

"Hey..woah you look like shit" Seokjin stared at Namjoon with wide surprised eyes. He doesn't remember the younger looking this thin and pale. He just looks like he's had the life sucked out of him.

"Thanks, come on in" Namjoon opened the door further for Seokjin to step in. The older's eyes raked over the apartment and how messy it was. Almost like a pigsty.

Yeah, something is definitely wrong.

"Joon-ah, are you okay?" Both boys sat on the couch only for Namjoon to shoot back up.

"I forgot! I have beer lemme just get that real quick" He rushed to the kitchen, knocking over the remote control off the table in the process. Seokjin just laughed and put the remote where it belonged.

Namjoon's apartment wasn't too fancy. There was a middle sized TV with a bunch of speakers attached to it. Seokjin was sitting on an L shaped sofa ( it was so comfortable he wouldn't mind sleeping on it ) and a coffee table was in front of him. There were shelves hanging on the walls filled with thick looking books, small figurines and some trophies. The place looked cozy, and it just screamed   
' NAMJOON '

"Here hyung" Seokjin took the beer from the boy and smiled at him. Well, he was sure something is up or otherwise Namjoon wouldn't have asked him to come over. Besides didn't he have a night shift?

"So...what's up?"

"Nothing, I just want some company.." The older could tell he was lying through his teeth. He could've said yes to going out for dinner, why did he want company here? In his filthy apartment and oh God Seokjin couldn't take it anymore.

"Okay listen I really can't deal with this, get your a$& up and bring some trash bags. We need to clean this place" Seokjin didn't leave room for arguments as he got up and rolled his jumper's sleeve up.

"What hy-"

"Don't even try to argue, the hell Namjoon how are you living here? Come on kid do as hyung says" And the DJ couldn't help but agree.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

"Aju nice~" Seokjin sang along to the music blasting from the speakers as he grabbed the last of the leftover boxes and threw it in the trash bag.

"Oh my god look this place is so much better now! You can actually see the floor Joonie!" Namjoon chuckled and looked at his feet with a small smile.

"Hey...come here" Namjoon walked into Seokjin's open arms and buried his face in the older's neck. Ignoring the tears that started pouring down the younger's eyes, Seokjin thread his hand through Namjoon's soft hair.

"It's okay, let it all out" It seems that Seokjin has been finding himself in these situations more often lately. He's not complaining though, at least his dongsaengs trust him enough to cry in front of him.

"It hurts so bad hyung" Namjoon tightened his grip on the older and cried silently. His heart hurt and he wanted to give up. Everything would be so much better if he gave up. It will all end. He won't have to worry or be unhappy. It's the cowards way out, but he never said he wasn't.

"I know, but listen to me. I'm right here for you, you don't have to do this alone Joon-ah" Just then the doorbell rang forcing the two to break apart ( much to Namjoon's dismay ).

"I'll go see who it is okay?" The younger nodded and sat down on the coach with a huff.

Seokjin walked to the front door and opened the door, there stood an old looking lady, she looked kinda upset?

"Annyeonghaseyo, is Mr.Kim here?" She said politely and Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows. "Um no he's taking a shower, is there something wrong ahjimae?"

"Well...are you his friend?" A nod of confirmation made the old lady continue, "Tell Namjoon I'm very sorry, but my daughter is coming back with her family from America and she needs an apartment. I'm so very sorry, but she's my daughter and I can't let her live on the streets" Seokjin found it ironic. She's okay with a person living on the streets as long as her daughter doesn't? ( well duh it's her daughter ).  Namjoon has worked hard for this place and she's just kicking him out like that?

"That's fine, but does that mean he won't have to pay this month's rent? And when do you want him to leave?" Her face turned sour once Seokjin mentioned the money which inside made him happy. He felt victorious a little bit.

"Okay...yeah he won't have to pay and she's coming three days from now so.." Seokjin nodded and bowed to her respectfully ( even though she doesn't deserve it ). "I'll make sure to tell him" with that he slammed the door shut and walked into the living room.

"Who was it?" Namjoon asked.

"Looks like you're coming to live with me"  The DJ furrowed his eyebrows and gave Seokjin a confused look.

"The landlady's daughter and her family are coming to Korea and don't have a place to stay so she kicked you out"

"What the fu**?! Why me?" Actually thinking about it, the apartment building is filled with families. Namjoon is the only bachelor living here.

"Anyways, you'll live me with me..sounds good?"

"But hyung I really don't want to cause you any more trouble. I can find another place to stay-"

"Namjoon-ah, this is Seoul if you forgot. You won't find a place so easily"

"I have connections" Seokjin sighed and looked at the floor in saddens. Looks like he needs to put his acting class to use.

"Wow...I didn't know you disliked me that much" Seokjin mumbled quietly and sniffed. Tears slowly started forming in his eyes making the eldest rub them frantically.

"Oh f***, hyung I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that please don't be upset" Namjoon pulled the doctor in a hug and rubbed his back until Seokjin calmed down.

"I'll live with you just don't be sad. I really like hyung, you're a great person and friend and I'm glad I walked into you in that coffee shop" Seokjin grinned and pulled away from Namjoon, patting himself on the back ( literally ) and started looking for boxes.

"I know I'm awesome, but thanks for saying that"

"What the actual f***? I knew you weren't a doctor!" Namjoon swore a person with looks like Seokjin's wouldn't waste them on being a doctor. But is he an actor? Namjoon's never seen him on TV!

And how the fu** did he get rid of his tears in a blink of an eye?!

"What are you talking about?" Seokjin had a sly smirk on his face and Namjoon wanted to shove him in a pond filled with alligators. "Hyung!"

"Okay fine I took acting classes sue me"

"Whoa...do they teach you how to cry too?" Seokjin's smirk turned into a straight face and he looked at Namjoon with all seriousness.

"No, I just thought about how sad my life is and boom. Works better than any teardrops or onions"

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

It was two in the morning and basically every normal person was asleep ( that means Yoongi isn't ). Seokjin and Namjoon however just got done with boxing everything in the living room. The two were laughing none stop due to Seokjin's dad jokes ( actually Namjoon was laughing because of Seokjin's laugh ) and it may be because they're awake at such an ungodly hour, who knows?

"Hyung I'm starving, let's go eat something" And Seokjin never was one to decline food, so they went to the closest convenient store and bought cup ramens. "Should we make it here or at my apartment?" Namjoon asked and Seokjin answered by going to the water boiler.

"Okay here it is then"

"Have you ever had it here? It just suddenly tastes way much better" Seokjin said as the water poured into his cup. The smell alone was going to make Seokjin pass out.

"No I haven't"

"ARE YOU CRAZY??" Namjoon pressed his hand over Seokjin's mouth and tried to shush him. Passerby's were giving them weird looks, but both boys didn't care. They were laughing too much and that's all that mattered right now.

Namjoon hasn't felt this happy since.....well as long as he can remember.  A chill passed by so the rapper settled for back hugging the older and enjoying the body heat Seokjin provided.

"Okay viola! Eat up" They sat on a nearby table and immediately chewed down their food.

Seokjin was right. Ramen tastes so much better when you eat it at a convenience store.

"This is so good"

"I know right?"

"Hyung? Thank you...for everything"

"Shut up"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the comeback has killed me. Also have you noticed that pied piper is bangtan basically dragging us? LMAO. I hope you liked this chapter ( I didn't shdj I feel like it's rushed ) and comment down and tell me what's your favorite song from the album! I really love Mic drop, Go Go, Dimples/illegal, her, DNA, best of me and pied piper :D. Love yourself <3!


	21. your light touches, i forget the reality at once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wanted to die.
> 
> He was sobbing uncontrollably and struggling to breathe, self hatred slowly making itself present in his mind. 
> 
> He was so pathetic. A fu**ing b*tch, 
> 
> How can he call himself a man after this? Did God really fu**ing hate him that much? What was he supposed to do now? What will others think of him? What will he do? 
> 
> he reached his breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter is darker than any i've written before. it contain detailed description about rape. if you're uncomfortable with that kind of thing or if triggers you i will place an indication ( i will put an exclamation mark ) where it starts and ends so that you can skip. all the love and stay strong

Yoongi knew today would be a bad day as soon as Hoseok left for work. usually that would mean Yoongi's bed time since he made sure to stay awake whenever Hoseok was at the apartment. The younger didn't want the nurse to know he had nightmares. Nightmares so bad he woke up screaming and crying. Nightmares so bad he was actually scared of going to sleep. 

Sleeping was an escape for many people, except for Min Yoongi. The boy who wants to escape from sleep. It's ironic really, a year earlier if you asked anyone who knew Yoongi if he loved sleep, they'll answer that he worshiped it. 

Now...not so much. 

After his roommate left, he started getting ready for bed, but he felt like something was wrong. His heart was beating faster than usual and he was super fidgety. Something just didn't sit right with him. He was confused and scared. And suddenly he wanted Hoseok to be back. 

He just had that annoying nagging feeling that something was going to happen, However he didn't know what.

The small rapper dropped on his bed with a sigh and cuddled up to the covers. Whatever it is, he'll deal with it when he wakes up. 

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

The apartment was quite. Hoseok was out and Yoongi was asleep. Perfect for Jaehyun's plan. 

He lock picked the door and opened it as slowly as he could, as if to not make a sound. Jaehyun was excited, very excited. Last time he couldn't claim Yoongi as his own, but now...there's nobody that could stop him. 

Jaehyun made his way to Yoongi's room and opened the thankfully unlocked door. One time both boys left the apartment which gave Jaehyun enough time to memorize each room. Yoongi couldn't escape Jaehyun this time. 

Pulling his mask and gloves further on, he smirked and pulled the ropes and muffler out from his bag. God, he's going to have so much fun with Yoongi. The perfect toy for him. 

The first thing he did was put the muffler on Yoongi's face, of coarse waking his victim up. 

The look of utter horror that took over Yoongi's face pleased Jaehyun. He loved seeing Yoongi weak and powerless under him because that's the way it should be. 

Yoongi's heart was beating fifty miles per second and he made a move to kick Jaehyun off. Unfortunately he missed and Jaehyun sat on his legs and pinned his arms above his head. 

Yoongi could feel that sickening feeling come back ten times worse and tears start to form in his eyes. 

Why was it always him? 

"Don't make a sound Min Yoongi, or you'll regret it" The boy started tying his arms to the bed and the rapper couldn't do anything but lay there and accept his fate. 

He wanted to fight, to struggle..but what's the point? Jaehyun was much stronger than him. Yoongi just had to accept what was coming. 

"Oh you look so pretty like this princess" Jaehyun licked his lips before grabbing scissors out of his bag. Yoongi was wearing Hoseok's shirt and boxers so Jaehyun was thankful he didn't have to remove too many clothing articles. 

Tears fell from Yoongi's eyes making Jaehyun's gaze darken. 

"Is the princess crying? Hm? You want me that bad? Such a fu**ing wh*re...ah don't worry I'll make sure to fill you up" Yoongi's quite cries turned to sobs that shook his whole body. He was so scared, and he just wanted Hoseok here. He wanted Hoseok so bad. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaehyun ripped his shirt in half and took it off the boy, before doing the same with his boxers. 

"Should I take pictures of my pretty princess? Oh yes" The rapper couldn't do anything as pictures of him were taken, he only closed his eyes tight and wished for it to be over soon. 

He heard a zipper before an extra weight joined him on his bed. 

He felt like he was going to throw up. His whole body was shaking uncontrollably and he couldn't breathe. Yoongi tried taking deep breaths, but all his attempts stopped once something cold entered his hole. 

"Fu** you're tight, maybe I should've loosened you up?" He was frozen, eyes opened wide and tears flowing down like a river. 

Jaehyun started to move and Yoongi screamed out in pain. That only seemed to encourage Jaehyun as he started to pick up his pace. 

"You little sl*t I know you like it" Disgusting wet sounds were filling the room, along with Jaehyun's moans and filthy words. Yoongi's broken sobs stopped as he closed his eyes and waited. It will end soon right? 

Jaehyun will leave and Yoongi will clean up and wait for Hoseok to come back. Everything will be okay....right? 

"Beg you b*tch, beg and maybe I'll stop" 

"Fu** you" Yoongi spat out and hoped Jaehyun understood him from behind the muffler. 

"I'm already f**ing you princess, but watch your pretty mouth" Jaehyun slapped Yoongi on his right cheek ( it'll surely bruise ) before grabbing Yoongi's wrist tightly. 

"Beg" Jaehyun growled with anger flaring in his eyes. His pace picked up and he started slamming into Yoongi harder and faster. The pain was too much for the younger so he let out a loud yelp. 

"P-please s-s-stop" It hurt so bad, he just wanted it to end. 

"You have such a pretty mouth.." Jaehyun pulled out before taking the muffler off. Yoongi could tell what he wanted to do so he bit his lip and shut his eyes. His wrists hurt, his back and entrance were killing him and he didn't have much fight left in him. 

Jaehyun forced his mouth open and shoved his member immediately inside. 

"Fu** yeah, you like it when I fill you up right? Mm such a wh*re. I bet you would like to be fu**ed in the a** at the same time right? Fu**ing sl*t" Jaehyun's hand gripped Yoongi's member making the younger choke. Just then Jaehyun deep throated Yoongi so he started coughing around Jaehyun. 

"Ah yeah that feels good" Jaehyun moaned and picked up his pace. 

"Sh!t I'm close" He pulled out only to enter Yoongi yet again, "I'm gonna leave you- with something to remember me by" His thrusts were sloppy and rushed and soon enough his load filled Yoongi up. 

Jaehyun pulled out before hovering above Yoongi's mouth. 

"Lick it clean" And yet again he was forced to take Jaehyun in his mouth, licking his member clean and being forced to swallow his disgusting seed. 

"Oh good boy, such a good boy, I'll be back soon" Yoongi's heart dropped as Jaehyun untied him and shoved his things into his bag, slamming the door behind him. 

Yoongi sat there for a few moments before hurriedly getting up, only regretting it when pain shot through his whole body. He didn't care though, he needed to shower. To take the feeling of that monster's hands off of him. 

He made it to the bathroom and opened the shower on the highest heat, and stepped under it. The water was scalding hot, but Yoongi didn't care. He just wanted to scrub the feeling away. His skin turned red and hurt to touch, there was blood coming out from in between his legs ( apparently he scrubbed too hard ) and he didn't realize when he sat in the tub screaming his heart out. 

He wanted to die.

He was sobbing uncontrollably and struggling to breathe, self hatred slowly making itself present in Yoongi's mind. 

He was so pathetic. A fu**ing b*tch, 

How can he call himself a man after this? Did God really fu**ing hate him that much? What was he supposed to do now? What will others think of him? What will he do? 

Yoongi reached his breaking point. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

"Seokie!" Hoseok snapped his head up at the sound of Seokjin's voice and blinked. 

"Oh sorry hyung, what were you saying?" They were currently having their lunch break and Hoseok couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong. You know when you're just...anxious? He just wanted to go back home and spend the day with Yoongi. 

"You're out of it today..what's up?" Seokjin tilted his head at the younger as he stabbed his salad. 

"Ah...I don't know hyung, I just can't shake the feeling of something being wrong" Hoseok voiced his thoughts earning a hum from Seokjin. 

"Well..do you know what could be the reason?" Hoseok looked ahead in thought before sighing. 

"Ugh no clue" The nurse let his head drop on the table and groaned. 

"That hurt" 

"You're an idio-"

"Dr.Kim ! Nurse Hoseok! You're needed in ER" Nurse Rosie looked like she was panicking and Hoseok felt that nagging feeling come back tenfold. 

Both boys abandoned their meals and got up, heading for ER. 

"What happened?" Seokjin asked with his eyebrows furrowed in worry. 

"A suicide attempt came in, Dr.Park said you knew this boy and she says that maybe he won't struggle so much if you're there" Immediately the two looked at each other. They didn't know any patient that came here except for...

"Yoongi" Hoseok whispered before picking up his speed and running to the ER. He couldn't lose Yoongi. That boy was the only reason Hoseok is alive. He gave him strength, and the dancer couldn't imagine his life without him. 

Please be okay. Please. 

"Hey it's okay Mr.Min, keep your eyes open for me" 

The sight that greeted Hoseok was frightening. 

Well, not the sight itself but the boy who was laying there. 

"This will be unpleasant" They were trying to insert the tube, but he was struggling and crying. Much like the first time he was here, except worse. 

Seokjin gathered his bearings quicker than Hoseok and rushed to Yoongi's side. 

"Hey Yoongi it's me, Seokjin hyung..please calm down so we can help you" the younger didn't hear anything, or actually couldn't. There were hands all over him and he was panicking. Why was he here anyway? Shouldn't he be dead? Why weren't they letting him die? 

How did he get here? 

"No good, we need a tube stabilizer and someone prob him up so we can restrain him" As soon as the word ' restrain ' left her mouth Yoongi's struggle intensified. 

That's when Hoseok snapped out of his daze. 

"Yoongi.." All his movement stopped once he heard the older's soft voice. “You won’t leave me right?” He whispered and Yoongi blinked. He would never leave him, but why can't he say it out loud? 

"Okay okay it's in, Yoongi don't forget to breathe" Seokjin said as Dr.Park injected warm water into the tube. 

Yoongi started coughing and gagging. His throat already hurt and now it was ten times worse. 

"Breathe" everything was starting to blur and Yoongi thought that must be it. He was finally leaving this sh!tty hole and he couldn't be more relieved. 

However, Seokjin won't allow it. 

"No no no, keep your eyes open Yoongi, please stay strong for hyung" The boy whined and opened his eyes wider. 

"You can do this Yoongi" 

But what if he didn't want to? 

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

Yoongi woke up with the shittiest feeling in the world. 

His lower back and bottom were killing him, along with his throat and stomach. Not to mention his skin was burning him from the shower he had. 

"Yoongi? You're awake?" The rapper looked at the source of the voice to see Jimin standing with worry etched on his face. 

Just as he was about to reply to the dancer, a series of coughing left his throat, leaving it more agitated than it already was. 

Safe to say, Yoongi wanted to die. Literally. 

"Oh thank God..you fu**ing idiot! What were you thinking?" Jimin had tears streaming down his face, holding onto Yoongi's hand tightly as if the boy would disappear if he let go. 

Jimin was texting Yoongi and the older wasn't replying to him, which was odd. Yoongi's a light sleeper, even if he was asleep he would've woke up from the texts ( it happened once and Jimin feared for his life at that time ). So when there was no reply, he called and still...no one responded. The dancer being the angel he is, went to Hoseok's and Yoongi's apartment and saw the door already opened. 

That's when he panicked. 

Running into the apartment he heard the shower water running making him relax a bit. However when he knocked on the door and nobody responded, his heart just about dropped. 

He managed to break the door ( even though he looks small he's pretty strong ) and saw a naked, bruised Yoongi leaning against the tub. His skin had blisters all over it, handprints were on his hips and wrists. 

Jimin was scared. 

"Yoongi? Hyung? Oh man what do I do?" He rushed to a random room and grabbed boxers and a hoodie. Unlocking his phone, and dialing the ambulance in the process of dressing the older. 

Everything after that was a messy blur for the youngest. 

As soon as Jimin's small hands gripped his, it was as if nothing happened to him today. Yoongi forgot about the pain in his body and just..basked in Jimin's warmth. 

"I'll call the doctor and get you some water okay hyung?" Upon receiving a nod the dancer reluctantly let go of Yoongi's hand and left the room. 

Yoongi stared at the white ceiling with tears blurring his vision. No matter what he thought or did, the tears weren't stopping. He only felt calm once Jimin held his hand and now, he was all alone. The rapper couldn't help but be mad at Hoseok, the one who promised to protect him. It was pathetic of Yoongi to blame someone else, however a small part of him couldn't help doing so. 

"Yoongi" Also curse Yoongi and his luck, of coarse he would be admitted to this hospital and of coarse Seokjin is the one who's assigned to take care of him. 

Really the younger wanted to shove a water bottle down his throat to cut off his air supply and die. 

"Here hyung" Well lookie here, a water bottle. Maybe God didn't hate him after all? 

The rapper took small sips and winced as he swallowed, "Yoongi..will you tell me what happened?" The boy glanced at himself. His body was covered with bandages ( probably for the burns ) and he had an IV in both hands. Yes, he's avoiding to answer Seokjin because...what if the judges him? Yoongi knows the older isn't that kind of a person but he's scared. 

He feels like he's lost everything. 

"Listen baby.....I know what happened to you I just need to know how it happened. Just please cooperate with me so that I know how to help, you can trust me right?" Well, it was expected wasn't it? Seokjin's a doctor after all. So why was Yoongi crying? Why did he feel so exposed? 

"Hy-hyung!" Jimin clutched Yoongi's hand and threaded the other in the older's mint colored hair. The dancer couldn't stand seeing Yoongi like this. His Hyung who was always so confident and carried himself with pride, now looked like a shell of who he used to be. He seemed so broken and lost. Like he didn't know what to do next. 

"It's okay...you're not alone" Jimin hoped he soothed Yoongi if only a little. Lord knows he would do anything to make his hyung feel better. 

"Please...not right now" Yoongi whispered and the other two in the room shared a look. Seokjin sighed and nodded. 

"Whenever you feel that you're ready, we're all here for you okay?" 

That day, Yoongi went to sleep with Jimin's hand clasped in his and thoughts of where Hoseok was in his mind.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah i had a hard time writing this one, i apologize if it seems rushed or if theres any mistakes. i hope you liked this one, i worked really hard on it. love yourself and stay safe.


	22. I can be a fake self as long as you embrace me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to vote BTS on MAMA!! Army fighting! 
> 
> Also this chapter is shorter than all the others which makes me sad :(

Today was the same day as yesterday and the day before. Namjoon was wallowing in his self pity as per usual, nothing out of the ordinary here.

Ever since he moved into Seokjin's apartment, he's been feeling better and better each day, however on days like these where he forgets that he's not alone, and he ignores the little notes written by his hyung. Namjoon feels like he's back to square one. Like nothing has changed from the moment he moved out ( or rather kicked out ) of his shitty apartment complex.

"Namjoonie?" Said male looked up as his name was called and saw Seokjin standing in the doorway.  Needless to say, the older looked horrible. Red puffy eyes ( he looks like he's been crying for years ). Messed up hair and overly wrinkled clothes. He just looked like a mess, and not a hot one at that.

"You look awful" The DJ voiced his thoughts and instead of receiving a slap or a yell like he expected, Seokjin merely nodded.

"Yeah, I know" Taking his coat off and hanging it on the hanger, the doctor sighed and ran a hand through the nest called hair. Seokjin had too many thoughts going on in his head and to be honest, he was thinking so hard his brain might short circuit.

"Hey...how do you feel if someone moved in with us?" Namjoon hummed as he looked around their place. It was a big apartment- actually Namjoon thinks it would be classified as a dorm.

The younger wouldn't mind, it's not like one person will take up so much space. ( Especially Yoongi, but Namjoon doesn't know that ).

"That's fine hyung, why did you ask so suddenly though?" Seokjin studied the rapper's face with furrowed eyebrows. He contemplated telling Namjoon about Yoongi, but he just couldn't bring himself to. It's not like he doesn't trust him, no God forbid. He let the boy move in with him and he has his complete trust. It's just that Yoongi didn't seem okay with opening up to Seokjin- and the two are pretty close. so he's sure Yoongi wouldn't appreciate Namjoon finding out what happened.

The doctor knew leaving Yoongi alone in his and Hoseok's apartment wasn't a wise idea. Really leaving Yoongi alone ( period ) wouldn't be a wise idea.

Seokjin's and Namjoon's schedules are opposites. After all, Namjoon worked as a DJ, meaning he works at night. Not to mention, only on weekends. As for Seokjin almost all of his shifts are in the morning. Therefore, Yoongi would never be left alone.

The question is; will Yoongi agree on moving in with them?

"Never mind that Joon"

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yoongi was back at the apartment. Hoseok took a sick leave for taking care of a family member, he pulled some strings here and there ( since Yoongi wasn't real blood family ) and made it work somehow.

For some reason the small rapper seemed mad at Hoseok and really the nurse doesn't get why. If anything it should be the other way around. It's tearing at Hoseok to see Yoongi so cold towards him. He doesn't look at him, and if he talks to him, his replies are sharp and said with a tone so dark it chilled Hoseok to the core.

Hoseok blames himself for what happened and Yoongi treating him that way wasn't making anything any better. He wants to hold the boy and comfort him so bad, but he couldn't. He feared if he so as much touched him, Yoongi would freak out.   
Currently said boy was in his room and Hoseok was making a small dinner for the two of them. Hoping to make amends with this meal.

The rapper curled on his bed and shut his eyes tight, only to have flashbacks of what happened in this room, on this bed in his head.

Really he could only take so much before breaking, and who was better at holding him together than Hoseok?

Putting his anger ( and nonexistent pride ) aside, he shot out of his room slamming his door behind him and heading straight for the kitchen where noise was coming from. To his surprise ( not ) Hoseok was already looking at the doorway with a frightened expression. The noise probably ( obviously ) alerted the older and caused him to pick up a spatula. The sight would've made Yoongi laugh if he wasn't so desperate to feel safe and sound.

"H-hyung" Hoseok's face immediately softened and he dropped the supposedly effective weapon  
. As soon as the nurse opened his arms for Yoongi to walk into, a small body wrapped itself around Hoseok's. His heart clenched as he felt Yoongi's entire frame shake against his, and he tightened his grip on the younger.

"Y-y-yo-you promised" Yoongi was sobbing at this point, his small hiccups filling the apartment. Hoseok could only rub his back and whisper apologies that fell on deaf ears.

"I'm so sorry Yoongi, Hyung is so sorry" Yoongi sniffed and buried his face in the older's neck.

"It hurt hyung" Hoseok closed his eyes in hopes of getting rid of the tears that blurred his vision. He sighed and stepped away from the boy.

"Yoongi, Seokjin hyung told me that he's ready to have you move in with him anytime. I promised you I would protect you, but I didn't and I'm so sorry for that. I think it would be best if you lived with Seokjin" Hoseok could feel his heart tear in pieces as he said those words, even more so at the look of betrayal on Yoongi's face.

"I don't w-want to" Yoongi whispered as he glanced at the ground, fiddling with his jumper's sleeve.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not asking"

"But Hyung-"

"No buts Yoongi. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. At Seokjin's you won't be left alone okay? Just please..."

"So now I'm a kid to you? You think I need someone to babysit me?" Yoongi's sadness turned to anger as he glared at Hoseok and really the older was starting to get mad.

"You're sure acting fu**ing tough for someone who..." Hoseok stopped himself before saying anything else, however the look on Yoongi's face told him he got what he was going to say, and well....Hoseok fu**ed up.

"Oh no keep going! What was it you were going to say? For someone who got raped?! Jesus fu**ing Christ, if you were so fu**ing disgusted by me then you should've said so. It's pathetic to try and find another excuse if you want me out so bad. I don't fu**ing need you or Seokjin" Before Hoseok could reply to the rapper and correct him, he was out of the kitchen in an instance.

"You're an idiot Jung Hoseok"

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

"Yes hyung I fu**ed up big time, no I think he's packing his stuff- I don't know where he's going he's pissed off at me....well I can stall for a bit but you have to hurry" Hoseok hung the phone up and sat on the couch with a deep sigh. Man, Yoongi is going to hate him after this.

It's not like Yoongi's a child and he wants him to live with Seokjin, because he needs babysitting or whatever. He really wants the boy to be safe. Especially now, since his name is starting to rise in the rap and underground industry. If anybody knew what happened then his career would be over. The underground isn't merciful at all.

Yoongi sat with his back to the door, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He really didn't know how to feel right now, what to do. He thought him and Hoseok were good friends, he thought he had a person to count on. To think that the boy who he trusted would be this disgusted by him fills his heart with agony.

Everything was already packed, he just couldn't bring himself to get up and out. Because even if Hoseok hated him, he still loved the older with all his heart ( well, what was left of it anyways- and oh...this sounds familiar right? ).

A knock came on his door and he blinked to get rid of his tears. Getting up, he opened his door to see a broad shouldered man standing there.

"Come here you idiot" Seokjin pulled him into a tight hug that warmed Yoongi all over.

"Yoongi listen-"

"Shut up" Hoseok's eyes widened at the boy's response and he gulped.

"Please just let me-"

"Shut the fu** up. I don't want to hear it"

"Hoseok just let us talk for a moment alright?" Seokjin said and Hoseok looked at the ground before turning away from the pair. Seokjin directed his gaze back to Yoongi and sighed.

"I know you don't want to move in with me, but please just do it for the meantime okay? Until you find a safe place and then I promise I'll let you do whatever you want" Yoongi nodded slowly and sniffed.

"Okay"

Grabbing his suitcases and back bag, he put his headphones on as if to avoid hearing Hoseok and followed Seokjin out the door.

The dancer stayed quite as he watched the two leave the apartment. See, Yoongi hated him ( they're both idiots really ) so why make the boy hate him more? It's better to just let things go. Maybe it's better if Hoseok and Yoongi cut ties, they depended on each other too much anyways.

And so Hoseok, trying to ignore the sadness in his heart, stood unmoving as the door closed.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Seokjin and Yoongi stood in front of the apartment door silently. The older studying Yoongi's expression.

"You know, Namjoonie lives here with me. Are you okay with that?" The younger sighed then shrugged. "Do I have a choice?"

Seokjin smiled as he put the key into the keyhole and unlocked the door. "Not really"

Both boys walked inside and were greeted by a laying Namjoon. Seokjin rolled his eyes with a smile upon seeing the younger sprawled out on the couch. Yoongi felt his heart hammer in his chest for some reason. It's not like he wasn't close with Namjoon, they've gone out a few times and texted each other a lot. It's just that he's...ashamed, and now he feels really awkward and out of place. God, he's just like a homeless puppy, going from house to house until someone takes him in. It's so pathetic, Yoongi was thoroughly disgusted by himself.

"Y-Yoongi Hyung?!!" Namjoon finally noticed the two standing in the doorway, before his eyes fell to the suitcases. By the looks of it, Yoongi must be the one moving in with them. Now Namjoon realizes why Seokjin asked him if he was okay with a new roommate. However, Seokjin failed to mention that their roommate will be Min Yoongi aka AgustD aka I'll-cut-your-balls-and-feed-it-to-you-if-you-disrespect-me.

Yeah, the youngest was kinda scared...

"Hey Namjoon-ah" Yoongi looked at the ground in embarrassment and shyness while Namjoon stood up and did a full 90° degree bow.

"Joon, Yoongi will stay with us for a while" Namjoon nodded since really the older didn't leave room for any discussion, and to be honest the DJ didn't want to try his luck on questioning Seokjin anyways.

"Okay Hyung I'm sure it'll be fun" The rapper offered a dimpled smile and maybe just maybe Yoongi smiled back. If you asked him though? He just had a cramp in his lips.

"Welcome to our....Seokjoon? Namjin? Namjin! Namjin Household" Seokjin smiled widely and Yoongi sighed.

What's he getting himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but why is this becoming so angsty T-T. my sope couple are upset with each other aghhhhhh whyyyyyy TTTTT. TBH I have no clue- well I have a clue and I wrote maybe 100 words for the next chapter, but idk... maybe you'll see it next week?? okay I'll give myself a deadline. Next chapter will be up next Thursday!   
> ( hopefully )! Hope you liked this, Love yourself <3


	23. I don't even know my own self, so who can know me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's said that so many times...how broken he is. Helplessness and hopelessness, is all he's feeling. He's so drained out of energy, he wants to give up. He doesn't want to keep going anymore. Yoongi's fu**ed up in so many ways and he wants to stop caring, he really does. The boy doesn't want to remember, he wants to forget everything and move on, or at least try to. The memories keep playing in his head over and over like a broken record.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi~ I missed you all <3!!

Min Yoongi was dead. Figuratively, but he felt that literally.

Cooped up in his temporary ( he'd like to think that ) room for the past three days, refusing to eat anything and refusing to see anyone. People have been coming and going, Hoseok being one of them, however no one was able to drag him out of his safe haven.

He's said that so many times...how broken he is. Helplessness and hopelessness, is all he's feeling. He's so drained out of energy, he wants to give up. He doesn't want to keep going anymore. Yoongi's fu**ed up in so many ways and he wants to stop caring, he really does. The boy doesn't want to remember, he wants to forget everything and move on, or at least try to. The memories keep playing in his head over and over like a broken record.

Why won't it all end? Why can't he forget? It seems that his brain erased every single memory except for that twisted one. I don't want it. Yoongi wants everything to just disappear and go away. He doesn't like to feel so helpless, so pathetic. He doesn't want anyone's help, the rapper wants to depend on himself, however deep down he knows he can't. Deep down he knows that's why he's living with Seokjin. He's weak.

He doesn't like the feeling that's in his chest, the feeling that something is always wrong. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't live. He's driven himself to despair and he can't seem to get out of it. He thought he was okay, that with Hoseok he got better, but when did life ever work out the way he wanted? He thought everything will turn out fine, but it didn't. There's a huge weight on his small chest that needs lifting. How can he lift it all by himself though? It's unbearable, it's dragging him down, it's making him go back to the way he was.

But. But...maybe he was never okay? maybe he never got better? Maybe he was just fooling himself and Hoseok. Although he can run away from everything, he can't run away from himself. As much as he wants to, he can't. He just can't.

****************************

"Yoongi if you don't come out I'm going to break the damn door and you're going to fu**ing fix it" Namjoon's angry voice barked from outside Yoongi's room, leaving the small rapper to shove his head into his pillow. Whatever, it's not like Yoongi cares about his fortune ( it's not that much really ) or what happens to it. He'd rather just rot in here and have his money given to charities or something.

Yes, he was this far gone.

"Min Yoongi! I'm not fu**ing with you! I will break that door" Blah Blah blah. Ask Yoongi if he gives a sh!t?

"Fine. I'm coming in you a**hole" Resisting the snore that wanted to escape him, he shoved his head under the pillow and covered his body with his blanket.

Fu** Namjoon and his threats. Also he's getting his ass whipped once he comes in for talking to Yoongi like that. He's ashamed and he's been disgraced, but at least he still has a teeny tiny little bit of pride left.

True to his words, Namjoon being the God of destruction he is broke the door in one kick. Yoongi despite acting tough, his heart was beating a million miles per second. He wasn't alone in his paradise anymore, no he had company. A very unwelcomed company.

"Oh God did something die in here? Yoongi are you alive?" Still ignoring the younger, Yoongi closed his eyes tightly and didn't make a sound. Maybe if he thought Yoongi died he'd bury him and let him die for real.

He just wanted to be alone for....well the rest of his life?

"Hyung.." Wow look who decided to use honorifics. Fu** Namjoon is so polite and respectful towards his elders! Jungkook should definitely learn from him.

"Leave me alone" Yoongi's voice was hoarse and scratchy from not being used for a long time. Namjoon could feel his heart physically break because of seeing his once strong, witty hyung like that. His hyung that held himself with pride, that walked with his head held high, was no longer.

"No, we've left you alone for three days I think that's enough. Now please get up and take a shower while Seokjinnie hyung makes some food okay? You haven't eaten and that's not good for your health Yoongi hyung. No matter what happened to you, you should take care of yourself. And I know that you don't feel like it or that you don't feel like being alive, but it'll get better. Everything in time will be better" The younger knows how Yoongi feels. He's been there ( well not to the extent of being...raped ) and he knows how much Yoongi wants to give up. Giving up is always easier than fighting, but won't that mean losing yourself?

"You...you know" it was more a statement than a question.

"Yes...I pried until Seokjin hyung told me" And Namjoon couldn't lie to him.

"I promise you. I promise you hyung that wherever that fu**er is, I'll find him and I'll fu**ing end him" Namjoon radiated anger, frustration and so much care Yoongi could've drowned in it.

And now...Yoongi feels a teeny tiny little bit better.

*****************

After taking a much needed shower and cursing himself because he hadn't done it earlier, he could feel just how much his strength weakened. He was so tired in the middle of his shower, he sat down on the floor of tub.

As he opened his suitcase ( yes imagine everything is still packed and he hadn't moved a thing ) the first item of clothes he saw was Hoseok's damn ugly sweater that made him look like a grandma. Why was it even in Yoongi's suitcase?

He should give it to him later..

Grabbing his hoodie and sweatpants, he got dressed and slowly made his way out of the room. He wasn't ready to face the world yet, it's just that Namjoon gave him a teeny tiny little bit ( he's going to keep saying that ) of strength.

"Yoongi! Come sit down, food is almost done" Sighing, the rapper sat down at the kitchen table and stared at his only hyung's back as he worked. If Yoongi was being honest, in his closeness meter, Hoseok comes first then Seokjin. Since he and Hoseok were no longer friends ( he'd like to think that ) Seokjin took his place ( he also likes to think that, deep down- no he knows nobody can replace Hoseok ).

"Hyung..you know his name right?" Namjoon asked carefully, as if he's treading over a ticking bomb that would explode at any second. He kinda is right?

"Please..I don't want to talk about it" Came Yoongi's reply.

"But hyu-"

"Namjoon! He said he doesn't want to talk so leave him be" Yoongi takes back his words, Seokjin can definitely replace Hoseok.

"Sorry..." Namjoon smiled sheepishly and Yoongi adverted his gaze to the table.

"It's okay"

After a few minutes a steaming hot plate of ramen entered Yoongi's line of sight and honestly his brain seemed to register he was starving making a loud grumbling sound.

Of coarse, Namjoon and Seokjin pretended they didn't hear a single thing.

And Yoongi was a teeny tiny bit grateful.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The three boys found themselves sitting in the living room with a movie playing to distract them. It was some romcom that Yoongi couldn't give two sh!ts about, but hey! Seokjin seems to like it. However, just as Yoongi forced his brain to focus on the TV the door bell rang, announcing a visitor.

Naturally Namjoon got up and went to see who it was, only to be surprised when he opened the door.

It was Hoseok.

Coming to see Yoongi for the fourth time.

"Hey Joon-ah" The younger smiled and ushered for Hoseok to come in.

"Hey, Yoongi's finally out of his cave" The dancer's eyes widened as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, before nervousness took over him.

He was supposed to cut ties with Yoongi right? Well guess what? He couldn't. He just missed the small ball of wit and savageness and he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Do you think...will he talk to me?" Hoseok asked.  
Namjoon only sighed and shrugged.

"Let's hope so...now come on" With each step Hoseok took, his heart beat quickened. He was so scared of being rejected ( wow they sound like boyfriends ) and losing his chance of talking to Yoongi. His Yoongi..

"Joon who- oh" Seokjin's eyes travelled between Hoseok and Yoongi nervously. Watching, waiting.

When their eyes locked, Hoseok could feel his breath get punched out of him.

Hate, hate, so much hate.

Yoongi was giving him a look filled with hatred. Disgust, anger.

Yoongi hated him.

His Yoongi.

"Y-Yoongi...can we talk?" Despite feeling like his heart broke and shattered into many pieces, Goseok still managed to spit out the words he wanted to say. It was up to the younger if he wanted to accept them or not.

"Get the fu** out of here, I don't want to see your face or fu**ing hear your voice anymore Jung Hoseok. I think you made all your points clear back in the apartment. I don't want to hear your pity excuses, so fu**ing leave" The nurse had tear filled eyes as he stared at Yoongi. The boy who was once his best friend, his soul partner.

"Yoongi just-"

"Get the fu** out!" Yoongi shot up and yelled, his usually lazy eyes now wide open in anger.

"Yoongi calm down!" Seokjin grabbed Yoongi's shoulders in an attempt to steady him, to anchor him. The eldest rubbed circles on the smaller boy's back and whispered soft nothings into his ear.

Namjoon's and Seokjin's gaze locked in a silent agreement, so wordlessly the DJ grabbed Hoseok's hand and lead him out of the apartment and into the cold night.

"Let's take a walk hyung, you'll feel better"

Hoseok could only tighten his hold on Namjoon's hand and watch as his tears fell on the pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I haven't uploaded something in so long :-: I'm sorry for the wait! I have a lot of projects and exams so I kinda need to focus on that! Promise I'll be a better author from now on lmao. I hope you liked this everyone~ don't forget to vote on MAMA and love yourself <3


	24. Hug me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok got quite and glanced at his lap for a brief moment, the action going noticed by Jungkook's piercing gaze. Little did Hoseok know, Jungkook's noticed how his demeanor changed the past three weeks. The usual ' shooting rainbow out of his... bottom ' aura completely gone. He seemed like he was faking all his smiles and laughter. Hoseok wasn't being himself. His hyung now was always slouching, frowning whenever he thought nobody was looking. Seeming so troubled and upset, like something was constantly bothering him. The maknae knew he couldn't do anything but try to cheer his hyung up. And okay he may be really bad at it, but at least he was trying, so sue him.

Yoongi.

Min Yoongi.

That was the boy who kept Hoseok going on. The only reason Hoseok even smiled, and now since he's gone. Well nothing mattered anymore.

He sat on the couch with a tub of ice cream in his hands and a blanket covering his body. Today was Friday and instead of cuddling with Yoongi as usual, he was all alone. And fu** he misses his best friend. Remembering all of the words Yoongi said to him brought tears to his eyes. Having failed someone you loved so much was the worst feeling in the world. Having them hate you is even worse. What was Hoseok supposed to do?

His phone rang, cutting his train of thoughts and to be honest Hoseok was fully intending on ignoring it but the name on the screen forced him to answer.

"Kookie? What's up?"

"Hyung hi! Tae and I are going out to have a couple of drinks. Wanna come with us?" Thinking about it, Hoseok could definitely use a distraction and since the two maknaes didn't know a thing about Yoongi, he assumes it won't be brought up.

"Sure"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Maybe it was a bad idea after all. Taehyung and Jungkook just wouldn't stop bickering for the life of him, add alcohol into their system and boom the most annoying duo in the world.

"Taehyung just who do you think you are? Aish you're so annoying" Huh says you, was what Hoseok wanted to say. He didn't want to get involved though, ho no.

"Taehyung?? It's Hyung you little brat, wah you're so disrespectful"

"Oh..what if I wanted to call you Tae hyung? Not like Taehyung as in your full name, but Tae......" Jungkook paused for a long time before continuing, "Hyung. You get it? Like I'm shortening your name and adding Hyung to it. How would you know? Does it make sense?" The two stopped their bickering and looked like they were in deep thought. Hoseok just laughed loudly at the state they were in and ushered for the bartender to come take his order. Well, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to go out with the Taekook couple.

"Am I right Hoseokie hyung?" Jungkook gave Hoseok the biggest doe eyes and really the nurse wanted to crush the youngest in a hug. He was just so cute.

"You're absolutely right Kookie" Tae just blinked a few times before downing the shot Hoseok just ordered.

"Hey!! I was going to drink that" The dancer said, his protest completely falling on deaf ears.

"Was, past tense" How was he even talking like that while drunk? Was Taehyung a genius in disguise? Hoseok couldn't even amuse the thought as he snored and ordered yet another drink.

Hoseok got quite and glanced at his lap for a brief moment, the action going noticed by Jungkook's piercing gaze. Little did Hoseok know, Jungkook's noticed how his demeanor changed the past three weeks. The usual ' shooting rainbow out of his... bottom ' aura completely gone. He seemed like he was faking all his smiles and laughter. Hoseok wasn't being himself. His hyung now was always slouching, frowning whenever he thought nobody was looking. Seeming so troubled and upset, like something was constantly bothering him. The maknae knew he couldn't do anything but try to cheer his hyung up. And okay he may be really bad at it, but at least he was trying, so sue him. 

"Hey Hobi hyung?" Jungkook nudged the older with his finger, successfully earning his attention. Surprise surprise, Hoseok wore that fake ass smile again, and Jungkook hated it so much. Hated how Hoseok felt that he couldn't be himself around his own friends. They were friends right? if you weren't friends with someone you wouldn't go drinking with them right? Oh God, maybe Hoseok doesn't think of him as his friend, maybe that's why he isn't comfortable with him. Blaming the alcohol in his system, Jungkook's eyes watered and his bottom lip quivered slightly.

"Oh God no please don't start drunk crying on me" And Hoseok wasn't helping at all.

"H-hyung, we-we're friends right?" The maknae tried his best to steady his voice, but he failed. Big time.

"What? Of coarse we are Jungkookie! Why are you even asking that!" Hoseok said and was startled into a straight sitting position once the brown haired boy grabbed him in a tight hug.

"B-because hy-hyung isn't being himself. Y-you won't tell u-us what's wrong. Y-you keep Sm-smiling like you're fine, b-ut I can see you're not. Wh-why ar-are you faking yo-your smiles hyung?" Hoseok could literally feel his heart drop. Or did someone grab it and crush it? He really doesn't know, all he knows is that his heart hurt. Either for the maknae or himself.

"I'm sorry.." He tightened his hold on the youngest  as he felt another pair of arms wrap around him.

"You all seem sad and I don't like it when you're sad" Taehyung remarked as one of his hands threaded through Hoseok's hair. They must look so weird to people around them, however to those three nothing mattered at the moment.

"Promise that you'll tell us what's bothering you hyung. I hate seeing you like this" Jungkook said after he was done with his emotional breakdown. To be honest, he looks kinda sober now. Which means...if Hoseok promised him, he'll remember.

Well damn.

"Okay..I promise"

"Aish this was supposed to get hyung out of his mood Jungkookie not put him into it more. Come on let's get out of here and do something fun!" Taehyung grabbed both boys and dragged them out of the stuffy club.

Once outside, the fresh air sobered them all up enough to have a handle on what they were doing. Fortunately ( for the artist ) it just so happened that there was a skating park right next to the convenient store Taehyung was dragging them to.

"Let's get ice Popsicles!" The artist exclaimed making Hoseok groan. He swear if he eats anymore ice cream the body he's worked so hard on will disappear underneath fat.

"I've eat-"

"Nope, no space for arguing here hyung" Jungkook smiled and rubbed at his eyes that were starting to itch from his crying earlier. Weirdly enough, he wasn't feeling embarrassed at all. There has to be some alcohol in his body, or else he would've died out of embarrassment already.

"Fine, but I get the green one"

"And I want the red!" Jungkook raised his hand that was intertwined with Hoseok's like a child, barely stopping himself from bouncing in his place.

"Whatever the blue is the yummiest" The maknae suddenly gasped and glared at Taehyung as if the sentence offended him personally.

"Not! The red is definitely the best!"

"What are you on about? Are you crazy Jeon Jungkook?! The blue is the most amazing taste in this planet! Your taste buds have something wrong with them! Let Seokjin hyung check them for you" Hoseok doesn't really understand why they're fighting over an ice cream flavor, but who was he to judge? Yoongi and him have fought over which Pokémon was the best before.

Yoongi.

_No, no brain stop it_!

The store's bell rang softly, announcing customers. The maknaes immediately went to the ice cream refrigerators and grabbed a box of ice popsicles. Hoseok just watched as they bickered about yet another thing with a fond smile.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The trio were sitting at the top of the skating ramp, popsicles already demolished, leaving the wooden sticks for them to play with.

Yes, they used it as swords and Taehyung can proudly say he's won each time.

"Don't you love going out late at night? When Seoul almost seems asleep. Not a soul in sight.." Taehyung said. His head tilted up, staring at the moon with twinkling eyes that were more beautiful than the stars above. Or so Jungkook thought.

"Yeah..it's so peaceful. Especially since you two decided to stop bickering, thank God for that" Hoseok smiled once he earned a laugh from the two boys.

Taehyung patted his lap once for Hoseok to lay his head on it and the older didn't even hesitate. Really the nurse loved having his hair played with ( a habit his mom made him grow ) and he felt so calm whenever someone did it. Apparently, Taehyung picked up on that.

"It would be so fun if all seven of us go out. Seokjin hyung, Yoongi hyung, Namjoon hyung and Jiminie" Taehyung said and noticed how the maknae's face turned sour at the mention of Jimin.

Also.... Hoseok.

Taehyung has felt that something was wrong ever since he turned up to their meeting place without Yoongi. It was weird seeing them separated, just like it was weird being separated from Jungkook. When he mentioned Yoongi's name, Hoseok's expression showed so much saddens, like the mere mention of the rapper brought physical pain to Hoseok.

"Mm it would be" If Hoseok could get Yoongi to talk to him that is.

"I just have to make Jungkookie and Jiminie friends and then we can go out and raise hell!" _And make me and Yoongi talk,_ was what Hoseok wanted to add. He stayed quite like the first time though.

"Wait a moment? Jungkook and Jimin aren't friends?" Hoseok asked in surprise as the information downed on him.

"Nope. Kookie hates Jiminie" Jungkook puffed out a breath in distaste and glared at the metal ramp they were sitting on. Poor ramp, whatever did it do to receive Jungkook's glare?

"WHAT?!! How? He's such a sweetheart though..." Hoseok stared at Jungkook in shock. He never ever thought he'd hear the words Jimin and hate in the same sentence. That short boy was an angel, literally.

"I know right? They need to sit in a room and confess how stupid they are for not becoming friends"

"No" Jungkook simply said.

 

And really...Hoseok takes back what he said, this definitely wasn't a bad idea, not at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter?? idk i think i'm getting worse fdnjjvnjn. armies dont forget to vote on MAMA!! love yourself <3


	25. I call you moonchild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know fam, it was supposed to be on the weekend but HEy I wAs bUsy dOiNg...thinGs. 
> 
> Also, yesterday was my birthday so try not to be too mad at me? *tries to be cute but fails*

Namjoon was sitting in the living room, wearing his glasses and reading a book- or trying to read. His thoughts were occupied with Hoseok though.

The boy hasn't visited them for a month now, and as much as Yoongi says he's glad, everyone can see he's not.

Said rapper was sitting on an armchair, his headphones on and working on what Namjoon assumed was a new song. He seemed focused, kinda irritated and so into what he was doing. Also if they were in anime Yoongi would have a dark aura floating around him, kinda like death.

"Yoongi hyung? Yoongi! Yah!" And apparently he couldn't hear anything or else Namjoon would be dead.

The DJ got up from his seat and headed to his room, wore a long sleeved shirt, sweatpants and then grabbed a jacket for Yoongi

Going back to the living room, Namjoon said his prayers before throwing the jacket at Yoongi. "What the fu**?" A heavy glare was directed at Namjoon's direction and funny enough Yoongi thought he was intimidating the younger.

But, nah that was in the past. When Namjoon and Yoongi weren't living together. When Namjoon didn't know how soft Yoongi actually was.

"Come on we're going out" Yoongi raised an eyebrow and resisted the urge to punch the boy, or kill him. Or both. Punch then kill, sounds like a great stress reliever. Better than any squishy ball or spinner.

"The fu** do you mean we? And why the hell are you throwing sh!t at me?! Get-"

"Can you shut up and wear the jacket so we can go? if you don't do it yourself I'll do it for you and haul your skinny a** out of here" Don't worry, Namjoon wrote his will, said his prayers and he honestly wouldn't mind if he died now. He lived a good albeit a little sh!tty life. He loved it though.

"Ex-fu**ing-cuse me?" That's it, RIP Kim Namjoon. A loving son, DJ, rapper, brainiac and friend. Forever in our hearts.

"You heard me...." After a long pause Namjoon added, "Hyung"

You know...he's still respectful and all.

Yoongi just scoffed and was intent on ignoring the younger so he wore his headphones yet again and tried to focus on the beat that flowed into his ears.

But, just like Yoongi was intent, Namjoon was too. So being true to his promise, Yoongi's laptop was suddenly lifted out of his hands ( dragging his headphones along with it and breaking it in the process ).

"You fu**ing piece of- Namjoon you a** what are you doing?!!" If you would like to paint a picture, here it is.

Yoongi was thrown over Namjoon's shoulder and literally being hauled out of the apartment. The older just cursed and went limp in Namjoon's hold.

Yeah.....he hates his life. A lot. In fact he wishes that he could die from breathing fresh air. That way Namjoon would feel bad for the rest of his life,   
-and just for the fun of it - Yoongi would be sure to haunt him as a ghost. ( just kidding, Yoongi's ghost is too lazy for that ).

Once they were outside, the rapper was put on his feet and almost immediately, Namjoon got slapped. "That's for picking me up and for breaking my headphones- which for the record you're going to fix" Wow that's the most Yoongi's said to Namjoon ever since he moved in. Really, if life was a video game, at the very left corner of Namjoon's there would be an achievement unlocked. Maybe some EXP points too.

Okay, he's been hanging out with Jungkook and Tae too much.

Pouting, the younger proceeded to dress Yoongi in his jacket ( that was two sizes too big ) and tried his hardest to sound and look cute. "So hyungie doesn't get cold" and oh God he's cringing. He's never doing aeygo again. Never. Ever.

Yoongi rolled his eyes at Namjoon's pathetic try to seem cute and flat out ignored the warm feeling in his chest ( or well..attempted to ). Breathing the cold air made Yoongi feel like he was alive again. Like he was reborn...

After Namjoon pulled his arm through the sleeve, he grasped Yoongi's smaller hand and smiled.

"Let's walk around Hyung, it's really nice out isn't it?"

"Yeah...it is" Yoongi replied back. They walked together in comfortable silence, Namjoon unconsciously drawing patterns on Yoongi's soft skin. It was moments like these that settled the blond haired boy the most. Where his mind stopped working for a few blissful moments, where he didn't think about anything or anyone. Yoongi felt completely and utterly calm, and shit he needed this more than he thought. The refreshing breeze ruffling his hair, the warm sun on his skin and the beauty of it all.

He was calm.

"Say hyung, have you talked to Jiminie lately?" And way to ruin the calmness Kim Namjoon.

"No, haven't been talking to anyone really" The older admits he feels kinda bad and a little teeny tiny fraction of guilt.

Okay he feels REALLY guilty. Super duper guilty.

Jimin, the poor child who almost worried himself to death because of Yoongi, deserved better. The kid even visited their apartment daily for a whole week. Each time, Yoongi's refused to talk to him or even see him.

It's bad. Yoongi's bad.

"Don't you think you should text him or something?" Yoongi huffed ( because Namjoon was right -as always- and the older didn't like it -as always- )

"Yeah whatever I'll text him" At that Namjoon couldn't help the snore that escaped him. ( text him my ass ).

"Call him right now, you're not doing anything important" Yoongi gave the younger a side glance and a ' what the fu** ' look.

"No"

"Why? You were going to do it anyways, why not now?" Wow this guy is testing him today, like really REALLY testing him. Actually scratch that, the WORLD was testing him. Every single being was testing him. To be honest, Yoongi was seeing Satan, Devils, Goblins, whatever evil creatures existed, he saw them and now he wanted to kill something. Preferably someone.

Yeah, he was pissed off now thanks to one clumsy noodle.

"I'll call him when I fu**ing want to, stop pestering me jeez"

 _O....Kay someone's in a mood_ , Namjoon thought as he felt his heart beat increase and oh sh!t Yoongi's scary. The small smurf was terrifying, he takes back what he said about Yoongi not being intimidating. Oh man Namjoon should've wrote letters for his family and friends ( not like they cared ), he definitely should've. For all he knows Yoongi could push him in front of a truck now and kill him and then blame it on Namjoon's clumsiness.

The worst part? No one would doubt it.

"Namjoon, either you loosen your grip or let go of me, I prefer the latter"

The boy didn't even realize he was squeezing ( more like breaking ) Yoongi's hand until he pointed it out.

"Oh sorry hyung" Relaxing his hold on the older, they were once again surrounded by peace and quite.

Well...as quite as Seoul can get.

"Let's head back, I've had enough outdoor experience for this week"

"This WEEK? It hasn't even been fifteen minutes hyung!"

"Don't judge me"

"You're worse than teenagers"

"And you're worse than a toddler who's just learned how to use their hands and legs" Yoongi fired back making Namjoon vow never to mess with him again.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

It was time.

Yoongi's heart was beating fast, insanely fast. Really he didn't know why he was so nervous, but he was. He felt as though someone had a gun to his head and he could die at any given moment.   
Maybe it's the possibility that Jimin wouldn't forgive him? Or maybe that the younger would hate him? God knows Yoongi couldn't handle losing another person who's close to him.

Hoseok is enough.

Ring, ring-

"Hello?!" Jimin sounded frantic, surprised even. Like he couldn't believe YOONGI'S calling him.

"Hey Jiminie..."

"Oh my God hyung! Why the hell didn't you answer any of my calls? Do you know how worried I was? And then when I fu**ing visit you don't want to see me! Jesus Yoongi I was so scared-"

"I know i know I'm a shitty person, please oh please mighty Jimin will you forgive me?" Yoongi sniffed as if to make Jimin think he was crying.

Let me tell you.......it's not working.

"I'll forgive you under one condition"

Oh no.

"Yeah...what is it?"

"Can I come over?" It was funny how Jimin said it's a condition, yet he was still politely asking.

Yoongi stayed quite for a bit, sighing he decided not to be a d!ck.

"Okay, you can"

After agreeing to meet the younger, Yoongi sighed for the millionth time and unfortunately caught a glimpse of himself in the God forsaken mirror they had hanging in the hallway ( don't ask why, because Yoongi did and had to go through Seokjin's lecture about how handsome he is and how he needs to see himself everywhere ).

Safe to say, the rapper was horrified. Completely and utterly terrified.

"Holy crap who is this?" He said with wide eyes. His hair was greasy and oily, the blonde starting to fade and turn to Yoongi's natural black color. His eyes had dark bags underneath them and overall he looked like sh!t.

He was considering to greet Jimin like this. Show the boy he really isn't in the mood for any social interactions, but his human decency decided against it. So he ran to the bathroom and took the quickest shower his turtle speed could allow before going to his room and throwing a hoodie and sweatpants on.   
Running back to the living room, he was surprised to see Jimin already there ( curse Yoongi and his turtle speed ) and okay fu** now what?

"Y-Yoongi hyung! Hi" Said boy froze then gulped.

"Um....hi" Standing behind Jimin, Namjoon was smirking and mumbling something about Yoongi losing his swag.

He only sighed for the billionth time today.


	26. As time passes by, it feels like I'm becoming a monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi had a long bucket list ( half of it is related to sleeping one way or another ) ranging from extreme sh!t like bungee jumping to laying in a back of a truck, soft music playing while he watches the stars with his favorite person. 
> 
> However.
> 
> Now it's reduced to one thing and one thing only, and it's killing a certain boy with a tiny chili pepper.
> 
> Yeah, Park Jimin is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this the new schedule? who knows :3. 
> 
> jk. 
> 
> It is. 
> 
> Lol. 
> 
> So it's now; Saturdays: I tried  
> Mondays: YMMB 
> 
> good? I think so lmao. 
> 
> But honestly finals are coming and now I have monthly exams and I feel like I'm being suffocated to death. Not to mention the 283883838383 project I have to do. Kill me.

It was awkward. Really awkward.

To be honest, Jimin admits he's the awkwardest person to ever walk this planet, sh!t the word awkward was discovered because of Jimin, the boy who was currently sitting, staring at Yoongi.

He had surprises up his sleeve for the older, but they were so uncomfortable with each other that  he didn't know how to break the ice. The tension in the room was suffocating...

"So..how have you been?" Jimin found the courage to ask and Yoongi glanced at his lap. "Good" he said.

Everyone knew Yoongi was lying, even the furniture could freaking tell, so Jimin gave him a knowing look before scooting closer to him.

"Hyung...you know you don have to lie to me right?" Yoongi could literally feel his heart clench, and his hands start to shake. The older of the two just nodded, keeping his eyes trained on the lose thread in his hoodie.

"Good...so are you okay?" You know that moment where you've been feeling down the whole day ( more like years ) and when someone just says those magic words, those three forsaken words that manage to make the toughest of men bawl like a baby? Because that's exactly what Yoongi did.

"Oh Yoongi" Jimin pulled the boy into his chest, holding him as tight as he could.

The rapper was letting heart wrenching sobs out, clutching Jimin's sweatshirt as if his life depended on it. His tears wetting the boy's clothes, and breaking Jimin's heart in the process.

"I-i can't get it out of my h-head Jimin, I still feel so d-disgusting, so u-used" The dancer felt his own eyes water as he listened to his hyung crying so brokenly.

"It's okay baby, let it out" God knows how long they stayed like this. Yoongi buried deep in Jimin's chest, the younger rubbing his back and whispering softly in his ear.

The older felt mad.

Mad at himself, mad at the world, mad at humans. Just..mad.

Once his tears ran out, he pulled back slightly ( not fully detaching himself from the younger ) and wiped at his eyes with his sweaterpaws.

"So hyung, I brought hair dye with me since Namjoon hyung told me your hair is losing its color" It was so random and so out of the blue, Yoongi found himself not minding.

"Yeah..?"

"Mhm, wanna dye your hair?"

***********

Yoongi had a long bucket list ( half of it is related to sleeping one way or another ) ranging from extreme sh!t like bungee jumping to laying in a back of a truck, soft music playing while he watches the stars with his favorite person. 

However.

Now it's reduced to one thing and one thing only, and it's killing a certain boy with a tiny chili pepper.

Yeah, Park Jimin is dead.

"H-h-hyung I-its not b-bad-"

"NOT BAD? PARK FU**ING JIMIN MY HAIR IS  BLUE"

"So? It's cute! You fit the role of being a smurf really well now" Yoongi's jaw tightened and he let out a deep sigh. Tugging at his hair ever so softly, Yoongi observed how the light blue made him look even paler than he already was.

Really he looks nice, but the only problem he had was that it made him stand out too much. Like a fish out of water.

"Woah...aw it's like you're a real sm-"

"Finish that and you're dead Kim Namjoon" Jimin and Namjoon giggled before the DJ grabbed his phone and started snapping pictures of Yoongi.

"Omg you're so cute" Yoongi just groaned and threw himself on the couch.

"I hate you all"

"I literally just came home what did I do for you to hate- WHAT THE HELL?!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?! Oh also hi Jiminie, Yoongi finally decided to stop ignoring you? Wow your hair is cool you look like a proper smurf now, anyways why do you hate me? I just came home? I know how to cook?" By the time Seokjin was finished with his rant in the middle of taking his coat and shoes off, NamMin couple had tears streaming down their faces from laughter.

"Are you high? Are doctors allowed to get high on medical equipment?" Yoongi said as he gave the eldest a look of utter confusion.

"I'm on a sugar rush, I ate so much candy I'm actually super nauseous right now" Seokjin sat next to Yoongi and pulled lightly on his hair.

"I like it"

"See? I told you it's good" Jimin smiled cockily as he leaned on the couch, peering at Yoongi from above.

"Shut up"

Namjoon glanced at the sight in front of him. Yoongi having a small relaxed smile on his lips, Seokjin tugging at the rapper's hair every so often and Jimin seemingly studying his ' work ' ( and by work, he means Yoongi's new hair color ). The atmosphere was nice, and calm.

Namjoon wouldn't have it any other way.

  
****************************

  
After much convincing ( not really ) Jimin agreed to stay over for dinner and a movie, so the four boys sat around the table eating Chinese takeout.

"How was work today hyung?" Namjoon asked the eldest who was busy stuffing his face like a chipmunk, making Jimin giggle.

"Good" He said through a full mouth ( everyone was laughing at this point ).

"Namjoon hyung it should be, how was work today honey?" Jimin smirked while Yoongi snored unattractively.

"Oh right, how was work today honey?"

"It was good sweetie, can you shut up now so I can eat?" The three remaining laughed yet again while Seokjin stuffed his face with more food.

It was a nice atmosphere and for the first time in really long, Yoongi felt a real smile tug on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than all my other chapters which makes me sad :(. But I hope you liked it everyone <3 love yourself


	27. Is it hope, is it despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok knew. He knew that not every sad beginning has a happy ending. And he knew. He knew that he won't have his happily ever after.
> 
> Why?
> 
> Because Hoseok was neither a princess, or a prince. Hoseok's life wasn't a movie. Hoseok wasn't waiting for a Prince Charming or to be a Prince Charming. No hero was going to save the day, and no musketeer was going to come riding on his white horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of exams so I'm sorry for I don't upload on time :(. High school is abusing me and I-

 

It was starting to become unbearable. This loneliness Hoseok's been feeling. It wasn't fading no matter what he did, no matter who he was with. It wouldn't fade. Just lingered there in the air, suffocating Hoseok until he couldn't breathe anymore.

 

He was just so _so_ alone. Always alone.

 

Life was becoming a chore with each passing day, the desire to be alive thinning more and more. Well, it was always like this, but he thought he was getting better..he really did.

 

Was he just lying to himself? Trying to force himself to think he was happy? Because he was a fu**ing idiot to think he could fool himself.

 

All of the words he thought about, trying to encourage himself to live on, to be happy, to smile. Weren't they all fake?

 

Hoseok couldn't tell anymore, what was real and what was not.

 

Is he going to keep living like this? Always having a burden that couldn't be removed no matter how much he laughed?

 

_Why was he alive at this point?_

 

Ending it all would be so much easier.

 

_The easy way out._

 

He was alone. Hoseok was alone and no cliché  
-You're never alone - shit is he going to believe.

 

He hated his existence, he wanted to disappear. Whether it be hell or heaven he was sent to, he just didn't care anymore. Couldn't find the energy to care.

 

Hell wouldn't be worse than what he's living now anyways.

 

There was no saving Jung Hoseok.

 

And Jung Hoseok did not want to be saved.

 

Laying in his bed aimlessly staring at the ceiling did little to soothe his aching heart. His mind raced with all kinds of thoughts -ones he hated so much- and more often than not he's felt tears wet his cheeks. 

 

He was tired. _So tired._

 

Tired of living. Tired of breathing. Tired of crying. Tired of _trying_.

 

His friends, or what they called themselves weren't with him now. Weren't experiencing what he was going through all _alone_. He wanted to reach out for help, he wanted to so badly, but he couldn't help feeling like he'd burden them. He didn't want to be more of a burden than he already was.

 

And.

 

And losing one of his best friends ( fu**, his only best friend ) fu**ed him up.

 

He misses Yoongi so much.

 

He couldn't replace him with anyone, and trust me he tried. He tried. He _tried_.

 

With Yoongi, he knew he could just flat out tell him everything. Everything that was on his fu**ed up messy mind. Yes back when they were living together, back when they were _good_ , he couldn't say anything, but that was only because the boy had his own shit to deal with.

 

However, just having that thought and feeling that he could tell Yoongi anything calmed down Hoseok.

 

Now? Now when he lost that feeling, that thought. He didn't know what to do anymore. He was just so lost and so broken. His mind was filled with static that wouldn't stop whatever he did.

 

He just wanted the static to quite down so he could be okay. He wanted his mind to shut up, for his heart to stop beating so fu**ing fast. To not feel so fu**ing bad everyday. To be able to breathe without feeling the need to scream his heart out.

 

He wanted the tears to stop, the hurt and the headaches. The pain and the numbness.

 

He just..didn't want to feel so _tired_.

 

Hoseok knew. He knew that not every sad beginning has a happy ending. And he knew. He _knew_ that he won't have his happily ever after.

 

Why?

 

Because Hoseok was neither a princess, or a prince. Hoseok's life wasn't a movie. Hoseok wasn't waiting for a Prince Charming or to be a Prince Charming. No hero was going to save the day, and no musketeer was going to come riding on his white horse.

 

And Hoseok sure as hell wouldn't be those things to someone.

 

He couldn't save himself, let alone another person.

 

He didn't know when exactly it started, but if he were to name a close time period, it would probably be in fifth grade.

 

That was when his insecurities began to surface.

 

Small things like; your feet are too big for a fifth grader, your ears are too pointy, they look  
awkward on your head, your friends don't like you, you're not fun to play with.

 

He could still look at himself in the mirror.

 

Then.

 

As he got older, it got worse...so much worse. His mind fed him darker thoughts, that he oh so happily consumed.

 

_You're too fat._

_Your nose is fu**ed up._

_You have an ugly smile._

_Your eyes are too small._

_Your body isn't perfect._

_Your laugh is too loud._

_Your voice annoys people._

_You are hated._

_Nobody cares._

_You should just kill yourself, it'll be better that way._

_Even if you were gone, nobody would care. They'd cry for a few days sure, but they'll get over it. You were never important to begin with. You have siblings that'll replace you easily._

_You're not good enough. You'll never be._

 

That was when he couldn't stand his own reflection. When he preferred to have all the lights off in his room, downing any painkiller that would help him sleep.

 

Each day he'd hope it was his last. Each second, he would hope its his last. Each meal, drink, smile, laugh, _breath_.

 

He wanted to end it all in summer vacation, made his decision as his parents fought for what felt like the millionth time.

 

(Un)Fortunately, as he made his way to his room to down all of the bottles of painkillers he has on his desk, his mother called him over. Told him to choose who he wanted to live with.

 

Hoseok answered neither.

 

That was how he found himself in Seoul, studying in med school in a rundown dorm with the shittiest  roommate the world could throw at him.

 

But he made it. He didn't know how, but he did.

 

On the way, he hated himself more and more.

 

Those days where he didn't have anything to busy himself with, those were the days that messed him up the most. Where he thought about everything. Those times made him wish there was a button that would make him stop thinking.

 

_Everything's the same thing, with a different name. It's life again._

 

Life's too much for Hoseok. Life was beating him down and he didn't have the strength to fight back.

 

_Life's handing you lemons?, make lemonade then._

 

Hoseok wanted to know who was the idiot that thought of that, because life wasn't handing Hoseok lemons. No.

 

It was handing him bleach, ropes and pills. Almost teasing him, trying him.

 

And one of these days, he's going to give up and not give a fu** about the consequences.

 

If God was forgiving like they said, he would forgive him.

 

 

 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this! And thanks for all the kudos and comments, it gives me strength <3 I love you all


	28. We may be covered in scars, but we can smile if we're together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm so sorry hyung" Yoongi cut the short space between them, hugging the dancer with all his might.
> 
>  
> 
> "I-i'm the one who's supposed t-to be sorry" Hoseok tried desperately not to cry, he really did.
> 
>  
> 
> However, having Yoongi forgive him- having his best friend back made the tears flow like a river.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to this adorable person who gives me strength <3  
> ( strong power thank you ) 
> 
> for: chimchim 
> 
> Thank you for your kind words and really making me enjoy updating! You're the sweetest <3.

"Say..how do we make Hoseok and Yoongi talk again?" Seokjin asked as he stared blankly ahead. Currently Namjoon and him were in the kitchen snacking on some weird flavored chips they found in the pantry ( apparently Jin bought it and forgot about it ). Yoongi was as usual in his room with his  
-new- headphones on, working on some track.

 

Namjoon hummed in deep thought, coming up with an idea that would probably get him killed by the two older boys.

 

Namjoon couldn't think of a better way to go.

 

"Hyung...how about we lock them in a room and force them to talk?" A beat of silence passed before Seokjin raised his hand for a high five.

 

"You're a fu- flipping genius Joonie!" And that was how they found themselves hunched over papers like middle schoolers, drawing ( or their pathetic excuse of drawing really )  a plan to get both boys in the same room without them suspecting anything.

 

It was a mess in Seokjin's room. Papers thrown around everywhere and different colored pens surrounding them.

 

The elder doesn't mind, it's all in the sake of bringing two of his friends back together.

 

"So the plan is-" A knock sounded on the door making Namjoon and Seokjin share a look.

 

They frantically started collecting all the papers and trying to shove them under Seokjin's bed, but due to Namjoon's incredible clumsiness, the rapper tripped on an invisible wire and fell face first on the carpet ( in his defense, the floor wanted to high five him ). Seokjin just ignored him and continued on trying to hide the evidence.

 

"Hyung? You in there?" Oh boy it was Yoongi. He'll probably walk inside and figure everything out! Damn you Namjoon and your stupid ideas!

 

"Y-yeah come in" The door opened and it seemed that time stood still for the two plan makers.

 

"I just- um...why's Namjoon on the floor?" Seokjin glanced at the boy in question before kicking his ass. Literally.

 

"Get up idiot"

 

"Seriously why are you panting? Did I come at the wrong time? I can just lea-"

 

"NO YOU PERVERT WHAT THE FU- frick?!" Yes even in embarrassing moments like these, Seokjin had to keep his calm. Seemingly realizing what Yoongi meant, Namjoon burst out in laughter, slamming the floor repeatedly until he clutched his hand in pain.

 

"You know what? Get out, both of you!" Seokjin silently fuming, kicked Namjoon's ass once again as he shooed them out of his room.

 

"But I-"

 

"I don't care Min Yoongi. Out, now"

 

"I just wanted a hoodie..." Yoongi unconsciously pouted, making Namjoon coo at his cuteness. "What a cutie" The younger voiced his thoughts, only for the cute pout to be turned to an aggressive glare. Yoongi kept that glare until Namjoon was out of his sight.

 

The DJ smiled at the floor.

 

_Yoongi was getting better._

****************

"Hoseokie will you come over today? The kids are coming and we'll watch a movie and have snac-" The dancer interrupted Seokjin's rant with a small "um.."

 

"What? Come on Hoseok! I haven't seen you in forever! Our shifts aren't coordinated and now I never see you anymore" Jin hopes and prays to God that the younger will agree, 'cause if he didn't, what's the point of the stupid plan him and the so called genius made?

 

"I don't know hyung...I mean Yoongi is there and as you know we're not exactly tight..." Well...he's got a point, but Seokjin and Namjoon were ready for this.

 

"Don't worry about it, he went back to Daegu, wanted to see his family or something" _please be fooled, please be fooled, please be fooled, please be-_

 

"WHAT?! What the hell Seokjin?!  Why didn't anybody tell me?!" Seokjin smirked and did a little victory dance before stilling as Namjoon gave him a weird look.

 

"First of all you little piece of sh- poop, it's hyung. Second of all, you just said yourself and I quote, you weren't exactly tight" Seokjin is determined to keep his decency and he _will_ keep it.

 

"Whatever...fine I guess, I'll come"

 

"Great!! See ya! Don't be late" Hoseok could practically hear Seokjin's smile and he wondered.

 

What the fu** was he getting himself into?

 

***********************

Taehyung and Jungkook were sitting on the floor with a blanekt thrown over them. Different kinds of snacks laid in front of the boys as they talked quietly.

 

Jimin was on the couch next to Yoongi, cuddling into the older's side and happily chewing on some candy Seokjin gave him. ( kinda like a baby right? 

 

Only Hoseok wasn't here and Yoongi wonders why.

 

It's like, he's half expecting the older to come over, but part of him doesn't want to face him. It's like he never wants to see him again, yet he hopes to.

 

Yoongi forgave him a long time ago, after he realized the dancer didn't do anything. Yes he was upset for the way Hoseok talked to him, However he realized Hoseok was also going through sh!t at the time. He was blaming himself for what happened to Yoongi and having said boy treat him so badly made him snap.

 

Yoongi gets it.

 

He's just embarrassed to talk to Hoseok.

 

He's just embarrassed to live really.

 

The dorbell rang for the last time this night and Yoongi could feel his heart race. "Namjoon? Who's that?" The older asked.

 

"It's probably the pizza delivery guy" Namjoon answered nonchalantly.

 

"YoonYoon, there's a bean bag in my room can you bring it?" Seokjin asked as he made his way to the front door.

 

"Yeah okay" Yoongi saved his grumbling  ( Seokjin has been helping him a lot, it's the least he can do ) and went to Seokjin's room.

 

"I'll help, it's a bit heavy" Namjoon mumbled.

 

Back in the living room, Seokjin finally opened the door to be greeted by their resident sunshine. The boy he missed so much.

 

"Hoseokie! Hi!" Hoseok got pulled into a hug, making him smile.

 

"Hey hyung!" Seokjin returned his smile before he started dragging him past the living room.

 

"Uh what are you doing?"

 

"I have something for you, I wanted to give it to you for a week now, but our schedules are sh- manure so I couldn't" Hoseok rolled his eyes with a smile. 

 

"Really Hyung? You know you can just say sh-"

 

"No no no, I will stay pure unlike all you sinners"

 

Just as they reached Seokjin's room, Namjoon appeared in front of them. The two shared a mischievous look before locking their gaze as if trying to communicate through eyes only.

 

_Is Yoongi in there?_

 

_Yes, I'm hungry  
_

 

_How is he still there?_

 

_Pizza's good_

 

_nice._

 

 

"Why are you two having a staring match?" Hoseok asked and Seokjin snored.

 

"It's called having a conversation without words. You won't get to our level. Anyways go on in!" The dancer suspiciously stared at the two idiots standing before opening the slightly ajar door.

 

"What should I- oh fu**" Just as he was about to turn away and run like the coward he was, the door slammed shut and was locked.

 

So he was trapped inside of Seokjin's room with Yoongi.

 

See, Hoseok was planning to dodge his problem with Yoongi until...he dies? But now his plan is failing and there was little Hoseok's running around in his brain sounding alarms. Sh- manure! What does he do? And why is Yoongi staring at him so blankly? And why is Hoseok even alive right now?

 

AND WASNT YOONGI IN DAEGU?!!!!!!

 

"Guys this isn't fu**ing funny, open the door" Hoseok -as much as he hated it- turned around and slammed on the door.

 

"You think we're trying to be funny? Once you two get your heads out of your..bottoms and make up, we'll let you out" Seokjin's angry ( wtf? He was just smiling? Talk about zero to one hundred real quick ) voice yelled from outside the room making Hoseok jump slightly.

 

The dancer sighed and turned back around, seeing Yoongi staring at the ground with a kind of shy expression.

 

There was uncomfortable silence- very uncomfortable silence. Something Hoseok couldn't have ever imagined being in with Yoongi.

 

They were awkward. Another thing Hoseok couldn't have imagined having with Yoongi.

 

Well, he might as well get it over with.

 

"Listen Yoongi.....I'm really sorry for what I said and how I treated you...you- I was just really scared that anything would happen to you again. I was mad at myself and...I thought if you came here then you wouldn't get hurt anymore. Just remembering how you looked in the hospital scared me sh!tless. I couldn't trust myself to keep you safe anymore and no I don't mean that you're a kid that needs babysitting" Yoongi cringed at that. "I just care about you so much okay? I really want you safe. I'm sorry for not asking you what you wanted and I'm sorry for not giving you time. You needed me and I just..pushed you away. Made you go to Seokjin when I could've helped. I'm sorry for that Yoongi. I really am" Hoseok had tears blurring his vision by the time he was done. It was almost like he could _feel_ his heart hurting. Somehow saying those words out loud made it seem more real. The reality dawning on Hoseok, how badly he treated Yoongi. How shi- _manure_ of a friend he was.

 

"I'm...I'm sorry too Hoseok, for being a d!ck to you" They stood quietly until Yoongi had the courage to lift his head up and stare at the older. He noticed how tired Hoseok looked, how he had dark bags underneath his eyes. How much skinner he got and how pale he was.

 

God, he looked horrible.

 

"I'm so sorry hyung" Yoongi cut the short space between them, hugging the dancer with all his might.

 

"I-i'm the one who's supposed t-to be sorry" Hoseok tried desperately not to cry, he really did.

 

However, having Yoongi forgive him- having his best friend back made the tears flow like a river.

 

"Please...don't cry" Yoongi whispered as he wiped away Hoseok's tears. The nurse closed his eyes tightly, trying not to cry anymore.

 

This felt more...intimate than what friends should share, especially two guys. But if it was Yoongi then, it's fine by Hoseok. Everything is fine with Yoongi.

 

More than fine actually. 

 

He took a deep breath before opening his eyes once again.

 

"You..you dyed your hair?" Hoseok asked, staring at the soft baby blue hair that rested on top of Yoongi's head.

 

"Yeah...Jiminie did it for me. Do you like it?" They were both speaking so quietly, as if raising their voices would break the moment.

 

"Yeah..I do"

 

"Are you two in love now? Did you get married or something?" Namjoon asked from outside the door and a familiar window shield wiper laugh was heard. Hoseok and Yoongi found themselves smiling.

 

"Just open the door you a**hole" Just as it did, Yoongi pushed past Hoseok and kicked Namjoon in the balls.

 

"OH FU** OH MY GOD" The younger clutched his private parts in pain, tears threatening to escape his eyes. The Maknae line gathered where everyone was upon hearing Namjoon's scream.

 

Yoongi turned to Seokjin with a murdering look in his eyes.

 

"Listen, it was Namjoon's idea! I have no hand in this!" Seokjin raised his hand in surrender backing away slightly.

 

"Oh I'm not gonna have any kids, I think I'm dying. Sh!t I can see the light" Jungkook was the first one to laugh, slowly everyone followed suit.

 

"Yeah laugh at my misery, oh my God Yoongi what are your legs made of? Metal?" Seokjin's laugh along with Jungkook's just made everyone laugh harder.

 

"Serves you right" Yoongi said with a smirk on his face.

 

"I hate you so much. Jungkookie go search in my room you'll find my will, just scratch out Yoongi's name" The Maknae crouched next to the DJ with tears streaming down his face from laughing too much.

 

"Rest in piece hyung" The Maknae closed Namjoon's eyes like they did in Assassins Creed and made a show of sniffling. Namjoon just poked his tongue out and pretended to be dead. Laughter broke out yet again and Namjoon finally decided to get up.

 

"Just let me get an ice pack and then we can watch the movie"

 

************************

 

All the boys were engrossed in the movie playing on the screen. 

  
Yoongi was curled against Hoseok, his head on the older's shoulder. Namjoon and Jimin were clutching each other's hands as they were anticipating the next jumpscare. Seokjin was on the floor in the middle of Taehyung and Jungkook ( he thought if he sat between the two bravest they'll rub off on him and he won't be such a scaredy cat ) his eyes glued to the TV.

 

Yoongi felt safe with Hoseok's arms around him and for the first time in forever, he thought that everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh btw this fic is probably going to go on for a very long time...like REALLY long time. I just have so many plots and ideas and I'm not even half way through it. Thank you all of reading and for your support;3 it makes me so happy and gives me strength to keep writing! I love you all so much.
> 
> ( plus,I'm addicted to champions, our leader is so amazing ) 
> 
> ( Also, crystal snow~ I'm crying )
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: 
> 
> Today we lost a beautiful soul. Kim Jonghyun. Rest In piece our angel. 
> 
> SHINee was one of the first groups I ever loved, losing Jonghyun breaks my heart and I can't even begin to imagine what his family, friends and members feel. He always made me smile so much that I thought I would never frown again, he always made me laugh so hard, my stomach would hurt. He gave me strength to keep going. 
> 
> He was and still is, our light and our world. I hope you're happy up there Jonghyun, you can smile now. 
> 
> I'm sorry this world didn't feel like your home anymore, I'm sorry you thought that this was the only way out. 
> 
> I love you. We love you. 
> 
> Please, for anyone who's going through struggles, please seek help. Don't feel like you're weak, because you're not. Getting help means you're so brave, that you're ready to face your demons and you're ready to fight. You're strong. You're amazing, and I love you. Whenever you feel like breaking, I'm here for you, no matter what, day or night. I'm here. My twitter is the same username on here, just send me a message and I'm ready to listen. I love you all and I really, truly care about you. You're important and your life is worth living. Hold on darlings, pain ends.


	29. erase all sad memories, smile holding onto each other's hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "J-Jiminie he- oh my god, he-he fell down from the couch right on top of Jungkook" By the time Yoongi was finished explaining everyone was laughing. Not because of the situation, but because of Yoongi's laughter. Just seeing the rapper happy made everyone smile.
> 
>  
> 
> "Looks like Joonie isn't the only clumsy idiot here" Seokjin mumbled sleepily with a smile.
> 
>  
> 
> "Hey!! Namjoon hyung probably pushed me off" The room got quite all of a sudden. Everyone looking at each other. 
> 
>  
> 
> Well....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so gay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) also a lot of JinKook happens, and side Taekook because Taekook is always there. 
> 
> Oh and in case nobody told you today; 
> 
> You're amazing, you're beautiful and your life is worth living. I love you.

They ended up falling asleep before the movie ended.

 

Well, all except for Yoongi. He could never fall asleep during a movie, he'll keep wondering what's going to happen and who's going to die and why the plot is like that.

 

Just too many questions for the boy to fall asleep.

 

He carefully detached himself from Hoseok and observed the sleeping figures in the room.

 

Namjoon and Jimin were basically stitched close together, same thing with Seokjin, Taehyung and Jungkook.

It was cute.

 

Yoongi went to the laundry room and grabbed two blankets, before heading back to the living room. He resisted the urge to laugh once he saw Namjoon holding an ice pack over his lap, grabbing it slowly out of his hand and covering both him and Jimin with one of the blankets.

 

The trio on the floor already had one, so he stood in front of Hoseok

 

Should he go to sleep in his much more comfortable bed, or wake up sour but warm?

 

Hmmmmmm...

 

 

 

  
Making his decision,  Yoongi slowly curled up against Hoseok and covered them with the other blanket.

 

"Mm...where am I?" Hoseok's voice thick with sleep made Yoongi laugh quietly

 

"Go back to sleep"

 

"Oh..okay" Yoongi smiled and buried his face in the older's neck.

 

Yeah, this was way more comfortable than any bed.

 

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

 

A thud woke Yoongi from his deep slumber. The room was cast over by sunlight that gave it a warm glow. Yoongi raised his head to see a small lump that belonged to one Park Jimin laying on the floor.

 

Right on top of Jungkook.

 

Yoongi could feel a laugh start to bubble in his chest, "Wh...what the fu**" Jungkook opened his eyes sleepily with furrowed eyebrows.

 

"What happened? Who's there?" Jimin drowsily looked around blinking a few times.

 

Yoongi just couldn't help bursting out in laughter.

 

"Do you mind?" Jimin wasn't heavy, not at all. Jungkook just didn't, you know....like being sat on.

 

"Oh do you mind?" Jimin covered his nose making Yoongi laugh even harder.

 

"I'm sorry, I forgot my breath needed to smell minty fresh when I was just forced to wake up!" Jungkook fired back and finally the commotion was enough to wake the rest of the sleeping boys.

 

"What's going- why is Jimin on top of Jungkook?" Namjoon asked. He remembers the small boy was next to him? What happened?

 

"J-Jiminie he- oh my god, he-he fell down from the couch right on top of Jungkook" By the time Yoongi was finished explaining everyone was laughing. Not because of the situation, but because of Yoongi's laughter. Just seeing the rapper happy made everyone smile.

 

"Looks like Joonie isn't the only clumsy idiot here" Seokjin mumbled sleepily with a smile.

 

"Hey!! Namjoon hyung probably pushed me off" The room got quite all of a sudden. Everyone looking at each other. 

 

Well....

 

"Oh you've got to be kidding me" Laughter broke out again, but Namjoon had a scowl on his face.

 

No. He wasn't entertained.

 

"Don't blame me for your clumsiness"

 

"Okay but seriously get off" Jungkook said and Jimin smirked.

 

"I don't know I'm really comfortable"

 

"Aish annoying" Jungkook rolled on his side so that Jimin fell on Seokjin, the eldest who was trying to fall back asleep.

 

"YOU BRATS IM TRYING TO SLEEP CAN YOU SHUT THE F......please quite down"

 

Their morning was lively, after trying to get back asleep ( no one questioned why they were at Seokjin's and why they were still there ) someone would giggle or laugh and then others would laugh and well, that combination couldn't make a good bed time routine. So now, Seokjin and Hoseok were in the kitchen, making breakfast while Namjoon sat - and only sat - watching them.

 

"Hyung....let me help" Namjoon pouted and Seokjin raised an eyebrow.

 

"Joon, for the sake of world peace, just sit there like a good boy" Hoseok said and Seokjin laughed.

 

"Ugh fine, can I at least turn on some music?" The DJ didn't even wait for an answer as he went to grab his wireless speakers.

 

Yoongi after showering and brushing his teeth, stalked to the kitchen to make himself his daily dosage of coffee. Life was good. Life was really good. Almost unbelievably good. So Yoongi hopes that God isn't fu**ing with him and he'll let it stay that way.

 

"Anyone wants coffee?" He asked.

 

"Me!" Taehyung finally joined them and sat on the table, only to slam his head on top of it with a groan.

 

"It's Sunday, who's idea was to wake up at this ungodly hour?" The artist grumbled.

 

"Sorry taetae, Namjoon hyung pushed me so I woke you guys up" Jimin jumped on the counter with his angelic smile on display.

 

"YOU'RE STILL BLAMING ME?" Namjoon yelled as he entered the kitchen. Handing the speakers to Taehyung and walking over to Jimin, cracking his knuckles in the process.

 

"Hoseok hyung save me!"

 

"Hyung do you have aspirin? Or any pain killer? Or another ice pack that isn't melted?" Jungkook tugged on Seokjin's shirt with a miserable frown on his face. The eldest almost wanted to pepper his face with kisses. Almost.

 

"Why bunny?" And Jungkook found himself blushing at the nickname.

 

"A certain someone bumped my head when their elephant self fell on me" Jungkook grumbled as he stared at the floor in shyness. How he was rude and cute at the same time, Seokjin didn't know.

 

"Hey!! Don't be mean" Taehyung scolded and Jungkook only flipped him off.

 

"Oh you brat I'll whoop your ass just come here"

 

"OH MY GOD SEOKJIN HYUNG SAVE ME IM BEING MOLESTED"

 

"Molested? Don't you mean abused?"

 

"Come and get me"

 

"You're grabbing my small Jimin it's called molesting"

 

"Coffee is ready"

 

Seokjin just sighed as he felt a headache growing.

 

This was the worst idea ever.

 

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

 

"Oi brat stop kicking me" Jimin glared and Jungkook stared innocently at him.

( he's not innocent at all by the way )

 

"What?" Jungkook glanced at Tae and saw that they had his attention.

 

"Hyung..I didn't do anything" Jungkook pouted at Tae ( who literally almost melted, God Jungkook was too cute ).

 

"Oh my God. Are you all sure his name's Jeon Jungkook and not Satan Jungkook?" Jimin said making Namjoon snore.

 

"Jiminie, be nice" To be honest Seokjin thinks Jimin and Jungkook are siblings and Taehyung is their father. Breaking the two apart every two seconds.

 

All the while, Hoseok was chewing quietly on his food, feeling content for the first time in a while.

 

"You-"

 

"Can you all shut up please?" Seokjin gave the Maknae line his famous mom glare, successfully shutting them up.

 

"Gee, sorry mom" Jungkook replied sarcastically. As if he was testing Seokjin.

 

"Yeah, sorry mother" Jimin also joined in, making the eldest roll his eyes in response.

 

"We won't fight anymore mommy"

 

"Promise we won't mommy, don't be mad at us" Seokjin was contemplating kicking Jungkook and Jimin out. Or kicking their as- butts with a spatula. You know, whatever works.

 

"Since when did you two get along anyways?" Seokjin asked and Taehyung choked on the heaven called pancakes. If he was to die? He'd die a happy man.

 

Seokjin was the God of food -or pancakes since he didn't taste anything else the older cooked- but hey this isn't the important subject! The important subject is, why the hell is Seokjin bringing up Jimin and Jungkook's relationship? Taehyung was just gonna let them realize they love each other. It was a solid plan.

 

Really, if the two made the effort to get to know each other, Tae was sure that they'll get along.

 

Also, Jimin would probably ( surely ) fall in love with Jungkook. The cute bunny maknae just managed to make everybody fall for him.

 

Seriously, Taehyung woke up Jungkook that one time because his alarm didn't work and well...his heart almost bursted. He woke up so confused and looking around like he didn't realize where he was.

 

Moral of story? Jungkook is the cutest when he's sleepy.

 

 

 

 

Correction, Jungkook is the cutest. Period.

 

"What? We don't get along! I hate him" Jungkook glared at Jimin who returned his glare tenfold.

 

"Feeling's mutual brat"

 

"Wow you guys have so much in common" Namjoon piped up from his seat on the end of the table and grinned smugly.

 

"No we don't!" The two yelled together making everyone in the room raise their eyebrows.

 

"Whatever" Jungkook mumbled and stabbed his fluffy pancakes in a pissed off manner.

 

"Chill Kook, the pancakes did nothing wrong to you" The Maknae sighed in irritation, and gave a  
' help me ' look towards Taehyung.

 

"Guys stop pissing off my baby" Taehyung threw an arm around Jungkook who smiled and leaned into him ( yes maybe he was trying to make Jimin jealous, but shh nobody knows that ).

 

"Ew" Was Yoongi's only response.

 

"Hey boys, why don't eggs tell each other jokes?" A series of groans left all of them ( except for Jungkook who secretly loves dad jokes ). Seokjin started laughing before he even told the joke, slamming his hand on the table.

 

"Why hyung?" Jungkook asked, with a grin already on his face.

 

"They'd c-crack each other up" The two boys locked eyes before they bursted out in laughter.

 

Jimin stared at Jungkook as his cute kinda witch like laugh exploded around the room, his face buried in Taehyung's neck, body shaking with laughter, and he couldn't help the smile that tugged on his lips as he watched the Maknae.

 

Okay...maybe Jungkook was cute. Just a teeny tiny bit. A fraction.

 

"Ah man that's why I love you Kookie" Seokjin shot a flying kiss towards said boy, who pretended to grab it and put it on top of his heart.

 

Seokjin glanced around the table with what Jimin swore was heart shaped eyes. "I....I think I'm in love?" Jungkook giggled and got up from Taehyung's hold, heading instead for the eldest and hugging him tightly.

 

"I wanna marry you hyung"

Taehyung pouted and crossed his arms, "What about me?" His comment went ignored by Jungkook who made himself comfortable in Seokjin's lap.

 

"Namjoonie will you be our priest?" The boys laughed, and Namjoon cleared his throat, saying in his best Priest voice ( is there even such a thing? ),

 

"Do you, Kim Seokjin take, Jeon Jungkook to be your lawfully wedded husband? to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for brattiness, for sassiness, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" Jimin laughed and mumbled an ' I agree '

 

"I do" Seokjin sniffled and hugged Jungkook closer.

 

"And do you, Jeon Jungkook take, Kim Seokjin to be your lawfully wedded husband? to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for terrible dad jokes-"

 

"HEY!"

 

"For scolding like a mom, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

 

"I do" Jungkook smiled his bunny smile and rested his head on Seokjin's shoulder.

 

The priest, aka Namjoon then said, "You have declared your consent before the....um dining table. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide cough Taehyung cough. Amen." The room erupted in claps and cheers ( and a few laughs and yelps as Taehyung attempted to kick Namjoon underneath the table, but judging from Jimin's face, he failed ).

 

"You have to kiss now" Hoseok spoke for the second time today making Yoongi snore unattractively.

 

Seokjin immediately puckered his lips and made kissy faces towards the scarred poor boy sitting in his lap.

 

"And that's where I take my leave" Jungkook struggled to get out of Seokjin's hold who was getting terrifyingly closer each second. ( Jungkook is so done at this point ).

 

"Why doesn't my little hubby want to kiss me?"

 

"Hyung oh my God let me go~"

 

"Shouldn't play a game you don't have the balls to play" Taehyung smirked at Jungkook who raised an eyebrow.

 

Suddenly, Jungkook turned his face towards Seokjin and pressed a firm kiss on the older's lips.

 

Silence.

 

Three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

"OH MY GOD"

 

"AHHHHHHHH"

 

"OH MAN HOLY SH!T"

 

"MY EYES"

 

"GET SOME JUNGKOOKIE"

 

"I'm too old for this manure" Seokjin pushed Jungkook off of him and stood up.

 

"Please get out of my house I've had enough human interaction for a year, y'all wild" Jungkook only had a cocky grin on his face as he locked eyes with Taehyung.

 

"I've...I'm so betrayed Jeon Jungkook. I thought for sure I would be your first male kiss.."

 

"Ew why would it be you?" They all started laughing yet again, Jimin patting Taehyung's shoulder sympathetically.

 

"Seokjin hyung is like that really old auntie that insists on kissing you on the lips so it doesn't make a difference"

 

"YOU BRAT"

 

Yoongi had tears streaming down his face from how much he was laughing, really everyone was in the same state as him. Smiling without a care..

 

Seokjin didn't feel so lonely anymore.

 

Hoseok forgot about his dark thoughts, being able to let go for a while.

 

Yoongi's head wasn't overwhelmed by all those memories, his mind was blank. Just enjoying the company of those who he considered close to his heart.

 

Namjoon didn't think about how much of a failure he was, didn't think about how much he hated himself.

 

Jimin wasn't stressed about his dance studio, nor was he thinking about how much he missed his family.

 

Taehyung wasn't angry ( a blissful change for the boy ), wasn't getting into fights. He was happy, smiling, calm.

 

And Jungkook? Well....he may be not reliving his teenage years, but this? This was better than everything he could've asked for. No this was everything Jungkook could've asked for and more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't made things clear have I? This story seems more Yoongi centric right? lol well what I'm going for is each story of two boys. Like right now it's Yoongi and Hoseok. Next set is probably Taehyung and Jungkook. That's why I'm telling you it's going to be really long. I hope you all enjoy this ^-^. Btw for Exo-L's....your boys are going to join in the plot verrryyyy soon ;3. I love you all, stay strong <3.


	30. Again I’m enduring the dark and sleepless nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're sending you to your uncle Taehyung. Lord knows we don't have patience for you" The boy only rolled his eyes and scoffed.
> 
>  
> 
> "If you don't have patience then why did you fu**? Could've worn a condom appa"
> 
>  
> 
> That was the first time Taehyung's father hit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH LOOK AT THIS IM NOT DEAD!!!!

Taehyung knocked back another glass, the world swaying as he signaled for the bartender to bring him his...well he doesn't really know how many shots he had, but what difference does one more make?

 

Well, that's how the rest of the night went. Taehyung promising himself _one more_ , until he couldn't form coherent sentences or even _think_ of making them.

 

It was stupid and irresponsible, but that's Taehyung for you.

 

He finally decided that enough was enough after his fifteenth shot ( probably ) and attempted to get up from his seat. Key word being attempted. His legs felt like jelly and his head was already starting to hurt. All the loud music and sweaty bodies did little to soothe his mind.

 

Okay he was kinda, maybe, possibly freaking out. Let's ignore that for now.

 

As he tried to figure out how to use his legs, someone slammed into him, knocking the air out of his lungs, and knocking _him_ off balance.

 

"Yo...wha the fu**?" Taehyung slurred and blinked rapidly, glancing at the swarm of people to locate who wanted their jaw broken. ( or hand his ass to him since he was so drunk ).

 

"What? You talking to me?"

 

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

 

Another punch landed on his face, his arms being held back by three guys so he couldn't defend himself.

 

Everything hurt so bad. Taehyung wanted it to stop. His head hurt, his body hurt, his everything hurt so bad. So many thoughts, he wanted it to stop. Stop, stop stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop.   
Why won’t it stop?

 

Why is he hitting Taehyung? What did he do? Why was he here again? Why does it happen so much? Is that why his parents are so ashamed of him? Is that why they hate him?

 

He could hear laughter, but it seemed so distant. So far away. Someone was saying something along the lines of ' fag, weak '

 

Or was that Taehyung's own mind screaming at him?

 

He was mad. So mad.

 

Why is he being humiliated like this? Why is he faced with cowards every day?

 

Why does he feel so angry all the time?

 

Taehyung snapped out of his thoughts once he was dropped on the concrete, making pain shoot throughout his entire body. He felt a groan escape his throat as he curled against himself in pain.

 

Everything hurt.

 

Black dots blurred his vision and he didn't know what to focus on. The pain, or the dots, or breathing.......And why were the dots growing bigger by the second? It's weird. Taehyung has always had good eyesight, but suddenly he couldn't see.

 

Suddenly he wasn't awake.

 

☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎☁︎

 

"How many times am I going to pick him up from some club or fu**ing police station?! I've had it with that kid Yoona! He keeps getting into fights that he damn well can't win and I keep bringing his beat up ass home. One day he's going to fu**ing die-"

 

"Don't say that!"

 

Taehyung awoke to voices yelling and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who they were. You'd think after witnessing so many fights of his parent's he'd be numb to it, but no.

 

Each fight fu**ed Taehyung up more. He was the reason they were fighting everyday. He was the reason they were unhappy. His dad probably wished that he pulled out 17 years ago.

 

He sat up drowsily, feeling a bile make its way up his throat, so he hurriedly grabbed the waste bin next to his bed ( his mom knows him too well ) and threw up everything that he ingested last night. He tried to ignore the pain throughout his entire body and just focused on stopping his stomach's content from spilling out.

 

_Ugh, Taehyung is never drinking again. Ever._

 

Well that's what he told himself two days ago.

 

His bedroom door opened and in walked his mother, Yoona. "Aigoo baby" If someone loved him in this world, it would be his mom. She was always so gentle with him, taking care of him whenever he was sick. Just being...a parent.

 

"E-eomma" Taehyung croaked out miserably as she rubbed his back with a sad smile on her face.

 

"Taehyungie...baby you need to stop this. It isn't good for you.." He groaned and buried his face in his pillow.

 

"Whatever...can I stay alone for a bit?" He asked and his mom only sighed. She was concerned for her only boy, she fears that one day...like her husband says, he won't be back. He won't wake up.

 

"Sure honey...just call if you need anything okay? You have some aspirin on your bedside table and some pain killers. Do your wounds hurt? I dressed it yest-"

 

"Eomma...you're ranting" He said without looking at his mother, only heard her laugh and get up, closing his door softly with a click.

 

He didn't see the tears in her eyes. The pain.

 

—————————

 

Taehyung didn't stop. Couldn't stop.

He was getting into fights almost everyday. With each word his father says to him, with each conflict, with each frustration. Taehyung would just beat up someone to get his anger out.

 

It was like this for a while, until his parents decided that enough was enough. Even his mother who loved him dearly couldn't handle seeing more of Taehyung's fighting.

 

"We're sending you to your uncle Taehyung. Lord knows we don't have patience for you" The boy only rolled his eyes and scoffed.

 

"If you don't have patience then why did you fu**? Could've worn a condom _appa_ "

 

That was the first time Taehyung's father hit him.

 

—————–———

 

"Hey kid, you've grown up well" Taehyung was glaring at his feet as his uncle smiled at him. He rolled his eyes and shoved past the older male without acknowledging him.

 

Really he can't believe that his parents sent him to someone who can barely take care of himself, let alone _Taehyung_.

 

"Yah don't be a brat! I used to change your diaper you know" Chanyeol scowled at the teenager with crossed arms. God, he didn't know that his sister's son was _this_ bratty. Last time he saw him, he could barely crawl let alone shove past him. He was so cute back then, with his boxy smile and cute baby gurgles.

Dammit Chanyeol wants _that_ Taehyung. The cute Taehyung.

 

"How old are you anyways? _I_ look older than you" Chanyeol beamed proudly as he closed his apartment's door.

 

"I'll take that as a compliment, I'm twenty nine. You're seventeen if I'm not wrong?" Taehyung's brow twitched in annoyance, but he nodded to the last part of the conversation. To be honest, Taehyung was kinda surprised Chanyeol knew how old he was. He hasn't seen him in....well forever.

 

Chanyeol was tall, like insanely tall. His ears kinda looked like Taehyung's ( or it should be the other way around ) and he had a dimple on one of his cheeks. He was fairly handsome for an old man. ( he's not that old but Taehyung can call him whatever he wants ).

 

"Alright then, your room is upstairs. Lemme help you with your stuff"

 

"I hope you don't expect me to call you samchon or something.." Chanyeol snorted at that as he picked up two bags off the floor.

 

"Please don't, I'd feel very old otherwise. Call me hyung" Taehyung groaned, following Chanyeol up the stairs with a heavy heart. ( he was so tired and in a new place with someone he hasn't seen in so long so excuse him ).

 

"Won't Chanyeol do?" The older tsk'd before opening Taehyung's bedroom door.

 

"Nope" He said, popping the 'P'

 

Taehyung wonders just how _this_ creature was supposed to set him straight or whatever it is his parents called it.

 

——————————

 

It was the middle of the night and Taehyung lay restlessly in bed. The unfamiliar environment not helping to ease his mind. He was thinking about anything and everything, about how he would love to go out and drink to his hearts content. Maybe punch someone or two.

 

He huffed and got up, his sore muscles complaining in the process. Grabbing a small blanket that was thrown haphazardly on the floor, he wrapped it around his shoulders successfully sheltering himself from the cold. He opened his door slowly and tiptoed downstairs to the living room.

 

Well, he can't exactly sleep and his body is in no condition to fight so he might as well watch some TV, right?

 

Deep down Taehyung knew he _wanted_ to get better. Deep down, he knew he was scared. Scared to go out in such a big city like Seoul, where he knew no one and no one knew him. Deep down, Taehyung felt that if he wanted to be better, he needs to control himself.

 

And maybe. Maybe this....Chanyeol _character_ was going to help him.

 

Who knew?

 

Taehyung wrapped the blanket tighter around him and lay down on the comfortable-as-fu** sofa, glueing his eyes to the episode of hello counselor that was playing.

 

Huh, maybe he should send his concern to them? They'd help right?

 

"Taehyung? Is that you?" Chanyeol came down the stairs, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He was a little mad honestly, didn't kids have bed times or whatever? He even tucked him in! ( or tried to, since Taehyung almost kicked him in the balls )

 

"No, it's the big bad wolf" Chanyeol put his arms on his waist and raised an eyebrow.

 

"You're supposed to be in bed, you know...sleeping"

 

"Supposed to" The older's patience was wearing thin and he had half a mind to pick the kid up and lock him in his room to prevent him from escaping.

 

He doesn't know why his noona decided that it would be a good idea for Taehyung to be sent to _him_ of all people. Well he does know, but he's bad with teenagers, kids, babies you name it. How was he supposed to get him into bed? God now what?

 

"Tae, we have to go enroll you in school in the morning. Can you please go sleep so you don't wake up in a mood?" Maybe speaking softly will work?

 

"I always wake up in a mood" Tsk, obviously not.

 

"Why don't you want to sleep Taehyung?" Chanyeol crouched down in front of the boy, successfully blocking his view of the TV.

 

"Just because" And it was _painfully obvious_ that Taehyung was lying. Chanyeol could sense it from a mile away.

 

"Can't sleep huh?" The younger wanted to hide his surprise, but failed miserably. _How did he know?_ He was being blank Tae, the one nobody could read, so how did he know?

 

"I....yeah" Chanyeol offered him a small smile before sitting criss-crossed on the floor in front of the brown haired boy.

 

"Would telling you stories help you sleep?" Chanyeol said with a teasing voice and Taehyung surprised both of them by chuckling.

 

"I'm not a three year old you know"

 

" _You_? Taehyung I'm your _uncle_. I'm _eight years_ older than you" Chanyeol lightly flicked the younger's forehead with a pout.

 

"Sorry................." After what felt like an hour, Taehyung said, "Hyung" And Chanyeol couldn't help the squeal that left him.

 

"Oh my God it's just like when you were a baby! Aw my heart hurts" He fake cried and Taehyung smiled. He was being so silly, but for some reason Taehyung was amused.

 

Chanyeol stopped with his stupid antics, and threaded his hand through Taehyung's hair, the younger was about to protest, however Chanyeol immediately shushed him.

 

"It'll make you relax and fall asleep. Promise" He was going to protest more, really. But Chanyeol's hand in his hair did calm him down, so he just...left it alone.

 

And sleep never came faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it’s been a long time! I missed you all and I missed this fic so much!! I’m so sorry for the long wait ( if anyone’s been waiting really ) I was just so unbelievably busy I didn’t have time to even say I’m busy. I hope you all understand and I hope you liked this chapter! It’s a hint of what’s Tae’s life is like- but I’m not starting his story yet, since I didn’t finish Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s :3! I’m so happy to be back! 
> 
> I love you all an remember that you’re beautiful and you’re strong enough. Keep smiling <3.


End file.
